Former teacher tells helicopter parents how to teach kids in isolation
Pesky parents managing their children’s education will be free to take charge now some Victorian schools are off limits — with this former teacher sharing a lesson for the home classroom.
Education
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Most Victorian schools are off limits to contain the COVID-19 spread, which means there’ll be less teacher-parent interaction — and all bizarre parent behaviour that goes with it.
Teacher turned author Gabbie Stroud runs the ruler over parents in her new book ‘Dear Parents’, which shares a collection of musings about their student’s parents.
Dear Parents follows the release of Stroud’s ‘Teacher’ and already has rave reviews from educators and parents alike.
One of the messages in Ms Stroud’s book is against parents sending their child’s teacher a Faceook friend request — a tempting action by many who now teach their kids from home.
“Feel free to email me but wait for my reply,” Ms Stroud wrote.
“Please read the reminders otherwise this is a tedious waste of my Sunday night.”
“I am not available for interviews before and after school unless an appointment is made because I need the precious hours to do all the other stuff I have to do and attend to stupid meetings.”
Ms Stroud’s lighthearted book also explores another hot topic in the school community — the importance of a healthy lunch box.
“We have a healthy lunch policy. Lunches that include plenty of vegies, proteins and some healthy fats are best for optimum learning,” Ms Stroud wrote.
“Yes, this last sentence makes me roll my eyes too because as well as being a teacher I am a parent and I know what it’s like to be racing out the door of a morning.”
Ms Stroud is also thankful teachers won’t have to deal with various student allergies, now most schools are off limits.
“Please be aware we are nut-aware school. Children who have nut spreads, or foods that may contain nuts are asked to sit in a designated area and wash their hands thoroughly after eating,” she said.
“Don’t bring a birthday cake, cupcakes, lollipops, icy poles, chocolate frogs, and so on.
“Kids have dietary requirements including gluten free, dairy free, Halal, fructose free, sugar free, vegetarian, vegan, paleo and keto. For this reason, it is safest if we celebrate student birthdays simply by saying “Happy Birthday”.
Childhood obesity is now a concern for parents, not teachers, Ms Stroud writes in her book.
“A daily 15 minute fitness session forms part of every student’s day — this is also aligned with our healthy kids policy which is an attempt to reduce childhood obesity. Because childhood obesity is now my problem,” she wrote.
The mass gatherings bans in public places will also have benefits, according to Ms Stroud, as it stops unhelpful parents volunteering at school events.
“Please be aware that parents who wish to help with literacy are required to attend a two-hour training session,” she said. “For those parents who want to come into and spy, critique my work, check on their precious little Johnny, provide one-on-one support for their little Johnny, observe another that little Johnny has complained about … well, you guys can stay home.”
If Ms Stroud’s observations are to be believed, teacher won’t miss swimming lessons.
“Students can wear their swimsuits to school beneath their uniform, but please, make sure your child packs a pair of underpants for afterwards,” she said.
“There’s nothing worse than grade 5/6s making jokes for the rest of the day about freeballing and going commando.”
Ms Stroud said while she was a teacher, parents were the ultimate teachers.
“You are their first teacher and their lifelong teacher. You. The work that I do. The work that any classroom teachers does, is secondary to the teaching that you do every single day of your child’s life,” she said.
Dear Parents by Gabbie Stroud. Allen and Unwin. RRP. $32.99.
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