Can We Talk? campaign: Four Aussies share their mental health tips

No one is immune to mental health issues. Brave Australians have shared how they’ve handled challenges, and their advice to anyone who is struggling.

Griselda and Stephen Quaggin, with kids Emma and Leila. Photo: Steve Pohlner

As part of the Can We Talk? campaign, these four Australians have bravely shared their stories and detailed their advice to others.

‘Three priorities that help my mental health’

Brisbane woman Griselda Quaggin says being vulnerable with her friends and family has helped her through a shock health diagnosis.

The mother-of-two was leaving work in the city when she felt tingling in her feet and struggled to make the short distance to Central train station.

She spent a week in Prince Charles Hospital undergoing tests and scans until she was finally diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in October, 2023.

It turned her world upside down and she feared what the future would look like for herself, husband Stephen and AFL-loving daughters Leila, 14, and Emma, 12.

The anguish was coupled with common physical symptoms of MS – balance issues, vision changes, brain fog, fatigue and heat intolerance.

“I grieved the old me,” Mrs Quaggin said.

“For 10 months I had really low mental health.

“The shock of the diagnosis, the impact on my family.

“It wasn’t until I opened up to close friends – a group of us school mums went for a coffee one morning – that I started to feel better.

“I think being vulnerable and sharing my story about this invisible disease really helped.”

She has found keeping a weekly runsheet has helped her manage her workload as a mother and full-time worker, and she now prioritises her physical, mental and spiritual health.

Regularly walking, learning more about MS and keeping a diary are part of her daily routine.

And she insists on having scheduled time to connect with her family.

That means family dinners every night and a planned activity, like eating out or “going to the park to kick the footy”, happens once a fortnight.

“I tell myself that this condition is a gift as it has encouraged me to place meticulous value on my relationships, time and energy,” Mrs Quaggin said.

‘Shared sorrow is a half sorrow’

Losing his job and enduring rolling lockdowns could have crushed Himal Pillay during Covid.

But instead, the Melbourne 27-year-old says he bounced back stronger than ever.

He credits this in large part to the mental armour he built after overcoming challenges as a teenager.

“It was a struggle, I lost my job straight away and had too much time to think,” he said.

“But you have to navigate stormy waters or get washed away.

“I know what it takes now to adjust to difficult circumstances, particularly after I experienced what I did when I was young.”

From the age of 13, Mr Pillay began suffering depression and anxiety as he witnessed a loved one’s health challenges.

He says at one point, he nearly “gave up” on life.

“I didn’t have a plan but I did contemplate suicide, as I didn’t want to live that life,” he recalled.

He said he had “no hope”, and was engulfed by sadness.

“What got me through was having purpose,” Mr Pillay said.

Fast forward 14 years and Mr Pillay is now studying psychology, runs resilience workshops through his business Realign and is on a mission to help reduce suicide rates.

Himal Pillay, right, with wife Vaishnavi Vedula. Picture: Jason Edwards

The R U OK? ambassador said it was more important than ever for Victorians to ask each other how they are “every day”, and encouraged people to have the “courage” to open up.

He said he wouldn’t be where he is today without sharing what he has gone through with friends, family and psychologists, and simple things such as exercise and practising gratitude.

“I think people often feel a fear of being judged and outcasted,” he says.

“But the best case scenario is that you get support, and a weight is lifted from you.

“In my Realign and R U OK? work I always mention the proverb that shared joy is double joy.

“Shared sorrow is a half sorrow.”

Mr Pillay has had to draw on his toolkit of strategies again in the past year after a family member’s repeated suicide attempts triggered ongoing panic attacks.

But he has turned a corner and said getting married this month was the happiest time of his life.

‘We can make a difference’

Andy Arnold is a point of call for many people in his community.

Ever since losing his brother to suicide, the Adelaide father-of-four is open about mental health issues and makes it known that he’s there to help.

Andy Arnold with his family Owen, 15, Madison 16, Elka 8, Lewis, 13, and wife Mel Arnold. Picture: Kelly Barnes

“We’ve got to learn more about mental health, mental ill health, suicide awareness and prevention and what signs to look for,” he said.

“I’ve seen mental health grow from being fairly taboo to being much more spoken about.

“So I think if people are given room to talk and they realise that the subject’s not off the table, they’ve suddenly got a platform to talk about it.”

Mr Arnold became an R U OK? community ambassador after his brother James died by suicide in 2014.

He is a stalwart of the Salisbury Heights community, playing with the over 35s Tea Tree Gully District Football Club, and also volunteering as a Lifeline phone operator.

Having open discussions about mental health is important for everyone in the community, he

said.

“The more we can talk about it and the more we can spread the message, we can make a difference because the system is broken and it is hard, and more people are suffering from mental health than ever before,” he said.

“We probably can’t always rely on governments.

“The people have to do it, the communities have to do it, and that’s why I’m so passionate about it.”

‘Mental ill health doesn’t discriminate’

Sydneysider Sally Braybrooks has always hit the high notes in her career, from classical music

to the banking sector.

So people are often stunned when they discover she grapples with her mental health.

“My life has been a series of academic successes and achievements, and so I wasn’t ever

asked how I was really doing,” Ms Braybrooks, 43, said.

She earned a scholarship to study music in the US, and graduated top of her class with a University Medal.

“But mental ill health doesn’t discriminate,” she said.

“It can come up for a variety of reasons.”

For years she hid her depression and anxiety, and suffered a major mental health crisis in 2005.

She was still living overseas at the time and said it was a bumpy 10-year road to recovery.

It wasn’t until she spotted hundreds of people on a community walk that her life began to take a turn.

“It was an American Society for Suicide Prevention walk,” she recalled.

“I had felt so alone because people weren’t talking openly about serious mental illness.

“But finding that community opened a door for me to safely tell my story, and start to heal.”

Sally, now working in Sydney as a bank manager with an MBA under her belt, is no longer

staying silent.

Sally Braybrooks. Picture: Justin Lloyd.

The R U OK? ambassador said every time she shared her story, people opened up in surprising ways.

“They say things like, ‘I’ve never talked about this before’, or ‘You know what, I’m really going to make an effort to check in on (a loved one) soon’.”

She said she strove to lead her team at work with compassion, particularly with NSW the top

state for work stress.

Today, she’s no longer the same person she was in 2005.

She credits a mixture of strategies including healthy eating, boxing, creative outlets and a strong support network.

“I still have regular treatment, but I don’t think of myself as being unwell,” she said.

“My purpose is to try and further destigmatise mental illnesses and be a face of hope for people who may have lost some.”

Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, helping Australian families better tackle mental wellbeing. To follow the series and access all stories, tips and advice, visit our new Health section.