Shepparton family looking for answers 30 years on from death of Tom ‘Tommy’ Argaet

Tom ‘Tommy’ Argaet died in Sydney in 1993 in what his loved ones believe was a gay-hate crime. More than 30 years on, the Shepparton family is still seeking answers.

Tom Argaet died on October 31, 1993 in Sydney’s inner west after a night of drinking at a local pub that turned nasty.

A Shepparton family are still searching for answers 30 years after their beloved brother was the victim of what they believe was a gay-hate crime.

Mervyn Thomas ‘Tommy’ Argaet was 36-years-old when he died in suburban Sydney on October 31, 1993 after a dispute over Tommy wanting to sleep with another man.

Steven Bonner, who was aged 24 at the time, was accused of stabbing Tommy following an argument between the pair about 3am.

Tommy died hours later from his injuries at The Royal Prince Alfred hospital.

The argument and alleged stabbing took place at Bonner’s flat in Dulwich Hill, in Sydney’s inner west.

Mr Bonner was acquitted of murder and manslaughter by a jury in the Supreme Court of NSW, on Thursday, May 18, 1995, leaving the Argaet family with no answers.

Tommy Argaet was a “big gentle giant”, say his loving sisters.

Mr Bonner was acquitted on the grounds of “gay panic”, a plea of self-defence.

The defence of homosexual panic or “gay panic” was officially abolished nationwide in December 2020 when the South Australian parliament passed a bill outlawing the defence.

A report delivered by Strike Force Parrabell investigated 88 deaths between 1976 and 2000 in NSW, which were highlighted by researches as having potential gay-hate bias motivation, or connection with the LGBTIQ+ communities.

The report found that 27 cases were gay-hate bias crimes (eight confirmed, 19 suspected).

Strike Force Parrabell found that there was no evidence of bias crime in Tommy’s case.

Nearly three decades have passed since the trial, but the family is still upset about how Tommy was portrayed in court.

The family believe Tommy was wrongly portrayed during the Supreme Court trial of Steven Bonner.

“They acted like he was worth nothing … That’s how we felt, and that’s how we still feel,” the family said.

Tommy’s sisters – Liz, Deb and Ann Argaet – said the trial painted a picture of “how bad” Tommy was, when “he was a good man” with a “heart as big as you can get”.

Liz Argaet with her beloved brother Tommy.

The family wasn’t allowed to speak during the court proceedings.

Tommy’s sisters remember him as “quick witted” with a “great sense of humour”, traits they believe were the downfall of the “big gentle giant”.

The Argaet family recently relocated Tom’s body to Shepparton to be alongside his parents, and another sister, who died recently, at the Pine Lodge cemetery.

You can help support the Argaet family after they funded bringing Tommy’s body to Shepparton.