Naked CEO Alex Malley: Mistakes make you stronger and smarter

UH OH. That screw-up you’re desperately trying to hide? Don’t worry about it. Mistakes can be your new best friend.

Mistakes make you stronger and smarter

WHEN a decision you have made, or a course you have taken, turns out to be the wrong one, you have not made a mistake, you have made a friend. Why do I believe this? Well, friends can make you stronger and friends can make you smarter.

And that is exactly what mistakes do, too.

When you’re faced with an undesirable outcome that you’re responsible for, make it known that you have accepted the responsibility. Don’t shy away from it or pretend you were not to blame. Acknowledging it will immediately make you stronger.

This takes courage, and obviously you want to make as few mistakes as possible, but at the same time they will teach you a lot about the significance of accountability: an essential quality for any employee and future leader.

Walking into an office to tell your boss or colleagues that you have made a mistake, while daunting, builds enormous character. It strengthens the foundation you are building your career on.

Mistakes also make you smarter. You will learn from them, and you will find out how to accept and move on from them. Eating ‘humble pie’ once in a while does not always have to taste bad. What is important is that you are extending yourself enough to even take the chance of making a mistake. With the expectation of learning, you have to possess a willingness to try things and, as a result of trying, you will make mistakes.

Everyone who desires to reach their dreams and live a full life will make mistakes along the way.

But then there are those people who consistently drive through life with the windows up, the doors closed and locked, because they are afraid of taking chances. They have learnt nothing about their capability. They have not grown as people. They have stayed so safe that they have made no productive effort to have a big life full of unique, character-building experiences. To me, that is not life.

Every time you make a mistake, you will discover how resilient you are. You will learn more about your character and how well, or how badly, you cope when you don’t perform at your expectation. Talking to your boss or colleagues about complex and unpleasant issues are daily undertakings for a leader, so facing your mistakes and learning how to communicate to others is essential for your professional development.

More often than not, those people brave enough to take calculated risks to achieve bigger things are far more impressive and stronger as people.

When someone tells me they have never made a mistake, what they are really telling me is they have never lived.

MAKE IT HAPPEN: HOW TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES

Here are some tips to help you accept and learn from your mistakes, and grow stronger — and then move on.

Be honest and own it:

You have made a mistake — now what? The best way to start turning it into a positive is to admit you have made it. When you start blaming other people, you distance yourself from any possible lesson. So if you did the wrong thing, accept that while it is not going to be pleasant, you will recover. And it is unlikely you will make that same mistake again.

Reflect on what went wrong:

Take a few minutes to work out what happened. Once you have got your head around it, think about what you could do differently if you found yourself in the same situation in the future. If you’re struggling to understand the situation, ask a mentor or someone you trust with more experience for their input.

Look at the glass as half full:

You’ll achieve little from thinking about mistakes as failures rather than opportunities to learn and grow as a person. In fact, people are often more likely to learn from their mistakes than their successes. With each mistake you make, you’re able to learn a lot more about yourself, other people and practical processes that will help you in the future.

Know how to avoid unnecessary mistakes:

If you make a mistake because you didn’t understand what was required of you at the outset, I would classify this as an avoidable or unnecessary mistake. Always ask questions so you understand the task or directive before embarking on it. You may feel you’re losing face by saying, ‘I don’t understand’, but this will be fleeting compared to what the alternative could end up being.

Find solutions:

I find it disappointing when someone who has contributed to a mistake does not consider how to fix it before raising it with me. The negativity surrounding the issue may be minimised when the problem and possible solution are offered at the same time.

Taking a moment to solve the problem, or at least making an effort to do so, will garner you a lot more respect from your managers and colleagues. Think through the issue rationally and objectively. Ask yourself: What caused the mistake? Who will need to be made aware of it? And what is a potential solution?

Stay calm:

Letting stress and fear take control can be easy when something goes wrong, but being guided by these emotions will probably just dig you a deeper hole. So when you make a mistake, remain calm and composed, and avoid making impulsive decisions to remedy the situation.

Keep things in perspective:

Think about some of the mistakes you have made in your life already. Consider what you learnt from the experience and how your emotions shifted over time. I smile when remembering the mistakes I made as a young professional, chiefly because at the time they seemed so completely catastrophic. Now they are vestiges of my early career — I look back on them with appreciation and, often times, amusement.

Accept other’s behaviours:

Being judgmental is one of the worst traits of humanity. When someone else makes a mistake, which may or may not affect you, remember that these things can happen to anyone, and it will likely be your turn one day.

Try to look upon these circumstances as an opportunity for you to exhibit your generosity of spirit by helping the colleague fix and move on from their error. This approach could completely redefine your relationship with that colleague, turning it into something much more positive.

Move on when the time is right:

Once you have acknowledged and accepted the consequences, it is time to move on. The world lives in the moment and aims for the future. In that context, it is important your confidence and judgment remain positive.

Do not be tentative about future decisions based on what may have happened in the past. The great achievers in life have enormous bounce-back capacity.

Take some time for later reflections:

As a CEO, I value an open and creative workplace. The people I work with know that in the process of trying to achieve great things, some things may go wrong. This culture is encouraged because I remember what it was like working in an environment that was unforgiving about anything other than perfection, and because I know perfection is unattainable.

When you take on leadership roles, never forget the value of insight that is gained from your missteps and be prepared to let others make them.

DON’T FORGET

Here are the main steps to take after making a mistake:

— Be accountable

— Work out what went wrong and learn from it

— Provide a recommended solution to the mistake

— Don’t let the mistake damage your self-confidence.

Excerpted with permission of the publisher John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd. from The Naked CEO, Copyright 2014 by Alex Malley. Available from all good booksellers from November. RRP $24.95.

Originally published as Naked CEO Alex Malley: Mistakes make you stronger and smarter