Calls for men to ‘check on their mates’ amid rise in male suicides

Affected loved ones of men who died by suicide have sent a strong message to communities, urging people to check on their mates before they “regret not speaking up”.

Retired men are among the most vulnerable to suicide in the state, with affected loved ones urging blokes to check in on their mates “before it’s too late”.

It comes as the latest monthly suicide report released by the Coroners Court revealed 97 Victorian men aged above 65 died by suicide between January 1 and November 30, 2024, making up about 13 per cent of all suicide deaths in Victoria during that time.

And more than 70 per cent of the suicide deaths recorded were males.

According to the report there were 719 suicide deaths in Victoria in 2024 up until November 30 — down slightly from 725 at November 2023.

Victorian men aged above 65 are among the most vulnerable to suicide.

It’s why Peter Gray, the president of the Mooroolbark Men’s Shed in Melbourne’s outer east, “worked hard” to ensure the 45 members of the group were accounted for if he did not see them at the shed.

“The guys can’t live without it, if they wouldn’t have this place to come to with the commradery that we have here I don’t think a lot of the guys would survive,” he said.

“Some of the guys struggle to get out of bed with anxiety and depression, so I’m working on a few guys pretty hard to get them back.

“It’s very hard for some people at that age because they get very depressed and the ones that do come here get heavily involved and seem to get by.

“We make sure everyone talks to everyone to get people involved to get some confidence into them.

“When you see them a couple of weeks later you find they miss it when they can’t make it and I get real joy out of hearing that.”

Clinical psychologist and clinical spokesman from Beyond Blue Dr Luke Martin said the last few years had been tough on many people, including older men.

“Older adults are exposed to many difficult life circumstances that put pressure on their mental health and increase their risk of suicide. Things like loneliness, physical illness and injury, chronic pain, grief, and bereavement and losing the ability to work and live independently,” he said.

“Older adults have the lowest rates of support seeking for their mental health and many aren’t as mental health literate as younger generations. There can also be a desire to keep personal matters private, as well as a stigma and a lack of awareness or knowledge about available services and support. We want older Australians to know depression and anxiety are not a normal part of ageing, there is support available and it’s never too early — or too late — to reach out.”

About a third of suicide deaths between January 1 and November 30, 2024 were in regional areas.

Founder of the We Listen suicide support group in Shepparton Steve Neff said people should “not just check in once” on their loved ones if they suspected something was off.

“I encourage people to reach out because I don’t know how many people say to me years later ‘I wish I had said something’,” he said.

“Keep following it up, don’t give up on them. Because you don’t want to be saying ‘I wish I had followed through’.”

We Listen founder Steve Neff ahead of one the annual suicide awareness walks. Picture: Facebook

Mr Neff — who lost a relative to suicide — said his goal when he set up We Listen in 2017 in Shepparton was to provide a platform to help the “innocent victims left behind” in the town.

“I noticed the ones left behind don’t have anyone and during our first meeting we had 38 people turn up and I reckon about 35 have become regular contributors,” he said.

“In regional areas what works well in our group is that it’s locals supporting locals and people with lived experience. All our members are people who have lost people to suicide themselves.

“During our open group meetings we allow people to speak and focus on the lives lived on the ones we lost and we focus on how our members are travelling now.”

Next month Shepparton mental health and Black Dog institute advocate Dale Skinner

will lead Shepparton’s inaugural Walk for a Bloke event — a 25km walk in the town raising awareness for men’s mental health.

Dale Skinner (front) will lead Shepparton's inaugural "Walk for a Bloke" walk on March 22. Picture: Supplied

Hosted by Australian charity Spoke to a Bloke, walks will be held in more than 19 locations across the world, including in Melbourne and Albury.

Mr Skinner said it was “really important” to bring the community together to address the issue.

“Shepparton is a really multicultural town, so it’s really important to understand because every culture views mental health differently,” he said.

“I don't want my mates going to blokes’ funerals because they didn’t feel comfortable talking for whatever reason. I want this place to be a thriving, positive environment where blokes can talk openly.

“Every second bloke I speak to is happy to talk about someone else in their life that’s had a battle with mental health or suicide but there’s still that stigma around themselves.”

The Shepparton walk will be held on March 22 from the Victoria Park Lake.

Beyond Blue’s support service can be reached 24/7 at 1300 22 4636.