Review: Back of the Net a nil-all snore best avoided

The pop-cultural references in Back of the Net sound like the (un)educated guesses of adults not really down with the kids, and the soccer components seem to have been handled by someone who may have once watched Bend It Like Beckham, but probably fell asleep a few minutes in.

An unrelentingly dull and joyless movie, Back of the Net blends trace elements of athleticism, academia and adolescent romance into a confection so thin and flavour-free, it dissolves immediately on impact.

Disney TV regular Sofia Wylie plays Cory, an ambitious American science student who finds herself accidentally enrolled at an Australian youth soccer academy.

While it is always pleasing to see a locally-made film for the tween-age market get a run in cinemas, it is disappointing to see one as flat, forced and lifeless as this.

Sofia Wylie stars in Back of the Net.

This locally-made movie is tailored to a US audience that won’t give it the time of day.

Remember last year’s Aussie sports dud Going for Gold? Back of the Net isn’t much better.

Woefully inert writing, direction and performances all pander to an American audience that won’t be giving this substandard production the time of day.

Many of the topical pop-cultural references name-checked in dialogue exchanges sound years behind the times, all too obviously the (un)educated guesses of adults not really down with what kids are into these days.

As for the soccer component of the picture, it appears to have been handled by someone who may have once watched Bend It Like Beckham, but probably fell asleep a few minutes in.

Only young ladies familiar with Wylie’s work — and that is something of a longshot prospect at best, as she ain’t that big a name — may find something salvageable here. Avoid.

BACK OF THE NET (G)

Rating: One and a half stars (1.5 out of 5)

Director: Louise Alston (All My Friends Are Leaving Brisbane)

Starring: Sofia Wylie, Trae Robin, Kate Box, Tiarnie Coupland.

A nil-all snore

For all things movies follow Leigh on TWITTER: @leighpaatsch