Awkward Logies contradiction: Ten sweeps awards, so why isn’t it number one?

IF THE Logies were actually voted by people who watched the shows, the winners would be very different from those who walked up onstage.

OPINION

IF LAST night’s Logies truly reflect the state of Australian television, Channel 10 is the leading TV network, Family Feud should still be on air, and Channel 9 still hasn’t found its editing switch.

In a four-and-a-half hour marathon which again ticked well past the advertised finish time of 11.12pm, Australian television’s night of nights might have had a new venue on the Gold Coast, but, aside from a biting new voiceover man in comedian Tony Martin — whose wry commentary polarised viewers — and live voting, pretty much resisted hitting the reset button on anything else.

For those hardy enough to stay awake, Grant Denyer winning gold for most popular TV personality — for a show deemed so unpopular by Channel 10 that it cancelled it earlier this year — pretty much summed up the night.

Denyer himself acknowledged it as he picked up an earlier Logie for most popular presenter. “This is awkward,” he said delightfully before warning Ten executives to “close your mouths or your chicken might fall out”.

Awkward indeed: Channel 10, Australia’s lowest-ranked free-to-air commercial network, saved by CBS after it went into receivership last year, in terms of ratings and audience share, won the awards night, picking up eight Logies gongs for its shows.

Channel 7, Australia’s number one network, which largely ignored the event, picked up one.

Logies broadcaster Channel 9, which used the marathon to mercilessly plug its own upcoming bumper ratings products like The Block and Australian Ninja Warrior, won three, and picked up another two for streaming service Stan. Add another to Nine’s tally if you count 60 Minutes being added to the Hall of Fame.

Foxtel won four, as did the ABC. And SBS got two.

Denyer’s win for an axed show wasn’t an anomaly. The Logies nomination and winners list featured a number of programs that are either finished, or their futures are in limbo.

Ten’s record haul again showcases the contradiction at the centre of Australia’s TV awards night.

Oscars, Emmys and Golden Globes: we go for a really really really long time!

Logies: Hold my beer! #Logies #Oscars

— Heather (@impossible_cut) July 1, 2018

The Logies has always taken an each-way bet as an awards show, thanks to its blend of popular awards voted by viewers and “outstanding” awards voted by industry peers.

So it’s pilloried for trying to be both a popularity contest and a credible judge of TV and talent. And when Channel 10 wins a record eight awards, clearly those TV ratings don’t come into it.

In 2018, popularity contest and savvy promo campaigns won the night: Tom Gleeson’s joke campaign for Denyer triumphed over Nine’s push for Tracy Grimshaw.

Tens clutch of Logies gongs don’t translate to solid TV ratings — it’s more a sign that those who vote are squarely Ten’s audience demographic — who honed those voting skills on TV shows like Big Brother, and haven’t stopped mobile voting ever since.

Subscription TV giant Foxtel’s four gongs, and another two to streaming service Stan, also show TV’s changed landscape and viewership.

Logies voters may vote. But increasingly, less of them watch.

As usual, Australian TV’s version of the Oscars or the Golden Globes, went for way to long.

Viewers voted with their remotes: the broadcast had its lowest five-city metropolitan ratings since 2001, when OzTam ratings began.

Red carpet arrivals drew 840,000 viewers in five capital cities and 1.157 million across Australia when regional figures were included.

The awards proper attracted an average 851,000 metropolitan viewers, swelling to 1.157 million figure when regionals were added.

The numbers were down on last year’s 972,000 in five cities, and 2016’s 1.12 million.

And 630,000 viewers were still watching when the Gold Logie winner was announced.

‘FROM HERE, IT’S SMOKE AND MIRRORS’

Former Nine star-turned-Channel 10 defector Lisa Wilkinson perhaps summed it up best, when hours before the show, she was one of a number of stars to post a make-up-free selfie on Instagram, before the hair and make-up fairies could make her red carpet ready.

“Everything you see from here is all smoke and mirrors,” she noted.

Even before red carpet coverage was over, the Gold Coast had variously been described as Australia’s cultural capital, lifestyle capital, and live event capital.

Mexicans would probably argue the toss on the first, and anyone who was at the Commonwealth Games closing ceremony would probably debate the last.

For those on the ground, the new venue was a win, with a “summer holiday camp” feel, according to TV Tonight editor David Knox.

“It worked. It was well-received. People were happy to be there,” he said.

Can someone just piece together all of Tony Martin's voiceover bits so I don't have to watch anything else? #Logies

— Clairey McSweary (@clairebbbear) July 1, 2018

Sylvia just called Queensland “Australia’s newest cultural hub” give the gal a #logie for getting through that without laughing! #Logies2018 #redcarpet

— gila (@G_I_L_A) July 1, 2018

In the last 20 minutes, Channel Nine has called the Gold Coast the Lifestyle Capital AND the Cultural Capital of Australia. #FakeNews #TVWeekLogies

— Dan Ilic (@danilic) July 1, 2018

For viewers, the Logies may have changed venues, but brought along its usual baggage.

Dave Hughes predictably skewered all in the room with an opening monologue which went off piste when he said he loved disgraced star Don Burke.

Bert Newton received a standing ovation for finally ditching his hairpiece and owning his bald pate, ahead of presenting the Kennedy award for new talent, named after his old friend Graham Kennedy.

Maybe Bert should have walked off then, but instead proved he hadn’t got the #metoo memo as he awkwardly dropped the word “poof” and made an uncomfortable-at-best joke about “mentoring” in dressing rooms behind closed doors.

MARATHON

The Gold Coast had hosted it’s annual marathon earlier in the day and Logies producers seemed to take that as a challenge, again offering viewing marathon of their own, with

less awards being presented doing little to trim the overall length of proceedings: an eternal bugbear of the broadcast.

Red carpet coverage from 7pm and initially, with organisers honouring the deal that got the show to the Gold Coast, coverage appeared to be a glossy ad for Queensland tourism.

Amid theme park promos, exhortations that there was still time to vote, and blinged-up stars showcased spinning lazy Susan-style to show off their outfits in the competition for best dressed, occasionally, a red carpet moment broke out.

Finally, TV caught up with real time as Shane Jacobson assured viewers multiple times during increasingly long and awkward live crosses and interviews — the show was now “live and dangerous”.

From there it was into the awards show, with its usual mix of awkward, fall-flat humour, a few tear-jerker moments, worthy winners, gems of speeches, howlers of speeches, unexpected victories, contradictions, and genuine WTF? moments.

Bert Newton gets a standing ovation at the 2018 Logies. Picture: Channel 9

. and then ruined it with ill-considered ‘mentoring’ comments. Picture: Channel 9

“We’re more than halfway, I promise you,” said voiceover man Martin just after 10pm. There was another hour-and-a-half to go.

The Logies wasn’t a disaster. It was its usual, excruciating mix of hearty congratulations, the occasional teary moment, worthy and less worthy winners, too-long segments, and an at-home viewing audience praying, as the coverage hit four hours, for a Gold Logie winner already so they could all go to bloody bed.

Next year let maybe let Tony Martin narrate the red carpet, Dave Hughes do an opening monologue, then cut straight to Julia Morris with a singing and dancing number in which she raps the names of all the winners, accompanied by a ticker-tape list across the bottom of the screen.

Run the musical acts back-to-back, go live for the Gold Logie winner announcement and speech.

Then hand back to Tony Martin for a wry 10-minute dissection of what’s just happened.

It could be done and dusted by 8.30, and we could all watch a Getaway special about Queensland.

Or a show Ten hasn’t cancelled.

Originally published as Awkward Logies contradiction: Ten sweeps awards, so why isn’t it number one?