Here’s how to survive 20 straight days of AFL footy
It’s here! 20 days of straight footy starts on Wednesday night— a dream for some and nightmare for others. So how do you survive the footy marathon while juggling home duties? Here’s 20 tips to get you through 20 days of footy. 22 DAYS TO GO.
Lifestyle
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Six weeks stuck at home seems like a lifetime right now, but we’ve got you covered for daily entertainment.
Lockdown Life, a digital subscriber special, will give you a five minute brain break each day from coronavirus and arm you with some handy tips as well on keeping the family busy with movies to watch and bike rides to enjoy, and the adults well stocked with wine and recipes ideas — just to name a few.
So keep an eye out each lunchtime online.
Today we share 20 tips to get you through 20 days of footy.
1. Get yourself a second computer screen for ‘work purposes’. Not only is it potentially tax deductible — but don’t take any advice from us — it will also help you juggle your dual responsibilities.
2. Go rogue and bring daylight savings forward a few months. Tell the family it's a bid by the state government to give depressed Victorians more hours of daylight and then relish in your children’s early bedtimes.
3. Face masks aren’t just for protecting you from coronavirus. They also make handy snack pouches if sewn onto your favourite jumper or if you aren’t much of a seamstress just pour your favourite snack straight into the mask while it’s on your face.
4. Consider paying for your family to be flown interstate where they will have to quarantine for 14 days. Seems like an extreme measure but that’s more than half the fixture covered.
5. Invest in a meal delivery service. No shopping, no cooking and brownie points with the other half all equal more time for footy.
6. Find a weighty novel and cut a hole in the pages the exact size of your phone. This will secrete your phone away from view while the rest of your family thinks you are taking part in a new hobby.
7. Put the dog on a diet and exercise regimen. Then you can be out of the house on walks at game time.
8. Grow a beard. No matter your anger, the bushier your facial growth the less likely anyone else in the house will want anything to do with you leaving you to watch the footy in peace.
9. Move your bed into the loungeroom. Far from being a sign of defeat or that your life is over it's a sensible back saving measure to watch 33 games.
10. If you start to fatigue ditch Hawthorn games, you know you won’t be missing much anyway.
11. For anyone with a footy loathing spouse consider series linking Farmer Wants A Wife and Bachelor In Paradise that should keep them busy for a while.
12. Hide the remotes and claim the TV is broken and ‘stuck’ on FoxFooty.
13. Start wearing a beanie around the house, it will allow you to hide your airpods with ease.
14. Claim a colleague has had a ‘COVID scare’ and that you think you should self isolate as a precaution.
15. Stock up on snacks. Anything with more than a 1 1/2 star health rating is no good.
16. Stay hydrated — take from that what you like but we’ll just remind you that Dan Murphy’s delivers.
17. Buy new footy merch. You won’t be wearing anything fancy for a long while, so lean into lockdown attire and buy that new scarf, hoodie or beanie.
18. Get a haircut inspired by your favourite player. Even if you don’t like it, in about 20 days your old hair cut may have grown back.
19. Be prepared to sacrifice. Golf, tennis and doing form for Saturday’s quaddie might have to go on the backburner for a bit.
20. Use the breaks to start planning that St Kilda 2020 Premiership tattoo.
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