Heath Shaw, Belle Gibson and George Calombaris consider SAS TV turn

An ex-AFL star could be joined next season on hit show SAS: Australia by some controversial classmates. Check out the latest news on Melbourne’s movers and shakers with Alice Coster.

The unmasking of this season’s SAS Australia volunteers.

EX-AFL star Heath Shaw has been tapped to join Channel 7 hit show, SAS: Australia.

Shaw was a member of Collingwood’s Rat Pack alongside renowned bad boys Dane Swan, Alan Didak and Dale Thomas.

Swan and Thomas gained cult followings after their roles on I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here.

Now it could be Shaw’s turn to go from rat pack to backpack.

Is Heath Shaw going from former Rat Pack member to Backpack member?

Part of Collingwood’s Shaw dynasty and known as a prankster with a strong social media following, the former Pies and GWS Giants star ticks all the SAS: Australia boxes.

Other big names such as cancer conwoman Belle Gibson, celebrity chef George Calombaris and the NFL’s Sam Burgess are there for their X-factor.

Casting agents are still looking for new contestants for the second series of Seven’s breakout show of 2020.

The network is keen to cash in on the series, which starts filming again next year.

Calombaris may need a reputation rescue only reality TV can offer.

Cancer faker Belle Gibson.

Physical demands mean contestants must be at least a fit fortysomething. Candidates face gruelling challenges that would put off most of us.

But worse for a celebrity is to feel relevance deprived.

Pity Sam Newman can’t apply. He’s fit but the Geelong and Footy Show champion is nearly 75.

TOBY MITCHELL: ACE VENTURA OR DR EVIL?

TOBY Mitchell certainly isn’t letting assault charges get in the way of living the good life.

After being granted bail on assault charges following an incident outside the Gilson cafe in South Yarra, the Mongols bikie boss has documented a day in his life.

Starting with a muesli brekkie with a view across the city from his penthouse apartment, the bikie strongman takes his equally beefed-up dog Boss out for a chuck of the frisbee.

In between buying expensive clothes and showing off his latest watch, Mitchell revealed his new wheels, a Mercedes SLS AMG ST.

He then took his Maserati for a spin to Flower Drum with his inked-up cronies for tequila shots and dim sum.

We were fascinated with the hairless cat lounging on his Versace-clad kingsize bed. Just like the one cuddled by Dr Evil in Austin Powers.

Mitchell with his menagerie. Instagram

Mitchell cat lives better than we do. Instagram

A DESIGNER BAG TO WIND UP SPRING CARNIVAL

AS the Melbourne Spring Carnival wound up on Stakes Day (and the TAB crashed down), we found ourselves missing the gossipy frivolity from Flemington.

But it didn’t take long for the lips of the chattering class to start chattering, and the Victorian Racing Club pursing, at the Instagram story to do the rounds that night.

Blowing off some steam post-carnival is par for the track for the fashionistas.

A stylish correspondent posted a series of pictures in the post-carnival mop up, getting the giddy up on.

Not one to normally put a Gucci leather loafer out of line, what they didn’t edit was the “designer bag”, an expensive accessory not normally photographed on display.

CANBERRA’S BUBBLE IS PRICKED

BAH humbug! Any thoughts of Canberra indulging in the usual Christmas festivities were deflated as the ABC pricked the Canberra bubble.

There won’t be too many eggnogs downed at Public Bar and definitely no kisses under the mistletoe.

The Four Corners report exposed a toxic and misogynistic culture in Canberra with rampant male trouser snake pollies told to keep it in their pants.

A political heavyweight says the ghosts of bonking past are haunting Parliament House corridors.

There is at least some sort of bipartisanship. It’s not just the Liberal Party squirming, Labor and the Greens are also zipping up.

This week it was eyebrows that were being raised when Greens leader Adam Bandt issued an explicit party bonk ban on all its MPs.

Malcolm Turnbull issued a bonk ban on ministers getting it on with their staffers after deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce was caught out.

The Greens bonk ban covers staffers from other MP’s offices, not just their own.

If Barnaby didn’t put them off bonking will anything?

It all comes down to semantics, as it always does in Canberra, but what exactly defines a relationship and what about staffers from different party offices?

A well oiled loophole up dubbed “warehousing” up in the political capital, has staff shuffled to different offices to get around the “bonk ban”.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison doesn’t want it called a “bonk ban.”

ScoMo was then called out by the New York Times for his “manterruption” the day after the Four Corners report. Scotty from marketing should have known better.

Families and Social Services Minister Anne Ruston was asked what it was like to be a woman in parliament and was the culture in Canberra better or worse since the bonk ban.

Before you could say ScoMo, the PM interrupted, primly asking the media to stop calling it a bonk ban.

Would “bonkus interruptus” be more socially acceptable?

As one journalist reported, the “manterruption,” (a word as wonderful as “mansplaining”) perfectly typified the government’s “women problem.”

Hump day takes on a whole new meaning in the nation’s capital.

Thanks to Barnaby’s red faced activities security guards have been deployed to guard the parliamentary offices lest they are used for extracurriculars while the Senate sits late into the night.

The couches are long and comfy one polly told us and they were not talking about taking a nap.

A desk has been used for a late night tryst and one couple are said to have bedded down on the Senate floor.

Canberra’s bubble has been pricked in the past. Labor deputy prime minister and treasurer Jim Cairns said he had “a kind of love” with staffer Junie Morosi.

Former Labor Foreign Minister Gareth Evans became involved with Democrats leader Cheryl Kernot.

The list goes on. Disgraced Labor figure Sam Dastyari said when asked about the bonk ban: “People would be amazed by just the sheer quantity of bonking that goes on.”

Cheryl Kernot said Parliament House was “a workplace, just like any other workplace.”

Public Bar got a lot of attention from the Four Corners report, which is understood to have been heavily edited and legalled.

One insider said things deteriorate after 11pm and “gallons of espresso martinis delivered don’t help on a Wednesday night once both houses adjourn.”

Does hump day turn into hump night?

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