Your Night In: Every movie on TV tonight rated or slated
Viewers are spoiled for choice with not one but two deliriously silly Leslie Nielsen comedy classics on the box tonight, while on the other end of the spectrum, a spine-tinglingly tense Liam Neeson thriller is also on offer.
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TAKEN (MA15+)
***
9:00 PM CH. 7
Liam Neeson carries on like Jason Bourne’s cranky uncle in this pulpy French-produced revenge pic. The star plays a retired US spy who returns to active duty when his daughter is kidnapped by Albanian slave traders in Paris. The film is very much an old-school, they’ve-messed-with-the-wrong-guy-and-now-they’re-gonna-pay affair, and all the better for it. Often bone-crackingly, flesh-rippingly violent, but no amount of excess detracts from this junky thriller’s jagged appeal. Co-stars Maggie Grace.
THE NAKED GUN (M)
***1/2
8:30 PM 7FLIX
First seen in the highly influential (and at six episodes, unjustly short-lived) TV series Police Squad!, Leslie Nielsen’s Lieutenant Frank Drebin remains one of the classic creations of modern comedy. Keeping a straight face during the most ridiculous of scenes is only half the achievement for the veteran Canadian actor – Nielsen has us completely believing he really is that stupid. As scripted by the writing team that gave the world Flying High and Top Secret, the deliciously dumb jokes just don’t let up until that ridiculous, Frank-saves-the-Queen finale.
THE NAKED GUN 2½: THE SMELL OF FEAR
**1/2
10:15 PM 7FLIX
The plot of this so-so second instalment syncs vaguely to an environmental-destruction theme, but of course Frank Drebin is capable of far more damage to the ozone layer just by being himself.
BATTLE: LOS ANGELES (M)
**
7:30pm GO!
Aliens have invaded Earth. Every major city on the planet has capitulated. With a sole exception. The extraterrestrial aggressors are finding Los Angeles a tricky place to take over. And Uncle Sam’s best Marines are leading the resistance. Not out to wow anyone on the authenticity front, this hyperactive action flick is really just a controlled blast of mayhem. Effective enough as it happens, but won’t blow anyone away on a lasting basis once the lights go up. Never boring. More than a bit bewildering. Stars Aaron Eckhart.
THE MERCY (M)
***1/2
7.35pm WORLD MOVIES
In 1968, British yachting enthusiast Donald Crowhurst entered the Sunday Times Golden Globe Race. A little over a year later, Crowhurst disappeared off the face of the earth, never to be seen again. What exactly happened out there on the water has been pieced together over the years from logs left behind on Crowhurst’s vessel, which was found floating intact several thousand kilometres away from his perceived position in the race. If you are unaware of the strange and troubling facts surrounding the Donald Crowhurst affair, do try and keep it that way until you have seen The Mercy. Though this eerie, unsettling biopic does go about its saddening, maddening business effectively enough for those familiar with the finer points of the story, the movie swells in sorrowful magnitude when viewed without knowing what lies ahead. A superb Colin Firth plays Crowhurst with an initially modest, then incrementally worrying presence that stays with you well after the end credits start rolling. Co-stars Rachel Weisz.
KON-TIKI (M)
***
9.30pm WORLD MOVIES
True stories do not come much more remarkable than that of the late Norwegian adventurer Thor Heyerdahl. On a raft made from balsa wood, Heyerdahl sailed all the way from Peru to Polynesia in 1947. His support crew of five had little-to-no maritime experience. Heyerdahl himself could not swim. This polite, stony-faced dramatisation of the voyage is pretty much Life of Pi without the stowaway tiger or the groovy 3D visuals, but with the same amount of sharks and storms. Heyerdahl (played by Pal Sverre Hagen) is, quite rightly, the only character capable of resonating with viewers here. He comes across as both a slightly-mad idealist, and a media-savvy self-promoter (his idea of taking a cameraman along for the ride resulted in an amazing Oscar-winning documentary).
Three movie picks for streaming or rental to get you through the evening
KNIVES OUT (M)
****
BINGE, FOXTEL, AMAZON
A sleeper-hit box-office phenom at the end of 2019, Knives Out is cracking murder mystery rife with loose ends, dead ends and one heck of an unseemly end. That comes at the start of this dynamically entertaining affair, when celebrated author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) – famous for his murder mysteries, not uncoincidentally – is found deceased in his study, seeming by his own hand. No-one has the inside track on what may have happened save for the late scribe’s nurse (Ana de Armas), and she can barely make herself heard above the ruckus of Thrombey’s not-so-grieving family. The show is comprehensively stolen – and never once returned – by a wired, inspired and kookily amusing Daniel Craig. He plays Benoit Blanc, an unorthodox private detective from the deep south who knows all the answers from the get-go, but remains unsure of the question until the closing scenes. Don’t believe a word anyone says, but be assured a very good time awaits you here. A superb ensemble cast includes Chris Evans, Jamie Lee Curtis, Toni Collette and Don Johnson. Directed by Rian Johnson (Looper).
WAYNE (M)
***
Rent via FOXTEL STORE, GOOGLE, APPLE TV, YOUTUBE
This enjoyable documentary on pioneering Australian motorcycle racing ace Wayne Gardner is not exactly a classic of the form, but remains a fitting tribute to a bloke who rode as fast as he bloody well could, and had a blast while doing so. What the doco does very well is chart the immense distance – both literally and metaphorically – Gardner had to traverse to become the first Australian to win the coveted 500cc World Championship. A Wollongong boy through and through, Gardner first connected with his need for speed as a teenager, after buying a rundown ride for five bucks at the local wreckers. Inside a decade later, Gardner had slowly ascended through the ranks – cheating death, courting luck and flouting convention along the way – to become top dog in one of the most dangerous competitive sports on the planet. Especially in the mid-1980s, where on-track safety and off-track lifestyle choices were not, ahem, quite as evolved as they are today.
INSTANT FAMILY (PG)
***
FOXTEL, AMAZON
First impressions here point to an amiable, if ineffectual middle-of-the-road comedy. Nothing wrong with that. If you’re in the mood, a second, slightly serious movie also sneaks in here through a side door, and makes itself perfectly comfortable inside your head without you ever really noticing. This is the (based on a true) story of Pete (Mark Wahlberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne), two busy house flippers who are beginning to regret they never made the time to have children when they had the chance. After learning a little about the number of children abandoned by their parents each year, the couple dive big-time into a new life as foster care providers by taking on three sparky siblings at once. Overall, Instant Family offers an open, inviting and illuminating window into the foster care process. Not just from the perspective of rookie foster parents, but also from that of children who unfortunately can call themselves veterans of the system. Co-stars Isabela Moner, Octavia Spencer.