‘They mocked my appearance and my dad: Candice Warner reveals bullying ordeal at posh school
Candice Warner has revealed she was tormented at school by posh bullies who turned her into a fearful loner – and gave her a very personal reason to prove who was toughest.
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Candice Warner has revealed she was turned into an isolated loner by bullies at school – but the cruel torment also drove her determination to become a winning athlete.
The champion Ironwoman reveals the lasting impact of the long-running nightmare, which began when she moved in Year Five to posh Sydney private school St Catherine’s, in her new book Running Strong.
A gang led by “one very influential girl” targeted Warner for her appearance and for her working-class background, in particular mocking her father and his car, which was a Toyota Lexcen less flashy than some of the other parents’ vehicles.
“I used to cry sometimes when they taunted me about my dad,” Warner – then known as Candice Falzon – writes. “Those words against him were daggers that reached deeply inside of me.”
Not knowing how to discuss this with her parents, she adds, “I retreated into myself, and I think this was a dubious skill that I learned well and put in the emotional toolbox I still own to this day. I became reluctant to speak at all in some school situations, fearful of saying something that might trigger jokes and derision. I avoided certain people, even friends who I feared might join in the bullying. For the first time in my life I became something of a loner.”
As she moved into the high school years, Warner leaned into sport, which “massively helped me stay sane”. She knew what was expected of her – unlike the gossipy social scene – and could be judged on merit.
“Even as such a young person, I used all that hurt and anger I was feeling as fuel. It probably wasn’t healthy, but it was better than staying inside myself, or eating my feelings, or thinking ever darker thoughts,” she writes.
“I wanted to show the other girls what I could do, what our family could do. I wanted to have proof that we were tougher than they were, tougher than any of their barbs ... As an athlete, people had to respect me because, as the kids say now, I had the receipts.”
In an epic flip-off to the bullies, Warner made the grade as an Ironwoman aged just 14 – at the time the youngest ever.
Sport and exercise have also helped at times of stress in later life: as a well-known media figure in her own right, and the wife of cricket star David Warner, she has experienced more than her share of adult mockery and bullying, especially after an incident in 2007 when a photo of the then-single Warner kissing footballer Sonny Bill Williams in a hotel bathroom was made public – an ordeal she also addresses in Running Strong.
EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT: Candice on Sandpapergate, SBW and more
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Candice on what really happened that night
Husband David has also copped a lot, particularly around the 2018 Sandpapergate ball-tampering incident.
Discussing the school bullying with News Corp, she says it has made her extra-vigilant as a parent.
“Being bullied was part of my journey and it never held me back in any way. However, it made me cautious about trying to make new friends because I was wary of the consequences rather than being excited about the possibilities.”
She and David have strategies in place to help their daughters, Ivy Mae, 8, Indi Rae, 7 and Isla Rose, 3.
If they don’t offer information, she asks them questions to make sure they’re not also hiding in that all-too-familiar shell.
The three girls are all keen sports lovers but Warner is proactive in her approach to bullying and the potential for self-esteem issues.
“It’s really important that we allow them to just be themselves and not feel pressured to be a certain person,’’ she says.
“They’re super confident and comfortable in their own skins so they can let their personalities out but I also set guidelines, so they know the way our house runs. It’s important to us to have the girls grow up with respect for others as well as forthemselves.’’
TOP TIPS: HOW CANDICE HELPS HER GIRLS
- Go to their level and speak to them in terms they understand.
- The more comfortable they feel to open to us, the better everything will be so don’t judge them and create a safe space.
- When I pick them up from school or put them to bed I ask them what was the best part of their day and if anything happened?
- They keep a journal by their beds to write down any thoughts they don’t feel able to verbalise.
Running Strong by Candice Warner will be published by HarperCollins on April 19
Originally published as ‘They mocked my appearance and my dad: Candice Warner reveals bullying ordeal at posh school