Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s ultimate humiliation

An onslaught against the Sussexes that never could have been predicted shows just how far the royal couple has fallen.

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Eight days. It took barely a week into 2024 – so soon into the new year that footpaths are still diabolically strewn with desiccated Christmas trees – for the Sussex-slaught to begin.

Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex might themselves have not been seen in public since November but at Monday’s Golden Globes in Los Angeles they were everywhere: Host Jo Koy mocked them and failed to use the duchess’ title; Meghan’s Suits co-star Gina Torres revealed that one time royal is not in the cast’s group chat because they “just don’t” have her number; and it was Variety magazine, an ally of the 42-year-old, that posted that eyebrow-raising Torres clip.

And, we haven’t even gotten to the worst part yet.

The real salt in the wound, the insult to the injury? Not only did awards season just kick off with Hollywood taking the mickey out of the couple but all of this was happening exactly four years to the day since they announced they were stepping down from their senior royal roles and Megxit was born.

So much to look forward to. Harry and Meghan during their last duty as a working royal couple in March 2020. Picture: Tolga AKMEN / AFP)

The symbolism of these bookend events is exquisitely ‘orrible for the Great Sussex Escape project. It seems like it was only a hot minute ago that the couple seemed poised to conquer worlds, industries and social media platforms, the palace defectors the most exciting thing to happen in LA since the rise of the talkies. And yet here we are today, the duke and duchess precariously close to official one-hit-wonder certification. (Rick Astley is getting their induction paperwork ready as we speak.)

It took only ten minutes into his opening monologue for Koy for the Sussexes to be dragged into Globes proceedings.

“Turns out Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will still get paid millions of dollars for doing absolutely nothing – and that’s just by Netflix,” he joked.

Later Koy quipped, “How great was Imelda Staunton in The Crown, wasn’t she amazing? The portrayal of the Queen was so good Prince Harry called her and asked her for money.”

So much for any hopes that Harry and Meghan might have futilely being holding onto that they could start 2024 with a fresh slate, able to move on from a year that saw the demise of their Spotify deal and them being branded ‘losers’ and “f**king grifters”.

Jo Koy hosting the 2024 Golden Globes ceremony, cracking jokes about Meghan and Harry. Picture: Stan

Meanwhile, the Globes also played host to a mini reunion of the cast of Suits, with stars Patrick J. Adams, Gina Torres, Sarah Rafferty and Gabriel Macht posing together with one very famous member of their number missing.

Something would seem to have changed between 2018, when the band of actors were all invited to the royal wedding and today. Earlier in the evening in a red carpet interview, Torres said of the group, whose show has become Netflix’s most-watched acquired show, “Our text thread is insane right now, so it’s very exciting.”

Stars of Suits enjoy a mini reunion without Meghan Markle. Picture: Robyn BECK / AFP

Variety’s Marc Malkin asked Torres, “So who texted Meghan and said ‘you have to come to the Golden Globes Meghan Markle’?”

Torres responded good naturedly, “We don’t have her number … we just don’t.”

Gina Torres says the #Suits group chat is "insane right now," but she doesn't have Meghan Markle's number. #GoldenGlobeshttps://t.co/bTYJ1neAOipic.twitter.com/SNLoOcHCvd

— Variety (@Variety) January 7, 2024

The sting in the tale here – or tale more accurately – comes when you realise that this clip was shared by trade bible Variety, which has previously put Meghan on its cover, had named her one of their Power of Women honorees in 2022, and with the duchess walking the event’s red carpet in only November.

Throughout all of this, on a night when the great and the good, the Botoxed and the Ozempic-ed, the overly-taut and the squidgily plumped faces of the entertainment biz all giddily filed into the Beverly Hilton ballroom to congratulate themselves and to neck Champagne in the ad breaks, the Sussexes were nowhere to be seen.

There is every chance that the duo sagely decided to stay home, swaddled under the one Hermès throw, sipping soothing tisanes and refiling the Archewell office’s positivity thought jar. (Somehow it was empty by June last year.)

Harry and Meghan were nowhere to be seen at the glitzy Golden Globes event. Picture: Netflix

However, once upon a time, the duke and duchess would have seemed so above Hollywood that the idea of them walking a red carpet and attending the event would have been laughable. Except now, their absence raises the question of whether they have been fully accepted and welcomed into the fold by La La Land.

Today the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are not consummate movers and shakers or industry forces and they do not appear to have fully cracked the business or town they have tried to make their own.

We only have to rewind a handful of years to that day in 2020 to see how spectacularly, how sensationally their stature has fallen.

In the days after the sonic boom of Megxit, it seemed like an inexorable certainty that the Sussexes were poised to become the brightest and highest paid stars on the planet. Two Windsors junking the family business and freeing themselves from the clutches of an institution so hidebound they need a lengthy PowerPoint presentation to come to grips with the hashtag, hanging out their shingle? This was unthinkable, absolutely wild stuff.

In 2020 it seemed as though Meghan and Harry would be propelled to stardom. Picture: Chris Jackson/Getty Images for the Invictus Games Foundation

Courtiers reeled, Fleet Street smacked its chops and studio honchos wondered how many zeros they could feasibly add to their Sussex bids. Free market economics opened its arms wide to greet the very first royal refugees.

Then the tape zips forward and we arrive at today. The Sussexes, whether of their own volition or not, seem to bob about on the edges of Hollywood, their stories and their truth spent, their image of being lethargic hires happy to let their titles do the heavy-lifting.

So swift, so dramatic and so vertiginous has been the decline in their fortunes that it’s impossible not to feel a bit woozy.

In less time than it probably takes for King Charles to turnover his gladioli beds at Highgrove, the Sussexes have experienced such a profound reversal of fortune that it’s enough to make even the hardiest of onlookers and those with the best sea legs feel woozy.

So happy Megxit-versary everyone. Where will things stand on this day in 2025? Will Harry’s children’s book about a talkative train that has lots of feelings be flying up the charts? Will Meghan have joined Lauren Sanchez’s, soon to be Mrs Bezos’, all-female space mission? Entries on the back of a postcard please. All bets are off.

Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.

Originally published as Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s ultimate humiliation