‘Headache’: Meghan and Harry’s King Charles coronation game

The deadline has passed, yet Prince Harry and Meghan Markle haven’t done one simple thing. And it’s causing chaos in the palace.

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It looks like it’s going to be a cliffhanger, folks.

If anyone out there like say, a King or the horde of coronation planners beavering away at trying to work out how to keep Angela Merkel away from Ursula von der Leyen (the EU President never returned the former German Chancellor’s copy of Eat Pray Love, I’m guessing) or Princess Anne’s titanium bouffant away from open flames, then things have only gotten worse today.

According to a new report, Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex can’t decide if they should attend King Charles and Queen Camilla’s fast-approaching coronation or stay home and clean out that one downstairs cupboard on the big day instead.

On Thursday, the Daily Mail revealed that the Sussexes are, just for a wild change, forcing courtiers to reach for the Junior Aspirins and have yet to tell the Palace whether they will be fronting up to the historic event or not, even though the RSVP cut-off was on Monday.

“Everything is still up in the air,” a source has told the Mail. “All people have been told is that ‘it should hopefully be resolved soon’ … It’s a headache.”

“Switching things like seating arrangements are fairly easy. But the thing that is causing more of a headache, is the security, cars and other logistical matters.

“There are now two plans, one for if they do come and another if they don’t. It’s another layer of responsibility that staff could do without.”

Harry and Meghan can’t decide if they should attend King Charles’s coronation. Picture: Danny Lawson - WPA Pool/Getty Images

Now, if the Sussexes can’t quite make up their minds about popping along so they can be bluntly ignored by his family for several hours on live TV, well, it would be understandable, n’est pas?

For obvious reasons, Harry and Meghan, having turned their hurt feelings and family squabbles into TV viewing and beach-reading, are facing the prickliest of receptions by his no longer nearest or dearest.

They face a reception from his family so chilly it could probably refreeze the polar ice caps. (The Mail has also revealed “Relations are so bad” that Charles has not spoken to his younger son “for several months.”)

Being spurned by your brother, sister-in-law and pretty much everyone aside from an inconsequential cousin or two, with every moment caught on camera for our home-viewing delectation, sounds about as enjoyable as going to one of the Duchess of York’s book readings.

Even if they can stomach the monumental cold-shouldering, they then face having to accept a B-list part in proceedings.

Their son Archie, who will turn four-years-old on the day, has not been invited, even though Charles as a wee lad was that age when he fidgeted and yawned his way through Her late Majesty’s coronation in 1953.

Harry and Meghan have turned their hurt feelings and family squabbles into TV viewing. Picture: Netflix

However, William and Kate, the Prince and Princess of Wales’ three young ‘uns will be there, with Prince George featuring as one of his grandfather’s pages. (He will be the youngest future King to ever take part in a coronation meaning he will certainly have something unbeatable for show and tell the following week.)

Then, after the service there will be a carriage procession that will wend its way from the Abbey back to the Palace through the streets of London, with football-style bleachers set to be erected to accommodate the crowds of Thermos-toting, Union Jack-waving diehards. Again, the Wales, en masse, are expected to be preparing for the most vigorous, gruelling hand-waving session of their careers. Maybe stretch first Your Royal Highnesses.

While it has not been confirmed, at this stage, it seems increasingly likely that non-working members of the King’s family will be excluded, thus giving rise to the wonderfully ridiculous image of at least one prince, a duchess and two princesses being forced to travel to the Palace via minibus. Toot toot!

Then will come the climactic moment on coronation day when the King, Queen and a select few will take their waving routine out onto the Palace balcony. On this front, the Mirror has been doing some reporting and on Thursday revealed that again, it will only be the frontline members of the House of Windsor.

Which is to say, should the Sussexes’ go to the coronation they face being reminded over and over again of just how far they have fallen in less time than it has taken for Princess Anne to finish that one can of Busy Gal hairspray; from star billing to random Kent cousin territory.

Also, the duke and duchess flying fin or Charles and Camilla’s big day would also represent something of a galling climb down for Harry from his moral high horse after having said he wants his family to, as he told Bryony Gordon, “come clean” and ‘apologise’ to Meghan.

William and Kate’s three children will be at the coronation. Picture: Samir Hussein/WireImage

And yet…the Sussexes need to go to the coronation.

Their careers, livelihoods and ongoing invitations to Oprah’s mimosas brunches are entirely dependent on public interest in them and that, in turn, is entirely dependent on their royal status. Take away their titles, take away who his family is and they are two people making middling content, with middling CVs and a mortgage about as big as a small nation state’s GDP.

So I ask you, can they afford to skip any opportunity to top up their royal juju? Can they risk excluding themselves from what could be one of the biggest TV events in history?

This is serious mess territory and there do not seem to be any good options, for anyone involved, not least those headache-y, fretting Palace staffers trying to work out the blasted seating charts.

(Another complicating factor in all of this is the coronation falling on Archie’s birthday.)

However, there is another possible interpretation of Harry and Meghan having yet to click ‘yeah’ or ‘nay’ on their Palace evite: They are toying with the Palace.

Which again, would make sense.

Harry and Meghan Netflix are likely toying with the Palace. Picture: Netflix

When in January Harry was busy giving all those pouty TV interviews to sell Spare, he made clear that he wants his family to come to the table and maybe even do some mea culpa-ing. We all know how the Palace responded: By doing nothing. No statement, no even vague admission, no concessions and certainly no hugs. Charles, Camilla, William and Kate just got on with their day jobs of making trips to the Home Counties to feign interest in produce markets and press a bit of plebeian flesh.

Therefore, if Harry and Meghan, their Netflix and Spare sallies having failed to bring the Palace to the negotiating table or to heel, might fancy making various royal mandarins and HRHs lives a tad more difficult, we’d get it.

But still. As of Monday, it’s 26 days until Camilla becomes the first Queen to tell the Archbishop of Canterbury to get a wriggle on during the blessing or Prince George becomes the first royal page to insist on wearing his England stripe on the job. At some point, Harry and Meghan are going to have to choose. Tick tock you two, tick tock.

Daniela Elser is a writer and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.

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Originally published as ‘Headache’: Meghan and Harry’s King Charles coronation game