‘Crazy ego’: Response to pop star’s act reveals how we really feel about successful women
A simple photo of a famous star partying has really hit a nerve for one very disappointing reason.
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OPINION
We want women to be successful unless they’re openly ambitious, then we’re annoyed with them and question whether we even like them.
Over the weekend Charli XCX, 32, pissed people off because at a Coachella after-party she wore a sash that read: “Miss should have been the headliner”.
The band Green Day headlined the festival, Charli XCX, who’d already performed for thousands of screaming fans, wore that ambitious sash and posted it on her Instagram.
Cue absolute insanity.
The pop culture account PopCrave reshared that photo on X, and then all hell broke loose.
“Charli is not headliner material,” one wrote.
“A two-hit wonder is not worth headlining,” another claimed.
“Imagine being so delusional,” one shaded.
“One summer album and these girls are acting like they’re bigger than everyone else,” someone else said.
It was an onslaught of hate, and most of the comments came from very unimpressed men.
Someone called her “cringe,” another said she was “annoying,” and people accused her of having a “crazy ego” and being arrogant.
It was staggering to see how quickly the internet turned on Charli XCX.
Yes, some annoyance came from fed-up Green Day fans, but a lot of the backlash wasn’t about people defending the headliners; it was far more about putting the pop singer in her place.
We want women to succeed, but we don’t want them to think they are better than men or openly declare that they deserve more success.
Charli XCX has come off a year, she won the general public over and had a real Cinderella moment.
The British talent has been a working pop star for years, as a songwriter and as an artist, but before last year, she was still best known for being the girl that sang on Iggy Azalea’s song Fancy in 2014.
She then dropped her album Brat in 2024, which became both commercially and critically successful and was even nominated for multiple Grammys.
Brat took the culture by storm.
It was everywhere, the term “Brat Summer” was coined and everyone wanted to have one and people wanted to share it online.
An album rarely spawns an entire subculture, but that is what happened. The thing about being a brat is that it is the opposite of the clean aesthetic.
For example, it is considered brat to not wash your hair, turn up late, and drink cranberry juice because you have a UTI.
What makes something brat is slightly subjective in internet land, but it was all about showcasing that you don’t have it together.
The cultural phenomenon of the album was encouraging fans, primarily women, to show off their messiness and chaos because that was suddenly on-trend.
It went from taking over internet culture to going mainstream, to the point that late-night host Stephen Colbert even did a viral dance to her song on Apple television.
Charli XCX became one of the most talked-about celebrities in the world, and people were really happy for her success.
She was the underdog, and after 10 years in the industry, she finally had this huge breakout moment.
It was all good, but then she wore that sash, and suddenly, so much of the goodwill she’d built up just disappeared.
People liked Charli’s success when it seemed organic, almost accidental, even if she had been working for over a decade in her career.
As soon as she dared to declare she wanted more recognition, the internet turned on her.
That is the thing about being a successful woman: You have to act grateful to be there; you can’t be seen demanding more.
Originally published as ‘Crazy ego’: Response to pop star’s act reveals how we really feel about successful women