Leigh Paatsch: Mega free-to-air weekend movie guide
Comedy, superheroes, drama, musicals and romance ... the small screen has it all over the coming nights. Leigh Paatsch rates — and slates — what’s on offer on free-to-air TV for the long weekend.
Entertainment
Don't miss out on the headlines from Entertainment. Followed categories will be added to My News.
FRIDAY
THE GREATEST SHOWMAN
***
8:30 PM 7FLIX
Hugh Jackman sings! Hugh Jackman dances! Hugh Jackman wears a top hat, tails, and exclaims ‘Huzzah!’ You’re not in La La Land anymore, people: this is a weapons-grade musical of the old school, loaded to its high-spirited hilt with forced smiles and willful warbling. Those prepared to accept the open invitation to “step right up” will be rewarded with the glitzy, spritzy good time they were hoping for. In a true-ish tale of the formative days of the American circus, Jackman embraces the lead role of famous 1800s showbiz impresario P.T. Barnum with such an enthusiastic bear hug that resistance is pretty much not an option.
THE DESCENDANTS
****1/2
10:40 PM 7FLIX
Another superlative anchoring performance from George Clooney. Another intricate blend of evocative drama and winning humour from writer-director Alexander Payne (Sideways, About Schmidt). It’s all here in The Descendants, as is so much more. Clooney plays Matt King, an Hawaiian property lawyer thrown for a loop on the eve of a deal of a lifetime. With his wife in a coma after a boating mishap, Matt must re- connect with his two daughters, each of whom respect him little and know him even less. The film covers a wide spectrum of emotions in a warm and relatable manner, and not a false note is struck throughout. Co-stars Shailene Woodley, Amara Miller.
AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
***1/2
8:30 PM CH. 7
This blockbuster Marvel sequel Age of Ultron falls slightly short of the first Avengers in every department. While it couldn’t be labelled a disappointment, this sprawling action epic marks a distinct downgrade from the high standards set by the initial instalment. The story centres on a new enemy named Ultron, a mechanised villain powered by an artificial intelligence that reasons mankind should be wiped from the planet. The fact that Ultron is a computer-rendered bad-guy does undercut the intended impact here. In most battle sequences, you could be forgiven for thinking you’re watching a preview of the next Transformers movie. Therefore the scenes where iconic Marvel superheroes such as Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) dominate must be cherished. Co-stars Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo.
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
***
6:30 PM 7MATE
The long-awaited big-screen version of the classic TV animated comedy got off to a cracking start before tapering down to little more than a couple of OK episodes all strung together. Plenty of the usual zinging gags and satirically astute pop-cultural references, but spaced further apart than you might think. Fans will absolutely love it. The undecided will remain that way. Stars the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Hank Azaria.
DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG MOVIE
***1/2
8:10 PM 7MATE
There’s more going on here than just blows to the crotch and crass one-liners. While a laidback Vince Vaughn leads a motley bunch of losers through a bizarre sports tournament in Las Vegas, Ben Stiller makes off with a truckload of laughs as a sleazy fitness guru. Resoundingly ridiculous, but highly quotable, too.
A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST
**1/2
10:10 PM 7MATE
After creating a monster comedy hit from behind the scenes for 2012’s Ted, Seth MacFarlane steps before the cameras for his feature acting debut. Unfortunately, the prolific creator of TV’s Family Guy doesn’t really have the performing smarts to anchor a near-two-hour movie. Nevertheless, there are just enough clever, cracking laughs to be found in this tale of a cowardly sheep farmer in the wild west to earn it a pass mark. A steady stream of surreally short celeb cameos (don’t look up IMDb beforehand!) and a reputable support cast (Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried) are major pluses. Badly misfired gags at the expense of women and ethnic minorities are major minuses. Par for the course when MacFarlane is at the helm.
THE MECHANIC
**1/2
10:30 PM CHANNEL 9
A sort-of-remake of a sort-of-OK Charles Bronson pic from the 70s. Jason Statham plays Arthur Bishop, considered the best hitman in the business. Because no-one knows he is in the business. After reluctantly following orders to terminate an elderly fellow employee (Donald Sutherland), Arthur somehow finds himself mentoring the old coot’s son (Ben Foster) in the ways of the whack. There is a bit of fizz between Statham and Foster that saves the copious weapon-and-whuppin’ stuff from getting too generic.
THE CORE
***
8:40 PM GEM
A likeably loopy disaster pic. The Earth’s core has stopped spinning, and a ragtag bunch of scientists, astronauts and others hangers-on must journey deep into the planet’s crust to save us all. I kid you not: the protagonists undertake their subterranean mercy dash by piloting a spaceship-sized laser digger made from a rare substance the film calls Unobtainium. Ferociously foolish, highly entertaining fact-free fun. Stars Aaron Eckhart and Hilary Swank.
THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER’S WAR (M)
*1/2
7.30pm GO!
It’s a prequel, it’s a sequel, and it’s in no way equal to the movie that came before. That movie was Snow White and the Huntsman, a surprisingly worthwhile fairytale action-adventure hit from 2012. This movie benches Ms. White, and subs a few new feisty female players into a dull and uninspired game. Emily Blunt stars as Freya, an irritable queen with a grudge against happy loving couples. This is bad news for Sara (Jessica Chastain), Freya’s top woman warrior. She’s been secretly hooking up with that hunk of he-man hotness The Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) for many years. The only love that Hemsworth and Chastain’s chemistry-free pairing suggests is a shared affection for shonky Scottish accents. Co-stars Charlize Theron.
JUMPER
*1/2
9:45 PM GO!
This lead-weighted action flick soon crashes to the ground once you realise its gimmick (a young playboy can teleport himself anywhere on the planet at will) just won’t fly. The acting and script are bad enough, but the all-important special-effects are even worse. Stars Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson.
CAPTAIN FANTASTIC
****
7:30 PM WORLD MOVIES
An uncannily focused drama-comedy introduces you to a family who puts the cult in counter-culture. The window through which you will see this unusual clan is a magnificent, nuanced performance from Viggo Mortensen. He plays Ben Cash, the father of six very individual children he is raising, schooling and simply running wild with, deep in the forests of America’s Pacific northwest. The Cashes don’t just live off the grid. They may as well be living on another planet. The one missing link in this captivating tale is the whereabouts of Ben’s wife. Without giving too much away, it is her absence that triggers an unplanned return by Ben and his brood to conventional society.
AMERICAN GANGSTER
****
9:40 PM WORLD MOVIES
Despite the singular title, this epic crime pic has two distinct stories (based on real events) to tell. The first concerns a ruthless New York drug lord (Denzel Washington) who manipulated US involvement in the Vietnam War into a perfect heroin-smuggling operation. The second involves the troubled police detective (Russell Crowe) destined to bring the crook to justice. Builds into an unlikely, yet gripping morality tale thanks to stirring performances from the two leads.
SATURDAY
FAT PIZZA
**1/2
8:45 PM 7MATE
A consistent characteristic of the Fat Pizza TV show was its inability to keep it together for a full episode. Fat Pizza: The Movie suffers from the same affliction, running out of steam just before it hits the one-hour mark. Nevertheless, those first 55 minutes work quite well. Paul Fenech is actually quite a gifted director, and he carves up Fat Pizza’s best ingredients — dumb Aussie blokes, crap Aussie celebrities and a truckload of puerile pop-culture references — with the disrespect they deserve.
DAVE
***1/2
9:15 PM 7FLIX
Downright unusual as a Hollywood comedy, in that it really doesn’t care if you break out into chuckles or not. The central premise of an ordinary schmo (Kevin Kline) being thrust into the hottest seat in the White House is a thoroughly implausible one, but director Ivan Reitman wisely compensates by pitching the tale in a gently understated manner. Kline’s performance in the title role is a winning one, taking its cues from the naïve, all-American grace of the great Jimmy Stewart’s work for Frank Capra in the 1940s.
KINKY BOOTS
**1/2
7:30 PM CH. 9
A black drag queen sashays to the rescue of an ailing shoe factory with her discovery of a new niche market for burly cross-dressers. Passable British comedy with some nice laughs here and there. Nothing sensational, but hardly puts a foot wrong.
THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT
****
9:40 PM CH. 9
They don’t make cross-dressing road movies like this anymore. Come to think of it, they never, ever did. This underrated, over-the-top comic gem is all about the sniping verbal interplay between three very different Sydney drag queens. The incongruous outback setting consummately seals a crowd-pleasing deal. Stars Guy Pearce, Hugo Weaving, Terence Stamp.
THE FIRST WIVES CLUB
***
7:00 PM GEM
Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn and Diane Keaton are a trio of old (and recently divorced) college friends who reunite to hit their former husbands exactly where it hurts - in the wallet. A surprise box-office smash when first released, this fast-paced revenge farce still stands up very well in its umpteenth repeat on TV. You’ve just got to love Hawn’s instructions to her plastic surgeon for her new lips : “I want Tina Turner!!! I want Mick Jagger!!! Fill ‘em up!!!”
22 JUMP STREET
***1/2
8:50 PM GO!
If 21 Jump Street was the smartest dumb movie of the millennium so far, then 22 Jump Street is the cleverest sequel to a dumb movie of all time. OK, so it didn’t really have to beat much in that category (Hot Shots! Part Deux, anyone?). Nevertheless, it’s the thought - or lack thereof - that counts. Stars Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill have already proved they share a rare comedic connection, and they’re in cracking form as the mismatched cops Jenko and Schmidt (now recipients of an undercover upgrade from high- school to college). The movie doesn’t deny it’s a craven cash-in : in fact, many of the best jokes point out that very fact. Co-stars Ice Cube, Nick Offerman.
WEDDING CRASHERS
**1/2
8:30 PM 10 SHAKE
Two single divorce lawyers (Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn) with the wacky weekend hobby of sneaking into weddings to meet willing women are swept off their feet by the daughters (Rachel McAdams and Isla Fisher) of a powerful politician. Enjoyable comedy that opens very strongly before losing momentum in a dragging second half.
BABEL
****
9:30 PM SBS
A deep, meaningful and deceptively affecting human drama, taking seemingly random events on several continents and linking them in many magical and revealing ways. The multi-episodic narrative kicks off on the mountain plains of Morocco, where a single gunshot will reverberate right around the world. Tough going, but highly rewarding. Stars Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett.
SPOTLIGHT
****1/2
8:30 PM WORLD MOVIES
Both a cry from the heart for victims of sexual abuse and a vivid reminder of the fading art of investigative journalism. Superbly acted and scripted, this powerful factual drama tells the true story of The Boston Globe’s 2002 Pulitzer Prize- winning expose of systematic molestation of the young by Catholic priests. The end result was a series of revelations which shocked America, and also changed the public perception of the Catholic Church. Many of the Globe’s key findings have since been echoed in disturbingly similar scenarios all over the world, including right here in Australia. One of the key factors that raises Spotlight to such a rare level is that director Tom McCarthy never lets us forget who the real heroes are here. It is not the Globe journalists. It is those victims who kept telling their stories repeatedly for many years, in the hope that someone one day might listen, believe and act upon their words. Stars Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Mark Ruffalo.
SUNDAY
A STAR IS BORN
*****
8:10 PM CH. 7
This spectacularly alive, astute and absorbing modern rendition of the classic Hollywood melodrama A Star is Born is one of the great all-round movie experiences of the past decade. This is no mere modern cover version humming the same old tune. Making a brilliant debut as director, Bradley Cooper has rearranged a well- known melody into a fresh, exciting and moving new composition. There is one voice above all else emitting a sound so sweet, sorrowful and soulful that resistance is all but impossible. It is that of famous pop diva Lady Gaga, making an astonishing feature lead acting debut in the role of Ally, an aspiring singer-songwriter who catches the ear and heart of a troubled roots rock musician (Cooper again). While Gaga’s uncharacteristically raw musical performances here are first class, her dramatic performance is just as impressive. The first-timer exudes a natural warmth and unforced emotional authenticity that would be beyond the grasp of most seasoned pros. A resolute triumph in all departments.
LETHAL WEAPON 2
***1/2
8:30 PM 7MATE
Easily the best of the LW series, balancing the compulsory doses of aggressive action and stunts with a better use of the first film’s trump card - the uniquely unhinged chemistry between odd-couple cops Murtagh (Danny Glover) and Riggs (Mel Gibson). Also benefits from the crafty comic relief of GoodFellas’ pipsqueak Joe Pesci as a dodgy accountant. Making South Africans the villains of the piece was a fresh touch, too (by the late 80s, the Russians were buddies with the US once again, remember?).
GARFIELD
*1/2
6:30 PM 7FLIX
Joyless live-action version of the popular comic strip about a layabout, lasagna-loving cat (voiced by Bill Murray). The lack of fun stems from a lack of interaction between the quick-witted feline and his dim-witted human counterparts. Co-stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Breckin Meyer.
ALONG CAME A SPIDER
***
10:00 PM 7FLIX
Morgan Freeman’s second quality pass at playing forensic psychologist Alex Cross sees our hero on the trail of a psychotic loner that has kidnapped a politician’s daughter from an exclusive girls’ school. With Secret Service agent Jezzie Flanagan (bleach-blonded Julia Roberts clone Monica Potter) in tow, Cross determines that the abduction is but one facet of an elaborate operation to copy the infamous Lindbergh baby case of the early 1930s.
17 AGAIN
**1/2
7:00 PM GO!
High School Musical heart-throb Zac Efron plays a disillusioned loser magically transported back to his youth to recapture his winning ways. A pleasantly predictable body-swap comedy. Nothing more, nothing less. Within the narrow confines of the genre, most viewers would rank it a notch or two beneath, say, Tom Hanks’ Big. Or the respective Freaky Fridays of Jodie Foster and Lindsay Lohan.
ATOMIC BLONDE
***1/2
9:00pm GO!
Throughout this style-conscious, substance-free action pic, Charlize Theron brilliantly blurs the line that separates the alluring from the alarming. The movie is never up to much - a confusing, convoluted story prohibits any sustained interest from viewers - but Theron is all over the need to keep energy levels pulsing as intensely as they can. It is the late 1980s, and with the Berlin Wall about to crumble, British super-spy Lorraine Broughton (Theron) must retrieve a list that will save the lives of many double agents active during the Cold War. While the finer points of this tale are impossible to follow, Theron deploys a cool combo of bewitching beauty, bone-breaking brawn and belittling eye contact that is impossible to resist. Sure, her character casually lifts certain traits from the playbooks of Jason Bourne, John Wick and even James Bond. Nevertheless, the perma-frosted composure Theron applies to her performance cannot be found elsewhere. Co-stars James McAvoy, Sofia Boutella.
BUOYANCY
***1/2
9:30 PM WORLD MOVIES
A compelling, harrowing and stridently informative drama about a plague of modern slavery infesting the poorer regions of Southeast Asia. An all too typical story is sympathetically framed around Chakra (newcomer Sarm Heng), a 14-year-old Cambodian farm worker who thinks he’s set for a better life when he ventures to neighbouring Thailand on the promise of a well-paid job in a factory. Instead, Chakra and many others who have fallen for the same ruse soon find themselves held captive on a fishing boat on the open seas. All aboard the cramped vessel lead a horrifying existence, forced to toil day and night reeling in haul after haul. While the film does have some pacing and coherency problems, what immediately hits home - and then stays with the viewer for some time afterwards - is just how commonplace such deception and abuse remains in this supposedly enlightened age. (As you read this, an estimated 200,000 migrant workers are being held as virtual slaves within the $7 billion Thai fishing industry.)