Your Night In: Every movie on TV tonight rated or slated
If you’ve watched Harry Potter the past two weeks settle in for movie number three tonight. But if the blockbuster wizard boy isn’t your flavour, you’ve got an Arnie army flick or the Warcraft movie makeover to pique your interest.
Leigh Paatsch
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HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (M)
****1/2
7.30pm 7MATE
For anyone who isn’t counting, Harry is now in his third year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Everyone is rattled by word on the Hogwarts grapevine of the first-ever escape from the wizard world’s notorious Azkaban Prison. The fugitive is one Sirius Black (Gary Oldman), a rogue magic man blamed for delivering Harry’s late parents to the evil Lord Voldemort. Worse still, Professor Dumbledore (Michael Gambon in place of the late Richard Harris) fears Sirius has Harry squarely in his sights. While there are moments that will leave viewers high on the sheer wonder of what is happening – such as Harry’s first ride atop a Hippogriff, and a Quidditch match played in a force-ten squall – the movie is grounded by the severity of what ultimately awaits the bespectacled hero in the closing act.
WARCRAFT: THE BEGINNING (M)
*
7.30PM GO!
As home to one of the biggest multiplayer online role-playing games of all-time, the Warcraft universe patiently waited its turn at a movie makeover for several years. Perhaps it should have kept right on waiting. If you are not wondering what the hell is happening, you’ll be asking yourself why the heck you’re still watching. The torpid plotting (involving fantasy-figure humans doing battle with alternate-dimension warrior monsters) appears to have absent-mindedly mapped out by someone who once watched a whole season of Game of Thrones. Through a set of binoculars. On a neighbour’s telly. Warcraft devotees who feel compelled to attend should play the role of someone recovering from a lobotomy.
COMMANDO (MA15+)
**1/2
10.20pm 7MATE
They kidnapped Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter. Now they’re gonna pay. That’s about all you need to know about this boilerplate bang-’em-up, the type of which Arnie churned out at a rapid-fire pace while en route to the big time in the 1980s. Has one of his better character names, by the way: John Matrix.
PRIDE (M)
***
7.30pm WORLD MOVIES
The British film industry has a proud tradition of cranking out winning feel-good fare that is both socially aware and emotionally astute. Though Pride will never be mentioned in the same breath as The Full Monty and Billy Elliot, it stands as a worthy addition to the canon. The year is 1984, and with Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher hounding her nation’s mining workforce to the brink of extinction, the lads down the pits could use some support. In one small town in Wales, solidarity arrives in the unlikely form of a colour bunch of gay activists from London. While you can spot the coming culture clashes from the moon, you won’t notice this funny, vibrant affair sneaking its way into your affections with ease. Stars Paddy Considine, Dominic West, Bill Nighy, Imelda Staunton.
ORCHESTRA CLASS (PG)
***
9.45pm WORLD MOVIES
A lovely French family -oriented film about the healing power of making music. The plot centres on Simon Simon, a distinguished violinist at a low point in his life and career. He winds up teaching a 6th-grade orchestra class at a drab middle school, which will help him rediscover the joy of music. Predictable? Yes. Pleasing? Definitely.
THREE MOVIES TO STREAM OR RENT TO GET YOU THROUGH THE EVENING
JERRY SEINFELD: 23 HOURS TO KILL (M)
***
NETFLIX
At this late stage of his career, no-one would be advancing the theory that Jerry Seinfeld’s stand-up comedy is continuing to evolve in new and surprising ways. He’s in strong enough form for his latest live special for Netflix to justify the look-see, even if there are periods where the big laughs are a little more spaced apart than we have come to expect. Though Seinfeld can get a bit too whiny about the perils of being rich, famous, married, white and in your sixties, his powers of observation regarding the absurdities of everyday living are undiminished. Running time wisely keeps everything tidily inside an hour.
BOMBSHELL (M)
***
RENT VIA FOXTEL STORE, GOOGLE, ITUNES, YOUTUBE MOVIES
An interesting drama covering the controversial downfall of former Fox News chief Roger Ailes (John Lithgow). It is important to note Bombshell is not an Ailes biopic. We’ve already had one of those (an acclaimed miniseries The Loudest Voice, starring Russell Crowe). Instead, the movie keeps its focus on three women whose linked experiences working for Ailes traced a fault line that would crack open #MeToo into a fully-fledged movement. Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman) was the first to dare take on Ailes in the middle of last decade, when the news chief’s reputation was at its most daunting. Destined to join Carlson on her earth-scorching crusade against sexual harassment are fellow broadcaster and rising network star Megyn Kelly (Charlize Theron), and ambitious production back-roomer Kayla Pospisil (Margot Robbie).
KNIVES OUT (M)
****
rent via FOXTEL STORE, GOOGLE, ITUNES, YOUTUBE MOVIES
A sleeper-hit box-office phenom at the end of 2019, Knives Out is cracking murder mystery rife with loose ends, dead ends and one heck of an unseemly end. That comes at the start of this dynamically entertaining affair, when celebrated author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) – famous for his murder mysteries, not uncoincidentally – is found deceased in his study, seeming by his own hand. No-one has the inside track on what may have happened save for the late scribe’s nurse (Ana de Armas), and she can barely make herself heard above the ruckus of Thrombey’s not-so-grieving family. The show is comprehensively stolen – and never once returned – by a wired, inspired and kookily amusing Daniel Craig. He plays Benoit Blanc, an unorthodox private detective from the deep south who knows all the answers from the get-go, but remains unsure of the question until the closing scenes. Don’t believe a word anyone says, but be assured a very good time awaits you here. A superb ensemble cast includes Chris Evans, Jamie Lee Curtis, Toni Collette and Don Johnson. Directed by Rian Johnson (Looper).
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