Business class has changed, and these are the new rules you should be aware of
Burn your activewear, throw your AirPods in the trash and launch your loafers out of the nearest window: here are the new rules of business class in 2023.
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All elements of travel have been streamlined in the wake of the pandemic. Business class is no different.
Business class has seen seismic shifts since the days of cigarettes and cigars. But it didn't stop evolving in 2019. Since the pandemic, the rules of the game have changed yet again. So shed your suit, burn your activewear, throw your AirPods in the trash and launch your your loafers out of the nearest window: here are the new scriptures for business class in 2023.
Don't dress up
Didn't you hear? Sneakers are the new dress shoes, yoga pants are the new jeans and suits are the new cargo pants. Not only does wearing a suit in business class mark you out you as someone who was fashionable 20 years ago, but it's uncomfortable and impractical. Worse: it won't get you upgraded. Take it from me - the world's leading authority on having a business class whinge - I haven't seen anyone wear a suit in business class in a very long time (let alone seen anyone wearing a suit get upgraded 'just because').
On top of that, expert upgrade artist Immanuel Debeer (the founder of Flight Hacks) has told me numerous times that it's a complete myth, this whole idea that dressing up gets you upgraded. He has even gone so far as to say that being overly prescriptive about what people wear in business class is a sure sign you have never flown business class (“How to tell if someone never flies business/first: they will tell you what to wear or how to dress”).
Don’t drink billions of bellinis
As tempting as it might be to treat your 6am flight like an 11am brunch with your favourite English and Irish mates (waxed legs and penchant for getting absolutely hammered included), it's not the best idea for your health, your flight attendants or your fellow passengers. So sorry señores, it's now 2023. Getting drunk in business class is officially uncool. You heard it here first.
Don't clean your bare feet with the hot towel
Especially not while the economy passengers are filing through, looks of horror, disgust and - is that a teensy bit of admiration for your sheer gall? - on their faces...
Don’t get angry if your nuts are served in a packet
It wasn't a good look for the (former) Korean Air Vice President Heather Cho when she lost the plot (and ordered the plane back to the gate) after being served nuts in first class in a packet rather than on a plate, and it's not a good look for you, either. Though you have a right to high quality service if you have paid a premium for business class, given how badly airlines were devastated during the pandemic, by now we should have all learned to cut them a little slack - or at the very least not vent out frustration on the hapless frontline staff. Shouting makes you look like a tool, even if you're in the right.
Don’t post a photo of your boarding pass on Instagram
Security concerns and identity theft aside, this is super cringe. Please stop.
Don’t wear activewear in the lounge
This isn't because there is anything wrong with sweats or tights. As we've previously explained, in this day and age, dress codes and air travel don't mix. There's no excuse for telling anyone their body is "offensive to the assembled flying public" in 2023. However... some airlines will kick you out of their business class lounges if you rock up looking a certain way (as one ex WWE wrestler/fitness model found out in 2020). To avoid this, save the activewear for the gym.
Don't wear wireless in-ear headphones while you sleep
Don't be that guy. Seriously. They will fall out of your ears and you will lose them. You will then annoy other passengers in your search for them and have to ask the flight attendants for assistance. And the cold innards of your seat are unforgiving.
Don't ask other passengers to move
If you can't stand to be apart from your significant other, child or friend for the duration of a flight, then get organised and book seats next to each other.
Don't humble-brag about your Qantas pajamas
We get it: you flew business class once. And if you're going to brag about it, at least be straight up. Don't drop it into conversation trying to act all casual. I know what you're doing.
Don't expect a bar and a shower
Unless you're flying on an Emirates A380 (the large kind of superjumbo most airlines are replacing with more efficient narrowbody jets), don't expect a walk up bar at 40,000ft. The same goes for showers (which are a first class privilege, even on Emirates' A380).
Don't bother working
The 'suite-ification' of business class over the last decade means it's now all about getting in those sweet dreams (not logging into Teams). So just rest up, don't bother the rest of us with your keyboard clacking, and perform even better at your destination.
Don’t look too comfortable until the economy passengers have filed through
It's just rude. Pretend to be busy on your phone or laptop, or read a book. Leave the moaning and groaning about how good your seat is until you're alone with just your fellow pointy end passengers.
Don't post a 'slammertime' Instagram story
It might be tempting to follow online trends, but most of the time you'll look back at them and shudder. As is the case with the 'slammertime' business class trend that emerged in 2019/2020. This trend involved business class passengers skolling their champagne, filming themselves doing it, then tagging their mates to do the same. While I have no problem with you guzzling your glass, filming it is in poor taste, I reckon.
Don't overindulge
Luxury in 2023 is no longer about flamboyant excess. It's about wellness. Peace of mind. Wholesome feels. Classy - but understated - thrills. To match this (and to look like you fly business class all the time) don't feel the need to partake in every item of food or drink you are offered.
Don't break the circle of trust
Many people enjoy flying business class for the privacy. So if you see a celebrity snoring with their mouth open, or a high flying CEO wobbling about after one too many glasses of Shiraz, don't film them and post it on Twitter.
Don't try and network
This is a sacred place. Please don't make me take off my noise cancelling headphones unless it's an emergency. Plus: there's no easy escape if things get awkward.
Don't assume airlines are begging for your business
They are well and truly back to squeezing you (and your frequent flyer points or flight credit) for all you've got. Don't expect any favours, special treatment or random upgrades to first class any more.
Seat belt rules are not a suggestion
Gravity still applies in business class. So strap in, and don't make the flight attendants ask you twice. Oh, and vaping is still a crime in business class, too, just before you try and get away with that...
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