The piece of career advice that changed my life

LOSING 28kg was great, but it created a “monster” in Tory Johnson. Here’s how one piece of career advice from a Shark Tank star changed her life.

FOR AT WORK - Tory Johnson after photo

“WE LIKE you and this would have been a lot of fun, but we’ve decided to go in another direction.”

After months of meetings, the executive’s searing words tell me in an instant that the lucrative gig I assumed was mine is now dead.

This happens all the time in the workplace: Plans change. Bosses switch gears. But when it happens to you, it hurts. The sting wouldn’t have been so painful had I not been spending money I didn’t yet have and letting things slide in my own business, assuming this new deal was in the bag.

When the shock wore off, it occurred to me that I, normally a level-headed woman, had made a massive miscalculation in the heady afterglow of losing 28kg in a year. I had recently dropped several dress sizes by rethinking my relationship with food, a journey I wrote about in my 2013 New York Times bestseller, The Shift.

But the book’s success created something of a smaller monster in me. Hubris got the better of me, and I made a very bad assumption that cost me dearly. After decades of heartache on the scale, I assumed I finally deserved some sort of prize — in the form of an easy ride — and that I’d get it if only I lost weight. I convinced myself all my troubles would fade in the revelry of my accomplishment.

Instead, the big money-making gig I was counting on suddenly disappeared. I walked around in a daze for weeks until I discussed my setback with Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran, whom I met years ago in the green room at ABC’s Good Morning America, where I’m a weekly contributor.

I told Barbara this latest blow hit me hard — really hard. I braced for her to chastise me for admitting a weakness, but to my surprise, she understood completely.

“Of course, it hurt you,” she said, biting into her bagel at an Upper East Side cafe. “It comes down to how long you take to feel sorry for yourself. Get up quickly, and play up what you’ve got.”

She was right: It dawned on me that while a lower number on the scale was a great victory, it didn’t guarantee joy and fulfilment in my life — let alone an easy pass to career success.

I needed to shift on the inside just as I had done on the outside. I vowed to work to erase any sense of entitlement. And as a driven, Type-A person, I also had to reduce my stress and discover other ways to chill besides standing under a hot shower.

Real estate mogul Barbara Corcoran (left) gave Tory Johnson a piece of advice that changed the way she approached her life — and her career.

I tried things that I had read made others feel more composed — everything from meditation to acupuncture to getting more sleep. I discovered that a short midday walk to the park or along the Hudson River could perform wonders to improve my mood — brief breaks from a computer screen boost my focus.

I’ve always had the seasonal holiday giving bug, but now I wanted to make a year-round commitment — so I began to volunteer with women and foster kids. I now end each night acknowledging what went right today, instead of dwelling on all the tasks I have forgot.

Little changes, sure, but the benefits added up. Slowly, my funk dissipated, my doldrums vanished — and I started to reap the benefits at work.

At my own business, I stopped coasting and got moving again. I recommitted to always having a Plan B and a “Screw You” stash of cash to weather hard times. To recoup income from that lost gig, I ramped up my consulting services and dialled for dollars myself instead of leaving sales to others.

My husband says I am nicer to be around. My staff say I stopped snapping.

Six months after I failed to get that gig, I began negotiating a renewal with a large company I had worked with for years. My minimal project fee had stayed the same through three contracts: I had never been offered a raise, and I didn’t press it.

Looking back, the vulnerable fat girl inside me was so grateful to be accepted that I didn’t dare rock the boat. My own negative self-talk ran counter to the career advice I give all women, which is: Always speak up for your worth, and know your walkaway number — the figure at which you’d rather pass on an opportunity, because you believe strongly that you will do better elsewhere, and you’ll resent being underpaid if you stick it out.

Ultimately, we couldn’t find middle ground on compensation, so we parted ways. Sensing this might happen, I hustled during negotiations to score a few new consulting clients, who made up for that lost income. Yes, I would have preferred to keep that great project, but not at any price. The boss controlled the purse strings — but I owned my self-worth.

I emerged a stronger woman from two unplanned career losses by taking Corcoran’s advice: I got up soon after I was knocked down and started to move again.

And that, says the savvy Shark, is the root of all success.

This article originally appeared on New York Post.

Originally published as The piece of career advice that changed my life