Your night in: Every movie on Melbourne TV tonight rated
Find your spot on the couch and step back into 480BC’s legendary Battle of Thermopylae or experience a life lived in reverse. There’s plenty of great entertainment on TV tonight. Here’s what you should be watching.
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300
***
8:30pm 7MATE
File this away as a maverick makeover for the standard Hollywood epic. The swords, sandals and severed arteries are in plentiful supply. But so too is a reckless determination to map out a wild new world of filmmaking. In a hyper-stylised restaging of 480BC’s legendary Battle of Thermopylae, we witness 300 tanned, toned and strapping Spartan fighters taking on a Persian invading force of more than 100,000. Very violent, but rich in atmosphere and amazing visuals. Just the one word of warning: do not watch this film if allergic to repeated sightings of men with corrugated-iron abs and drivers-airbag breasts. Stars Gerard Butler, David Wenham.
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
****
8:30 PM 7FLIX
Everything old gets literally younger by the day for the title character in this remarkable new drama based on a story by the celebrated American author F. Scott Fitzgerald. While performances are exemplary and the use of make-up and special effects technology is often astonishing, the most memorable characteristic of The Curious Case is undoubtedly its bizarre plot. Brad Pitt (in career-best form) plays a man born in 1918 with a mystical disorder that sees him ageing backwards throughout his life. This strange premise (and a hefty running time) demands a huge leap of faith from viewers. For those up to making the jump, a moving and rather mind-bending experience awaits. Co-stars Cate Blanchett, Jason Flemyng, Julia Ormond. Directed by David Fincher (Se7en, Zodiac, Fight Club).
LONDON HAS FALLEN
***
9:20 PM CH. 9
A plain-wrapped, blood-soaked guilty pleasure from beginning to end, this sequel to the unlikely 2013 action hit Olympus Has Fallen delivers exactly what its target audience wants. Flagrantly macho, flamboyantly stupid and yet somehow consistently entertaining, London Has Fallen charts the ongoing alpha-male adventures of Secret Service agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler). Though Mike and his missus (Radha Mitchell) are expecting their first child, don’t go assuming this screw-loose protector of the US President (Aaron Eckhart) has tightened up his act in the years he’s been away. Nope, once he joins the Prez on a terrorist-riddled state visit to Great Britain, Banning proves to be as crabby and stabby as he ever was.
K – 19: THE WIDOWMAKER
***
7:30 PM GO!
Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson grapple with some ill-fitting Russian accents in this true story of courage, catastrophe and a core meltdown aboard a malfunctioning nuclear sub at the height of the Cold War. Director Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) does a competent job of creating the same sense of creepy claustrophobia that made classic sub actioners like Das Boot, Crimson Tide and The Hunt For Red October so memorable. Gets a bit messy once that pesky reactor springs a leak, though.
ESCAPE FROM L.A.
**1/2
10:10 PM GO!
A slightly underwhelming sequel to the great Escape from New York. But not without its cheesy only-in-the-1990s charm. Kurt Russell reprises his role as eye-patched antihero Snake Plissken, seconded by the US government to recover a potential doomsday device set to blow the West Coast to smithereens. Not exactly helping Snake’s cause: Los Angeles is now an autonomous island whose only function is to act as a free-range penal colony.
FAR & AWAY
**1/2
7:30 PM WORLD MOVIES
A period-era romantic drama dating back to the early days of the fabled real-life union of stars Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Tommy is Joseph, the poor Irish boy who woos a woman way out of his league. That would be Shannon (Kidman). They wind up wandering about America, hoping to forge a life on the frontier until they are sidetracked by a shortage of funds and an oversupply of bad luck. Not a bad movie in spite of its corny premise, but frustratingly slow by today’s standards.
FEMALE AGENTS
**1/2
10:05 PM WORLD MOVIES
This lively pile of posh tosh is that rarest of screen commodities: a chick flick with machine guns. On the eve of the fateful D-Day landing in 1944, an French freedom fighter (Sophie Marceau) leads an all-women strike force on a mission to hit the Nazis where it hurts. An old-fashioned, anything-goes action movie, camouflaged by some plush European arthouse production values and some ladies who look good with weapons.
THREE MOVIE PICKS FOR STREAMING OR RENTAL
BOOKSMART (MA15+)
****1/2
STREAM VIA FOXTEL; OR RENT VIA GOOGLE, APPLE TV, YOUTUBE MOVIES
This was clearly one of the best films released in 2019, an achievement magnified by both the fact it stars a cast of relative unknowns, and how the movie draws refreshing new energy from a seemingly tired premise. This is the story of Molly (Beanie Feldstein) and Amy (Kaitlyn Dever), highly intelligent and socially awkward BFFs who could be about to end their secondary education as the most sheltered shut-ins of their generation. Unless they decide to go out for the first time on their last night of high school (which they do) and find the big party everyone else is at (which they can’t). There is real wit, sly creativity and unbridled vitality pulsing from every scene here. Highly recommended.
FINKE: THERE & BACK (M)
***
STREAM VIA FOXTEL; OR RENT VIA GOOGLE, APPLE TV, YOUTUBE MOVIES
This quality motorsport doco missed its shot at a deserved wider audience when released haphazardly into cinemas a while back. Those with a preference for tearin’ it up on wheels of any number should get on to this one right away. The subject is the legendary Finke Desert Race, the biggest off-road motorsport event in the southern hemisphere. Over two days, a multitude of bikes, cars, buggies and quads ramble across the desert from Alice Springs to the tiny outback hamlet of Aputula. Filmed over three years. Good stuff.
THIS IS SPINAL TAP (M)
*****
BINGE, FOXTEL
Now rightly recognised as one of the great movie comedies of the modern era, the gut-bustlingly funny rockumentary This is Spinal Tap makes a welcome return to streaming after a prolonged absence. The storyline is immediately understood by anyone with a passing knowledge of rock music, or even the most basic air-guitar skills. Spinal Tap are former 70s noise-niks who just won’t go away, despite the ever-increasing selectivity of their popularity. Doco director Marty DiBergi (Rob Reiner) joins brain-addled Brits David St Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) and their eclectic entourage as they try and finish the live tour that will cement their position at the bottom of the charts. Classic Tap cuts on the soundtrack include Sex Farm and Big Bottom.