‘Toxic institution’: Prince Harry opens up in trauma chat

The Duke of Sussex has attacked the royal family in a live-streamed chat as his therapist made a bizarre statement.

The Duke of Sussex has said he always felt different and his wife gave him an escape route out of the “goldfish bowl” life within the royal family.

Speaking candidly about handling trauma in a “toxic institution” with author Dr Gabor Mate in a live streamed conversation on Sunday morning (AEDT), Prince Harry said, “People say my wife saved me, I was stuck in this world and she was from a different world and helped me out of that.

Prince Harry talks trauma in a livestreamed event.

“But none of the elements in my life now would have been possible without me seeing them for myself.

“My partner is an exceptional human being and I am eternally grateful for the space and wisdom she gave me…”

During the chat, Dr Mate decided to “diagnose” Prince Harry with Attention Deficit Disorder, which left the royal bemused.

The Prince responded: “What do I do with that?”

The fifth in line to the throne, who is promoting his memoir Spare that unearths intimate details of members of the royal family, said the lure of holidays and volunteering in Africa in his teenage years afforded him the unbridled freedom away from the constraints within the institution.

The Duke of Sussex says he always felt different to the rest of his family.

The Duke of Sussex spoke to trauma expert Dr Gabriel Mate.

“I felt so free with my trips to Africa… being in the wilderness.

“I had to learn who I was, be my true self, get away to become a better dad but I became more distant from my family,” he said.

“Coming back to London (after Africa) was always coming back to the fishbowl.

“I felt different from the rest of my family, I felt strange being in this container and my mum felt the same. My body was in there but my head was out or vice versa.

“Whenever I was my true self, it was almost ‘don’t be yourself, come back to what you’re expected to be’”, he said.

Prince Harry says dating Meghan Markle gave him a “crash course” on racism. Picture: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

The father of two, who lives in California with his actress wife Meghan Markle and their two children Archie and Lilibet, said writing his book was a necessary “act of service” to enable open discussion on mental health.

He has always struggled with the death of his mother Diana, Princess of Wales when he was 12 and writing his autobiography dedicated to her memory and his family was cathartic, he said.

“I don’t see myself as a victim, I’m grateful to be able to share my story to empower others and let people know we are all connected through trauma, I have never looked for sympathy in this,” the Duke said.

Prince Harry has always struggled with the tragic death of his mother, Princess Diana. Picture: Georges De Keerle/Getty Images

“Experiences I have had throughout my 38 years - I’m not looking forward to becoming 40 - I’ve felt that sharing my story will help someone or some people out there.

“People have shared things outside my control, but to share things in my life I think are important, it feels good, like an act of service.”

He revealed it has taken him years to find the right therapist to help him understand himself.

“For years it felt like the boy in the bubble, my awareness of myself was distorted because of the environment I was confined in. I was boxed in by society,” he said.

“When I found the therapist and unpacked 12-year-old Harry at the point my mother died, it unravelled a lot - it was scary.

“I thought therapy would cure me and I could hold onto my mother — but it was the opposite, I realised I had lost her.

“99.9 per cent of us are carrying some grief and loss.”

The Duke of Sussex did not mention estranged brother Prince William during his chat. Picture: Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

The Duke said dating Meghan Markle gave him a “crash course” on racism.

“I had a crash course in racism to experience what my wife, then girlfriend, endured in the UK was pretty shocking,” he said.

“I was surprised and quite naive. What people do not understand is the pain it causes to individuals is huge but also the pain it causes to society is immense.

“I made my own mistakes in the past which I own, and I’m grateful for those experiences because I had to learn from them - I didn’t know I had this unconscious bias inside of me,” he added.

Prince Harry says he doesn’t want to repeat the mistakes of his father, Prince Charles. Picture: Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

The revelation in his book that his father King Charles only lightly touched his knee while delivering the news the morning after his mother had died has left him vowing to “smother” his children with love since becoming a father himself.

“I feel a huge responsibility to both my kids to ensure I don’t pass on my traumas to my kids that I had growing up or as a young man,” he said.

“I feel I should be smothering them with love.”

His troubled upbringing made him a “fantastic” candidate for the British military, he said, when he completed two tours of Afghanistan, one spanning 2007 to 2008 and the other from 2012 to 2013 and achieving the rank of captain in 2011.

“I was a fantastic candidate for the military — we recruit from broken homes, it’s often for people who need structure,” he said.

“I was an outdoor person, sitting in a classroom is my idea of ...ugh…

“In the army I thrived on opportunities thrown at me, anything that involved working with my hands, I felt more comfortable than sitting in an office… I’ve always been sensitive.”

Harry admitted taking marijuana as a teenager helped him feel he belonged and ayahuasca and psychedelics helped purge suppressed emotions.

“For me it (ayahuasca ) was cleaning of the windshield, removing life filters, it brought me a sense of relaxation, release, comfort, but I started doing it recreationally and started to realise how good it was for me,” he said.

“It is one of the most fundamental parts of my life that changed me and helped me deal with the traumas of the past. You need professional support because a lot of repressed childhood trauma can come out,” he said.

Originally published as ‘Toxic institution’: Prince Harry opens up in trauma chat