Black market Ozempic is so last year. Bring on the Ritalin — ADHD diagnosis optional

Mummy drug rings are no longer searching for illicit weight loss drugs. Now, Ritalin is all the rage — ADHD diagnosis optional.

Ritalin is all the range — ADHD diagnosis optional. Picture: Supplied

And Just Like That, the Ritalin wars have hit Melbourne’s blue chip ‘burbs.

Mummy drug ring WhatsApp groups on the hunt for some black market ADHD prescription pills are about to reach fever pitch to match that of the shrill and hyperactive.

Nothing like the school holidays to really ramp up those spectrum side effects.

Forget Ozempic, Wegovy or Mounjaro jabs, most housewives have found themselves a doctor or nurse to fill out those prescriptions – at a price – with wait lists for the weight loss injections nary an issue these days at the counter from once pursed lips pharmacists.

Now it’s all about fretting over which chemist still has some Concerta or Ritalin, as Australia faces a nationwide shortage of methylphenidate that could lost until the end of the year.

One private school mother out Bayside way has even created a side hustle, selling her kid’s ADHD prescription for ten times the price for those wigging out and looking on the black market to start stock piling (also known as Facebook marketplace).

Sex And The City was always ahead of its time when it came to fashion and the modern day dilemma for the thirty something woman.

While its spin off And Just Like That has found mostly cringey narratives this season, it was on the money with the plot line of Carrie Bradshaw hustling to smuggle ADHD meds. Picture: Supplied

While its spin off And Just Like That has found mostly cringey narratives this season, it was on the money with the plot line of Carrie Bradshaw hustling to smuggle ADHD meds for Aidan’s teenage son at the behest of his ex-wife.

Turns out the shortages are largely due to manufacturing issues – including problems sourcing raw ingredients and production quotas in the United States. When one brand runs out, it puts pressure on other labels, thus creating a domino effect across the supply chain which has now hit Down Under.

But it’s no secret there is also increasing demand.

Around half a millions Australians have been prescribed ADHD medications. That’s four times the number from nine years earlier.

And it feels like every adult influencer on social media has also been diagnosed as on the spectrum, we digress.

But we all know the blue-chip postcodes do things differently, and it’s no secret mummies aren’t just looking out for their neurodivergent little ones, but seeking out, street name ‘dexies’, to get that extra buzz and adrenaline kick for a night out without any of the telltale sniff sniffing side effects.

Tsk tsk.