Quick Singles: Dermie’s cricket cones capers

Dermott Brereton came up with some eye-popping boundary cones as he set up for a local game of cricket. All the latest funny and quirky happenings in this week’s Quick Singles column.

Dermott Brereton. Picture: Valeriu Campan

Dermott Brereton and his Heatherhill Third XI teammates sure do have a lot of fun.

The Hawks legend always sets up the stumps and puts out the cones before home games.

Well, last week, he realised he didn’t have enough cones to go all the way around the oval.

So, a mate of his gave him a bunch of witches hats. The only problem was they were quite tall and were in Hazchem colours of black and yellow.

“So there was an area on the ground behind the bowler that looked like a nuclear zone,’’ Derm chuckled on SEN breakfast radio.

HILLS HIGH JINKS

There were more high jinks in Dermie’s match against Somerville on the weekend. In the corresponding game last season, Heatherhill champ John Hille sprang a surprise when he bowled “a chewed up’’ tennis ball to Somey’s “Jugga’’ Nagel. Well, there were more shenanigans on the weekend. When Jugga walked out to bat, Heatherhill skipper “Scabs’’ Martin told Jugga the bowler had done his hammy and, you guessed it, Hille was replacing him. And with that, John ran into bowl and delivered a rubber bouncy ball to Jugga, who swiftly switched to left-handed and whacked it. Then the bowler came back on and completed his over.

Jason “Jugga’’ Nagel and Dermott Brereton. Picture: Valeriu Campan

‘DROP IT’

We know Bayswater seamer Michael Topp is in some kind of purple patch. Not only did he snare nine wickets on Saturday – he grabbed another six in a Tuesday night T20. But at Quick Singles we think the best performance of the week goes to one of Topp’s teammates. We won’t name names but we’re reliably told a teammate of Topp’s showed his value just before the 10th wicket fell. Topp had the first nine before Rishi Patel created a chance at the other end. As Riley Wade settled for the catch which would ultimately end Coburg’s innings, a teammate urged Wade to put the catch down. Unfortunately, Wade held on, ruining Topp’s chances of jagging a clean sweep.

HE’S BACK

Former state cricketer and AFL-Dog Alex Keath made a return to the creases on Tuesday night, playing in a T20 for Elwood. Keath played seven first-class matches before code-hopping to football where he played 109 AFL games. Keath made a solid return, hitting 9no and taking 1-15.

Alex Keath. Photo: Dave Cronin

CAN WE HAVE ONE?

A First XI side lost the toss on Saturday and replied to ‘we’ll have a bat’ from the opposing captain with ‘we’ve got nine, can we have one of yours’? The opposing captain said no … it was an ambitious request given the temperature. Luckily for this side, two players showed up – one holding a brand new pair of shoes – before play and another about five overs in. The second ring-in should have stayed at home however as he grassed a catch in his first over in the field.

LOST ITS SHINE

Cricket balls aren’t cheap so you don’t want to be destroying them for no reason. It happened in an MPCA First XI match recently when the umpire, who had been handed the eight-overs-old ball the previous week, turned up on the second day of the game in a panic. “I don’t know where the ball is,’’ the umpy declared. So, in agreement with the two captains, the bowling side supplied a brand new ball and the under-pressure ump scuffed it up on the gravel carpark to make it look like it was eight overs old. Then, five minutes before play resumed, the umpire went to get his hat, and guess what? The real ball was nestled inside the hat. End result: a new pill wasted.

LIKE A FINE WINE

Some batsmen just never lose it. Craig “Burger’’ Burch is a prime example. The Frankston YCW legend scored 113 in the Stonecats’ thirds on the weekend. By our reckoning, the man known as “The Key’’ is in his early 60s. He truly is ageing like fine wine.