Comedians reveal worst heckles

WHAT is the best way to psych out a comedian? Tell them about the time you matched with them on Tinder. Or not.

HAVE you ever wondered if, deep down, comedians actually appreciate being heckled mid-zinger? The answer is probably not. That is, unless it’s a really good heckle.

From ruined punchlines and undermined jokes to heckles that become material for their next gigs, here are some of their all-time favourites.

Plus a few handy tips on what not to do. Spoiler: just don’t do it.

COMEDIANS REVEAL BEST/WORST HECKLES

Steve Bugeja in Summer Camp

“Not only is that the most devastating heckle ever — you’ve completely undermined the joke. I’ve now got to scrap that bit of material.”

Melbourne Town Hall until April 22. Click here for details.

Ari Eldjárn in Pardon my Icelandic

“People in Iceland are too timid to heckle.”

Greek Centre until April 22. Click here for details.

Rhys Nicholson in Seminal

“19-year-olds — I don’t know what you’re talking about, at any time.”

Swiss Club until April 22. Click here for details.

Zainab Johnson, Appearing in Headliners

“After the show he came up to me and was like ‘I was just trying to help’. FYI: that will never help a comedian.”

Max Watt’s until April 8. Click here for details.

Ivo Graham, Appearing in New Order

“If I wasn’t under such bright lights, I’d probably come down there and have a go at your appearance, sir.”

Melbourne Town Hall until April 22. Click here for details.

Stephen K Amos in Bread and Circuses

“There is a myth that, ‘If I heckle this show it is going to be better’. No mate, if you’re not in the show, that will be better.”

Athenaeum Theatre until April 22. Click here for details.

Douglas Lim in This Is Nice

“People in Malaysia don’t usually heckle. What they do is, I think, a bit worse — they completely ignore you.”

Chinese Museum until April 15. Click here for details.

Jeff Green in 30

The worst heckle I get usually is when they can’t be heard. You’ll just be performing and someone’ll go, ‘you’re sh*t and you know it ... And all your friends think you’re sh*t.’All your confidence drains out of the soles of your feet.”

Swiss Club until April 22. Click here for details.

Sammy J in Hero Complex

“Best heckle? ‘You’re not my real son’. That was my father. He says it each gig, in fact. Worst heckle? ‘You’re not my real son’. That was from my mother. They’ve both really been trying to say something to me for quite a few years now.”

Athenaeum Theatre, April 22. Click here for details.

Loyiso Gola in Unlearning

“I was on stage and someone said ‘I matched with you on Tinder and you didn’t reply to my text.’ That was the most off-putting heckle ever?”

Mantra on Russell until April 22. Click here for details.

Carl Donnelly in The Nutter on the Bus

“One of the worst heckles I ever had was after the gig in a lift the next morning. These two people got in the lift and they just looked at me — and obviously it was still me — and they went, ‘that was a tough gig last night ... I’ve seen comedians go bad before but I’ve never seen anything like that.”

Chinese Museum until April 22. Click here for details.

DeAnne Smith in Worth It

“I don’t want anyone to think that heckling is ever great because it’s not. You’re not part of the show. Your only job is to sit back and say ‘hahahaha’.”

Greek Centre until April 22. Click here for details.

Dane Simpson in Aborigi-LOL: 100% Aussie Laughs

“My dad is the only guy to ever heckle me. We’re in this theatre in Dubbo ... I started telling stories about my dad and I just heard this guy just go, ‘Na, don’t tell this story’. I hear everyone go ‘ooh, someone’s yelling out’ and I’m just like ‘No, that’s my dad.’ Everyone started clapping and laughing and my dad just stood up and just started waving at everybody — and they loved it.”

The Coopers Malthouse until April 22. Click here for details.

Dave Hughes in The Snorkeler

“My parents who came to a show once and yelled out ‘we paid for your education’.”

Athenaeum Theatre until April 21. Click here for tickets.

Urzila Carlson in Studies Have Shown

“I was in Adelaide, where I was about 10 minutes into a one-hour set and a lady just put her hand up and I went ‘yes’ — because that doesn’t normally happen in a comedy show. It’s not like a Q&A thing. And she just goes, ‘Can you leave?’ It was so polite but so brutal.

Forum Theatre until April 22. Click here for details.

Dave Thornton in So What Now?

I was in Edinburgh. My first year performing there and 20 minutes or so into the show I am not getting a lot of laughs but there are two rogue people in the audience that found me funny and they were laughing along. From the silence of the rest of the audience — and I couldn’t see them because they were in the dark — you could hear one of them lean across and say to those laughers, ‘shhh’ — like as if ‘we’re trying to shatter his hopes and dreams, don’t encourage him”.

Max Watt’s until April 22. Click here for details.

Becky Lucas in Cute Funny Smart Sexy Beautiful

“The worst heckle is when it’s quite supportive. You know, and it’s just like ‘You’re going great’ and I’m like, ‘No ... I’m not’.”

Melbourne Town Hall until April 22. Click here for details.

Sam Simmons in Radical Women of Latin American Art, 1960-1985

“I walked out on stage and I didn’t have a hat on ... Before I even got to the microphone someone said, ‘Oh no, a bald motherf*cker.’ They were like really upset at the possibility that the musings of a bald man were going to offend their night.”

Arts Centre Melbourne until April 22. Click here for details.