Ray Martin explains why looking someone in the eye can heal the heart and mend bridges

DON’T dismiss it as another dodgy social experiment. Ray Martin says his new show, which uses ‘non-verbal communication’ to reconnect estranged people, is the real deal.

RAY Martin admits that he was sceptical about hosting Look Me in the Eye, which uses the counselling technique of ‘non-verbal communication’ to reconnect estranged people.

It is a fair call. After all, ‘social experiment’ is the buzzword in reality TV circles and has been used to justify exploitative ‘couples in crisis’ shows including Married at First Sight, Seven Year Switch and The Last Resort.

Ray Martin is the host of SBS show Look Me in the Eye. Picture: Supplied

But Martin insists that Look Me in the Eye is different.

Viewers are party to what happens when five minutes of face-to-face eye contact — without conversation — is used to heal old wounds.

Will participants reconnect and want to speak to one another or will it end badly with someone getting up and walking away?

Martin studied psychology for three years at university but that didn’t mean he was quick to sign on when SBS approached him about the show.

Look Me in the Eye participant Ayik in the midst of the psychological experiment.

“I am very sceptical of psychiatrists and psychologists,” the one-time A Current Affair host and Gold Logie winner says.

“The good ones are fantastic and the ordinary ones are very ordinary. So I wasn’t sure about this so-called ‘social experiment’.”

Luckily for the producers, Martin is at an interesting stage of his career. He is keen to try new concepts.

He was won over by the network’s pitch. He had recently hosted First Contact to acclaim and was curious to find out more

Look Me in the Eye participant Ayik is comforted by Ray Martin. Picture: Supplied

“At this stage of my life, I am following Sir David Attenborough, doing what I want to do rather than what I have been told to do,” Martin says.

“The impact of looking into someone’s eyes — especially if they have been through estrangement — is amazing.

“I wouldn’t want to do it myself and I wouldn’t have liked the concept before now but all the people we spoke to (who took part on the show) had a positive experience.”

The first episode focuses on two stories — Sue who is desperate to reconnect with her husband of 33 years, Gary, after a separation, and Ayik a former boy soldier from Sudan who comes face-to-face with his torturer from that time.

Look Me in the Eye — Ray Martin with Sue and Garry who appear in the first episode.

Later segments include country girl Shelley who confronts Mick, the father who walked away from the family when she was ten and siblings Taylor and Tynan whose relationship fell apart when their parents divorced.

Martin interviews the participants before and after the attempt at reconnection.

Look Me in the Eye is nothing like other “social experiment” shows such as Married at First Sight.

“It was one of the most emotional things I’ve ever done,” Martin says.

“We had to engage them, and get their trust. It helps if you are an old shoe like I am and they know who I am.”

Psychologists were on hand to help those participants who have serious issues to work through. Martin says that has given him a new appreciation of this form of counselling.

Ray Martin’s previous show for SBS was First Contact.

“For the two Sudanese guys, we had security there (as well) if they did, in fact, decide to go for each other’s throats. I seriously thought that they could turn violent (towards one another).

“We dropped one of the stories of a couple who came together because we thought it could have ramifications later, and it wasn’t worth the risk involved.

“It was probably our second best (story) but I’m glad SBS had that sense of a duty of care.

“In anyone else’s hands it might have been a different story.”

Look Me in the Eye begins Wednesday at 8.30pm on SBS.

Originally published as Ray Martin explains why looking someone in the eye can heal the heart and mend bridges