Review: The Angry Birds movie is ‘a dud’, requires ‘not one brain cell’

REVIEW: The Angry Birds movie is complete ‘dud’ and requires ‘not one brain cell’ despite an impressive list of Hollywood stars lending their voices.

The Angry Birds Movie (PG)

Directors: Fergal Reilly, Clay Kaytis.

Starring: the voices of Jason Sudeikis, Josh Gad, Danny McBride, Peter Dinklage, Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Sean Penn.

Rating: *1/2

App-salutely not.

There was a year or so there when it seemed like the whole world was playing Angry Birds. But that was about five years (or three iPhone models) ago.

So now that its moment as a pop-culture phenomenon is over, a big-screen version of the once-omnipresent app stands little chance of starting another viral sensation.

Which means they must be poopin’ their pants over at Rovio Games, the Finland-based developers of all things Angry Birds.

According to an LA Times report this week, the company paid for the $100 million production budget out of their own coffers (never a bright move, even if you’ve got the hottest property on your hands). What’s more, Rovio has also chipped in more dough for an astonishing $400-million-plus global marketing spend.

Red (voiced by Horrible Bosses star Jason Sudeikis) in a scene from The Angry Birds Movie. Picture: Supplied

You want fries, a soda and a T-shirt with that ticket? You’d better.

Won’t be much of a shock to anyone to find out The Angry Birds Movie is a dud.

Whereas you only needed a single finger to play the game, not one brain cell is required to process this busy, fizzy, empty-calorie calamity.

The whole experience is like watching a garish parade float moving through peak-hour traffic. You kind of feel sorry for all aboard. Until you realise how much room it is taking up, and how much time it is wasting.

Need a plot synopsis? You need to get out more.

Chuck (voiced by Josh Gad), Red (Jason Sudeikis) and Bomb (Danny McBride) look cute but fail to bring the laughs in The Angry Birds Movie. Picture: Supplied

Grouchy, garrulous avians are gonna be fired willy-nilly at various villainous green pigs. That’s just enough material for a winning 2-minute trailer. That’s if you haven’t seen a trailer since, say, Angry Birds was all the buzz.

The other wincing 95 minutes on offer here? Get set to get hit by a rolling, rainbow-coloured snot-ball of lame jokes and laboured voice performances from cashing-in comedians. (And Peter Dinklage and Sean Penn, who are not comedians, but can smell an easy payday from several continents away.)

A special Ph.D. in dip-stickery must go to Jason Sudeikis, who in the space of the fortnight has given the world a triumphant, two-fingered box-office salute with lead roles in The Angry Birds Movie and Mother’s Day.