Meghan Markle told me how she’d attempt suicide but didn’t do it so I wouldn’t lose another woman, reveals Harry
Prince Harry has revealed the main reason Meghan Markle didn’t end her life was because she didn’t want her husband to lose another woman.
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Meghan Markle told her husband Prince Harry how she was going to attempt suicide - but she didn’t want him to lose another woman in his life, he has revealed.
The Duke of Sussex, 36, spoke about Meghan’s struggles with mental health as well as his own in the documentary The Me You Can’t See.
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Meghan, 39, revealed during a high-profile interview with Oprah Winfrey earlier this year that her mental health suffered while she was living in the UK and that she was not given the help she needed when she reportedly felt suicidal.
The duke gave further details about her wife’s struggles in the new documentary.
He said: “Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities of how she was going to end her life.
“The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t ‘lost it.’ She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol.
“She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up.
“I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with them.”
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Harry said that what stopped his wife from giving in to suicidal thoughts was how “unfair” it would be to him after the death of his mum Princess Diana in 1997.
“The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now be put in a position of losing another woman in my life, with a baby inside of her, our baby,” he said.
Harry also spoke about trying to get help from his family during this difficult time when his wife was “struggling” while she was pregnant with their son Archie.
“I thought my family would help, but every single ask, request, warning, whatever, it is just got met with total silence, total neglect,” he said.
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During the couple’s explosive chat with Oprah earlier this year, Meghan broke down in tears as she revealed she told Prince Harry she “didn’t want to be alive anymore” and had suicidal thoughts.
She said she had been told she would not be able to seek help as it “wouldn’t be good for the institution.”
Pregnant Meghan said: “I just didn’t see a solution. I didn’t want to be alive anymore.”
The duchess said she begged for help from the Firm after struggling with her mental health - saying it was her husband who “saved” her.
One night, while suffering suicidal thoughts, Meghan claimed that she forced herself to go to an event with Harry – because she felt she couldn’t be left alone, for fear of what she might do.
And she said while the lights were down during the Cirque du Soleil premiere at the Royal Albert Hall in January 2019, she was “weeping” while clutching Harry’s hand until his knuckles were white.
The Duchess of Sussex, who was six months pregnant at the time, said she would cry while the lights were down in the royal box before she would compose herself for the cameras and smile during the intervals.
Meghan revealed: “I was ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry because of how much loss he suffered.
“But I knew that if I didn’t say it I would do it - because I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.
“I didn’t want to be alive anymore. That was a very clear and real and frightening, constant thought.
“And I remember, I remember how he just cradled me.”
Harry launched blistering attacks on his close relatives in another interview with Oprah Winfrey - and even admitted to past drug use and booze binges to escape from his anguish.
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The Prince says he was never given the space or the time to really mourn his mother’s death, and that led him to eventually try drinking and drugs to numb his lingering pain.
Harry said he would try to “feel less” of what he was feeling and would abstain from drinking all week and then drink “a week’s worth” in one sitting as a coping mechanism.
“I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling”, the Duke admits.
“But I slowly became aware that, okay, I wasn’t drinking Monday to Friday, but I would probably drink a week’s worth in one day on a Friday or a Saturday night.
“And I would find myself drinking, not because I was enjoying it but because I was trying to mask something.”
When he was 17, Harry was reportedly sent to rehab by Charles after he was caught smoking cannabis.
St James’s Palace later confirmed that Harry had “experimented with the drug on several occasions” but said he was not a “regular” user.
Harry spoke in the documentary about suffering through a “nightmare time” in his life from when he was 28 until 32.
“I’m freaking out every single time I jump in the car, or see a camera. I would just start sweating,” he said.
The five-part celebrity-packed doc was released on Apple TV in the US on Thursday night and the UK this morning.
Harry revealed that he’s been in therapy for “four or five years” - while also opening up about turning his back on Britain and his family to “break the cycle” of grief being passed down the generations.
The Duke blasted his dad Charles - saying he did little to help him through his struggles.
He said: “My father used to say to me when I was younger, he used to say to both William and I, ‘Well, it was like that for me so it’s going to be like that for you.’
“That doesn’t make sense. Just because you suffered, that doesn’t mean your kids have to suffer. Actually quite the opposite.
“If you suffered, do everything you can to make sure that whatever negative experiences you had, you can make it right for your kids.”
This article originally appeared on The Sun and was reproduced with permission
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