Karlie Dales is focused on her kids after split with top jockey Ben Melham

When Ben Melham and Jamie Kah debuted their new romance, it was confirmation for his partner of 15 years of what she’d long suspected.

Jockey Ben Melham and partner Karlie Dales after he won the Golden Slipper in 2017.

The long-time partner of jockey Ben Melham was appalled all over again when she woke to headlines of him living the high life in Italy with fellow jockey Jamie Kah.

Karlie Dales certainly wasn’t shocked. Well, only in the sense she had no idea the father of her three kids was even overseas.

But in terms of his relationship with Kah, Australia’s best and most lauded female jockey, she was no fool.

Dales had long suspected such goings on. It didn’t help with people sending her videos, photos or the constant whispering and gossip that was never far from the racetrack.

But Dales had become conditioned to Melham, her now estranged partner of 15 years, flatly denying any wrongdoing during his infamous hard partying, point-blank, ever.

“I believe they started this a long time ago,” Dales told Page 13.

“He is a magician. I was at home oblivious to it all. He doesn’t hold himself responsible for anything.

Ben Melham and Karlie Dales were together for 15 years.

Jockeys Jamie Kah and Ben Melham at Royal Ascot.

“I wouldn’t call Jamie Kah my friend, I mean we said ‘Hi’ in fleeting moments. But looking back I think those moments were while she was busy, if you know what I mean.

“Gaslighting is definitely a thing. And manipulation is a powerful thing. He went missing all the time.”

Dales, 35, had long suspected Melham was “playing up” in various forms. Disappearing for three days at any given time, at any given moment, during their long relationship, while she looked after the kids, was kind of a giveaway.

But any question of his all-night benders, his Lothario ways and all the rumours that go with it and she was always met with that same flat, stare-you-dead-in-the-eyes denial.

The denials continued and so did life.

“When you are in the limelight people get away with it. You have people idolising certain people for achieving on the track and unfortunately I don’t think people should be put on a pedestal when they’re not in all aspects of their life role models,” she said.

“Loyalty lies within the industry. The money maker is Ben and it’s racing. It’s all about money, so everything is swept under the carpet.”

Melham and Kah are holidaying in Europe.

Just this week, Dales responded to rumours she is in a relationship with Melbourne premiership hero turned restaurant brawler Stephen May.

The two have met but Dales laughs at the outlandish whispers, saying she hasn’t had time to go out, let alone get into the dating game.

“I was just getting through and stepping up and being a present mum. That was my focus and that’s still my focus.

“Stephen’s a cool guy but I don’t think I’ve ever even had a one-on-one conversation with him. I have been out maybe twice since everything happened. I am so not in the dating game.”

Maintaining a dignified silence is really a euphemism for holding it together while the world that you once held falls around you. It’s finding your voice that is harder.

The friends you made over more than 15 years of going to the races to watch your partner compete fall by the wayside. Since breaking up last year following that Airbnb party (more of that later) Dales has copped it all.

Splitting with Melham as the headlines screeched, her life began to unravel. She also discovered their son had developed epilepsy and directed all her focus to her children.

Dales said she is being strong for the sake of her three children with Melham.

“In Easter I was literally holding him in my arms, thinking, I’m going to lose my boy. I didn’t have time to deal with anything other than my little kids. It puts things into perspective and if they want to act that way good luck to them. Two peas in a pod,” she said.

Dales was really blindsided when she again woke to headlines about an illegal Airbnb party during Victoria’s strict lockdown last August. Melham later admitted he was “blind” at the Mornington Airbnb knees-up and couldn’t remember anything after lying to stewards. Jockeys Jamie Kah, Ethan Brown, Mark Zahra and Celine Gaudray were fined and suspended over spring carnival for breaching Covid protocols.

Melham, 34, who spent five months on the sidelines from late 2020 for a betting offence was again out of the saddle for three months.

“I was learning as it was coming out. So literally, as you guys were releasing it all, I was learning about it.”

It was always the same, she said. “They go for a lunch and then the lunch goes on for three or four days. And they’ve booked a penthouse and, and dancers and stuff like that.

“But you know what, I’ve got no idea. I’ve never been to one of them because I was never invited. You could imagine why,” said Dales.

“As a mother, the best thing that we need to do and the only thing we need to do, really, is just find the silver lining.

“As challenging as that might be in situations as dark as this, my focus has just been about the kids and not even about myself.”

True friends and the support of her family have seen her hold her head high.

Dales has found her silver lining. When she returns from her much needed family holiday in Queensland for some R and R, she will soon launch performance-enhancement activewear label, Soul Warrior.

During her time with Melham, Dales said she would help him with his fitness and diet regimen. She has created the label with the motto, “perspire to inspire.”

She says her workout gear enhances training sessions for optimum weight loss.

“I just had to be strong to show up,” she says holding back tears, “but I’m ready, I’m ready to get back. And that’s what this holiday was for.

“I want to show the kids that I can do it. That I am a warrior, and you know, just be the best mum for them.”