TV chef Manu Feildel opens up on his battle with depression
TV chef Manu Feildel says the failure of his Melbourne restaurant with George Calombaris caused a horrible downward spiral, and it wasn’t until this horror moment that he realised he desperately needed to turn his life around.
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Manu Feildel has revealed he turned into a “dick” during five months battling depression after his restaurant in Melbourne failed.
The popular TV chef opened Le Grand Cirque with George Calombaris in South Yarra and closed just four months after its lavish opening in 2014.
The My Kitchen Rules and now Plate of Origin judge said a food critic had “destroyed us” and he couldn’t see past the subsequent failures.
“That was the worst time of my life,’’ Feildel told Nick Bracks in Monday’s podcast episode of Move Your Mind.
“As a grown up man I was destroyed, I was crying like a baby. I couldn’t understand. My brain was in a cloud.
“My manager and I were together in this as well and I went through depression for five months. My wife (Clarissa) was pregnant at the time, she gave birth to my beautiful daughter (Charlee), I was a dick of a dad, I wasn’t there. Because I was in a bad place, I was in a dark place.
“And I was horrible. I was horrible to my wife, I was horrible to my child.”
Feildel, the charismatic French born chef, said something clicked after that and he turned his life around with the help of his wife and friends.
“I had a lot of support from her, she was still hanging out trying to help me even though I was a bit of a dick,’’ he said.
“My friends were there as well. Suddenly the clouds started to disappear and I just went, just get on with it. I went on to do the next project.
“All I was looking (at) is what I didn’t get. What I failed at instead of looking at everything else I had around me. I had a great TV career, I had a beautiful wife, I had two beautiful kids. I’ve got a beautiful house and all of this just disappeared then. It just suddenly cleared up and I realised what I had instead of what I lost.”
Feildel said he thought the stigma of having that failed business, which came after his restaurant closed in Sydney, would forever haunt him.
“The way it got closed it was personal to me because I was criticised as a chef, I was criticised as a business owner, I was criticised as something I’d worked all my life as a chef,’' he said.
“I thought I would never be able to ever open a restaurant again because of that stigma that was stuck to me.
“That was a long five months to recover from it and discover myself again. (I said) alright I might not do a restaurant but people bloody appreciate me on the screen so why don’t I concentrate on that.”
Feildel said he has become better at managing his mental health and each year sets a goal.
He has taken on the Kokoda Track, lost 12kg last year, is training for a triathlon in November and next year wants to fight in a boxing match.
In a wide ranging chat with Bracks, who he met on Dancing with the Stars in 2011, Feildel’s advice for anyone struggling included being patient, don’t compete with others and surround yourself with a strong team.
He also urged those in a bad place to help themselves.
“You go through horrible times, it’s not the end of your life, it’s a horrible moment and you’ve got to go through it,’’ he said.
“And you are the only one who can fix things. Don’t expect help. You can talk to people to empty your chest so you can liberate yourself of your anger and your frustrations, yes. But those people are not going to help you. You can help yourself.
“Stop beating yourself up. Just get up, be strong, take a piece of paper, take a pen, put down the pros and cons and try to eliminate the cons and start working on the pros. I know it’s easier said than done, but frankly there’s only person that can help you — it’s you.”
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