Looking to get rid of your ghosts this Halloween? Try 'cobwebbing'

Not everything needs to be spooky this Halloween.

Halloween is already spooky enough, you don’t need to feel haunted by your past relationships too. That's where the cobwebbing dating trend comes in handy, encouraging everyone to get rid of their ghosts and skeletons in their closets before the year is out.

Go to haunted houses, get out an Ouija board or watch a scary movie – just don’t spend October 31st combing through memories of old flames. 

That's what TikTok dating 'experts' are saying anyway, claiming the 'cobwebbing' dating trend is the perfect way to shed your ghosts and resurrect your dating life, before the end of the year.

So if you have been looking for a sign that it’s time to let your past loves go, Halloween could be exactly what you were waiting for.

What is cobwebbing?

If you can’t stop thinking about someone from your past, or carry expectations and insecurities into new relationships, cobwebbing may help you to move on.

Love and relationship coach Heather Garbutt told Glamour cobwebbing is “generally understood to mean the cleaning away of connections between you and past love partners, old flames, or even current attractions which are no longer good for you”.

She says these connections “may be interfering with your current relationship or your search for a new love.”

So whether it's clearing out old phone contacts, going on an unfollow spree, or just making the decision not to engage with a past flame anymore, it's about clearing those cobwebs right out of your life.

The pang of guilt or self loathing when the thought of an ex pops into your head is never a good feeling. Image: Getty

Is cobwebbing good for you?

While it can be good to hold onto the lessons and fond memories of past relationships, thinking about old partners too often can seriously affect your mood.

And the pang of guilt or self-loathing when the thought of an ex pops into your head is never a good feeling. 

Garbutt says thinking of old loves too often can also “create distress, guilt, conflict or confusion within you”, as these thoughts can be “a massive distraction and will divide your energy, focus and commitment. You want to be free of all of the fetters of the past to really be where you are in the present.”

She claims these thoughts can also hold us back from the potential good relationships you could actually be in now.

“If there is a hankering for, feelings of obligation to or unfinished business with the previous (romantic partners), you cannot give your full attention to the one you're with. If you are looking for new love, the effect will be similar.”

And making more of a conscious effort to be present is never a bad thing – so when it comes to cobwebbing, it can't hurt to try.

"You want to be free of all of the fetters of the past to really be where you are in the present.” Image: Canva.

How do you do it?

Though you may think it’s nice to have an ever-growing collection of things from your partner, holding onto them when the relationship is over can do you more harm than good.

Here's how to start cobwebbing this Halloween. 

#1. Check in with yourself

They say communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and that includes the one with yourself. 

Try to be present and aware of your thinking, then ask yourself what areas of your life are tinged with memories from your past and what things trigger memories of your ex.

Though you may think it’s nice to have an ever-growing collection of things from your partner, holding onto them can do you more harm than good. Image: iStock.

#2. Get rid of physical reminders

The next step? Remove your physical ties to them.

Garbutt says it’s “important to let go of anything that reminds you of those former relationships” – otherwise you can never truly move on. 

She insists you need to consider getting rid of “old love letters, photographs, things which hold your heart. Items like rings and jewellery can hold particular power as they were usually given with heart-felt love and at emotionally charged times.”

If you can’t bring yourself to throw these objects away, the love and relationship coach encourages you to give them new life. 

“Pass them on. Get them made into something new. Sell them. They bind you to the past and old vows or commitments you held dear which hold no truth in where you are now.

Try to be present and aware of your thinking. Image: Getty

Write it down

This process can be overwhelming, so Garbutt suggests trying to provide yourself some closure. 

“Write a letter to a former love, not to send to them, but in which you express any lasting resentments, disappointment, sadness or anger,” she suggests. “Really say how you feel and get it out of your system.”

Garbutt says it’s “important to let go of anything that reminds you of those former relationships”. Image: Pexels.

By following these steps, hopefully cobwebbing can help you clear out any blockages, and make you feel ready to finally date someone new, without your old relationships haunting you.

Who would have thought Halloween would be the perfect time to find new love?

Originally published as Looking to get rid of your ghosts this Halloween? Try 'cobwebbing'