Every Step: The conversation you must have with your adult children

IT is never easy to talk to your children about your death, but it is a crucial conversation. Jeff Whalley looks at the key issues you should discuss.

The difficult conversations are often the most important.

Q. I’ve already discussed my will with my children. Is there anything else they need to know about my financial situation?

NO matter how financially savvy you may be, talking to your children about your death — and the state of your finances — is always going to be a difficult conversation.

MLC adviser Renee Hush has personal experience with the issue and says it is a conversation many families sadly do not have in time.

“As a financial planner, I know the importance of keeping your finances in order and supporting your family to do the same,” she says.

“But after losing my mum last year, I’ve seen personally how hard dealing with certain matters can be if you haven’t discussed them with your parents prior to them passing.”

Ms Hush recommends parents have a conversation with their children sooner rather than later and she says there are five central questions to focus on.

Firstly, what are your wishes for your funeral?

She says your family members should know whether you want to be cremated or buried and where you want to rest.

You should also detail other wishes, such as whether your preference is for a church, funeral home or graveside service, and what you want in terms of flowers, readings and music.

“Planning a funeral is much easier for you and your family if you’ve already discussed these matters with your parents beforehand.”

The next step is to let your children know if you have prepaid or otherwise set aside money for your funeral.

They should know where the funds are and how they can get access to them, she says, to ensure the process is as straightforward as possible.

The third key question centres on your assets and liabilities: what are they and where can your children find the details?

“Many people don’t know what their parents’ assets and liabilities are,” Ms Hush says.

“This can be a real problem because wills often don’t mention them individually.

“I recommend keeping a separate list and updating it regularly to help you track things down.”

She also recommends working with a financial planner to structure your assets appropriately.

“This will include things like determining whether accounts are in joint names or whether your parents hold property as tenants in common,” she says.

“These are really important details when you’re trying to manage the finances of a deceased loved one.”

The next issue to address is who you have listed as beneficiaries of your super and insurance policies.

“Both insurance and superannuation can be paid out separately to the estate, so having the correct beneficiaries can save a lot of heartache and paperwork.”

And finally, Ms Hush says that in this digital age it can be beneficial to let someone know details of your logins for social media, email and similar services.

“Trying to find all of the accounts your parents use and closing them is a nightmare if you don’t know what they are or how to get into them,” she says.

“If your parents use Facebook, the platform now has a legacy contact setting, which makes closing an account after a death much easier.”

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This article is part of the Every Step series from the Herald Sun business team, walking you through life’s big financial decisions from the cradle to the grave. To see all the articles in the series, click here.