Why UK singer Ellie Goulding wasn’t happy with her last album
UK singer Ellie Goulding has sold millions and topped charts all over the world. However not only has she disowned her last album, she admits she has impostor syndrome.
Music
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Ellie Goulding is nothing if not honest.
When she released her third album, 2015’s Delirium, she was coming in hot from a global No. 1 with Love Me Like You Do and her hit Calvin Harris collaboration Outside, plus earlier hits Light, Starry Eyed, Burn, Anything Could Happen and I Need Your Love.
Everything was aligned for the album to establish her an international pop superstar – Goulding worked with hit maker Max Martin on the album, as well as writing with top shelf US producers.
Delirium scored a few hits and mixed reviews, but five years down the track, and with the benefit of some isolation-prompted reflection, Goulding has distanced herself from the record.
“That album was not especially close to my heart,” Goulding says. “Which sounds awful, because you should never put out an album if it’s not close to your heart.”
Goulding admits she was caught up in the rush, blinded by the lights in LA.
“I was thinking about what my next step as pop singer had to be. I feel like I got a bit lost around that time. I wish I had acknowledged that time as something that comes with the territory, over 10 years being in the limelight you’re always going to have your ups and downs, times when you get lost and find yourself, I’m at peace with it now.”
Goulding toured Delirium heavily, and while she released a string of collaborations – singing on tracks by Diplo, Kygo, Sean Paul, Clean Bandit and Major Lazer – now she admits suffering writer’s block, especially when trying to tap back into the LA pop circuit.
The singer’s private life was on track – marrying art dealer Casper Jobling last year and throwing herself into charity work including becoming a United Nations ambassador.
Work on her fourth album started with Goulding chasing – and scoring – more major pop hits, releasing Close to Me (with Diplo and Swae Lee) in 2018 then Hate Me with late rapper Juice WRLD last year.
However Goulding decided she didn’t want her entire album to just pop bangers with feature guests. Her solution – fourth album Brightest Blue is laid out side one being personal songs more concerned with emotion than radio play and side two housing those pop collaborations including new single Slow Grenade with Lauv. “Side two is more like what I would do if I had full confidence in who I was, a bona fide pop star. I’ve been really open about the fact I can feel like I have impostor syndrome and can feel quite vulnerable.”
Goulding says she does enjoy her occasional moments of being a pop star. “That keeps me going. I love my own stuff but it is indulgent. I just get to write about my feelings, they’re not necessarily commercial songs. Side one are the songs that get played on the radio and you hear when you’re out. That’s the exciting side of what I do. Side two is more cathartic and something I just feel like I have to do for myself and it just so happens fans enjoy that side too. I didn’t want to strike a balance, I wanted to literally separate them.”
Side one includes collaborations with US indie acts serpentwithfeet and Patrick Wimberley of Chairlift, while single Power (which samples Dua Lipa) is close to her, even if it peaked at No. 86 in the UK.
“It’s quite a niche sound, I knew it might not get played on the radio but it’s become a bit of a cult song because so many people know it and discovered it through Shazam.” She filmed the video for Power on her own iPhone, unable to do the original clip she’d planned because of lockdown.
“It was liberating to be walking around in stockings and underwear, stuff I’d never actually realistically wear, I wear pyjamas.”
Goulding’s honest policy means sees her freely admit that whenever she posts something about climate change, another issue close to her heart, she loses 10,000 followers.
However she intends to continue use her platform to highlight the cause.
“It’s depressing we still live in a world where people are very fearful of the truth,” Goulding says.
“I’ve come to realise that it’s all how you word things. It’s not just about ‘By the way we’re all going to die because the planet is heating up and there’s nothing we can do about it and we’re not doing anything to prevent it’. You can’t say that, as much as it is kind of true, I have to say it in a way that rallies people in a positive way rather than making them afraid.
“I know people say they don’t want to hear the news because it depresses them. We have a responsibility to our family and our children. If you are outraged and upset about something then do something about it, get involved, write to your local politician, involve yourself in the protests. I don’t like it when people say ‘I don’t want to hear that’. Unless it really triggers your mental health I think people need to be really responsible at the moment.”
She’s also outraged by the idea that famous people shouldn’t air their political views.
“Everyone is political. As long as you pay tax and take advantage of health services, everything in your life is affected by politics, you just can’t say you don’t care about politics or it doesn’t affect you. It makes no sense. I’m not a celebrity talking politics, I’m a human being on this planet talking politics, it’s nothing to do with my fame, I’d still be doing it if I had 10 followers.”
While Goulding’s touring for Brightest Blue has been pushed to 2021, she intends to talk the talk.
“We’re trying to make the tour very green, travelling by train, zero plastic, a much smaller staging set up. I’m excited to see how that works. “I just have to see how that works touring somewhere like Australia. There may be a plan of stopping on the way, trying not to fly internally in Oz. I think it’s doable, it just might not be that pleasant. I’m willing to take that risk.”
Brightest Blue is out now