X-Men: Dark Phoenix a film franchise falling apart before your eyes

X-Men: Dark Phoenix was supposed to be a celebratory sayonara, but instead it is one big pile of filler, with grim professionalism by actors with contracts to complete, cheques to cash and consciences to repair.

“You’re always sorry and there’s always a speech. But nobody cares anymore.”

If ever two lines of loaded dialogue summed up a film franchise falling apart before you, it is these from one of many throwaway scenes in X-Men: Dark Phoenix.

This movie can do little more than emit one apologetic shrug after another. Yes, there are speeches. A lot of them. And you will not care a jot.

Here is the exact moment the X-Men became the X-Pired.

Sophie Turner tanks it turgidly in the foreground as a young Jean Grey.

To be fair, it is on record that Dark Phoenix was made under extreme duress from its parent studio.

This badly broken twelfth instalment was supposed to be a celebratory sayonara for the cabal of characters originally brought in to inject some younger blood into the franchise (a phase that began with 2011’s X-Men: First Class).

Instead, what is dumped on screen is one big pile of filler, dispersed with grim professionalism by actors with contracts to complete, cheques to cash and consciences to repair.

Sophie Turner (Game of Thrones) tanks it turgidly in the foreground as a young Jean Grey in the 1990s. Those doing the same in the background include Jennifer Lawrence, James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender.

Jennifer Lawrence returns along with Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy. Picture: AP

Jessica Chastain plays some kind of interplanetary villainess. Picture: AP

Later on, Jessica Chastain shows up and throws some shapes that hint very vaguely she is some kind of interplanetary villainess included only to add some heat to Jean’s lukewarm origin story.

To be fair, it is on record that Dark Phoenix was made under extreme duress from its parent studio, which halved initial plans for a two-part saga, then audience-tested what was left into a thick soup of impenetrable twists and wonky special effects.

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X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX (M)

Director: Simon Kinberg (feature debut)

Starring: Sophie Turner, James McAvoy, Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender, Jessica Chastain.

Rating: *

Nothing will rise from these ashes