Widow of Magic Millions-winning jockey Nathan Berry to make emotional return to the Gold Coast track today

The widow of defending Magic Millions Classic-winning jockey Nathan Berry will make an emotional return to the scene of his greatest victory today.

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TEN months ago Nathan Berry was on top of the world.

The young Sydney jockey was riding a wave of success after notching his first major race win on the Gold Coast in January and he had just married the girl of his dreams.

His career was ready to take off but then tragedy struck.

The 23-year-old collapsed at trackwork during a stint riding in Singapore on March 18 and two weeks later he died in a Sydney hospital from a rare form of epilepsy.

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His death sent shock waves through the racing community but no one felt it more than his wife Whitney.

Today, Whitney will build up the courage to return to the place where Nathan experienced his greatest joy in the saddle when she presents the Nathan Berry Award to the winning jockey of the Magic Millions 2YO Classic at the Gold Coast Turf Club.

Nathan claimed his biggest race win aboard Unencumbered in the $2 million race last year and to add to the emotion today, Whitney’s father Glyn Schofield and Nathan’s identical twin brother Tommy Berry both have rides in the big race.

Whitney knows today will be totally opposite to the sheer elation she experienced when Nathan won the big race last year and she knows it’s going to be an emotional day.

After all, it’s been hard enough just returning to the Gold Coast this week.

But she will do the best she can just like she has been doing since Nathan’s death in April last year.

“I didn’t realise how emotional it would be coming here until I arrived (on Thursday),” Whitney said.

“Even when I was at the airport in Sydney I was grabbing a magazine and I saw the Best Bets there and his picture was on the front.

“To be honest I think I’m running on autopilot and it doesn’t seem real.

“But I’m just moving on the best way that I think he would want me to.

“He wouldn’t want me to back down and be lonely and give up and he would want me to live my life and to be happy.

“For me what has given me the strength to carry on is him. By all means it hasn’t been my strength it has been his.”

Whitney misses everything about Nathan but it’s the little things she longs for the most.

The 30 phone calls Nathan used to make to her each day and the little notes he used to plant around the house that would make her smile every time.

“One morning I woke up and there was a note in the tea jar and there was a note in the sugar jar and there was a note on the milk and there was a note on the fridge and just everywhere I went to make a cup of tea, which he knew was my daily routine, he had put a little note,” Whitney recalled as she wiped back tears.

“The biggest challenge for me is getting through every day without him because we literally were inseparable and we did everything together.

“He used to call me minimum 30 times a day just for little things and he would just call to say “I love you” and then hang up.

“Even when he proposed to me, he proposed to me at the Oyster Box Hotel in Durban which is actually where my parents had their wedding reception and just the way he proposed was perfect.

“The whole room was full of rose petals and there was a table for two in front of the lighthouse and he always treated me like a princess.”

Whitney admits Nathan’s death still doesn’t feel real and perhaps it’s because she still feels him walking alongside her every day.

“I do generally feel he is with me all the time,” Whitney said.

“There are little signs and whenever I am driving in the car our wedding song, All Of Me by John Legend, is always playing.

“I also feel his presence around me and I know he would be looking down and he would be so proud.

“That is what helps me get through each day is knowing that he is with me and that he walks every step with me.”

Nathan’s strength has given Whitney the courage to do many things since his passing.

The courage to set up a second studio for the Whitney Schofield Dance Academy in Sydney and the courage to follow through on a promise they made to each other shortly before his death.

“We had both agreed after we got married that we were going to get tattoos with each other’s names,” she said.

“He was going to get my name on his chest and I was going to get his name on my wrist. “Obviously then he fell ill and went into hospital so after he passed I decided I’ve still got to hold up my end of the deal and of course I wanted his name tattooed on me.

“It was probably about a month after he passed away and it was a spur of the moment thing and I was like, nope today I’m getting it done and it has to be today.

“I had no idea exactly what I was wanting or what font or anything and the lady put it on me and I said “yep do it, go ahead”.

“It’s a beautiful reminder of Nathan and I look at it every day.”

Whitney has so many fond memories of Nathan.

There is his “very” dry sense of humour, the day he danced in one of her concerts and of course his terrible singing.

But the one memory that sticks out above the rest is their wedding day in Sydney in February last year.

“I feel very lucky that I was the one who got to marry him and I was the one who got to have him for five years,” Whitney said.

“As soon as they pronounced us husband and wife and we kissed, he whispered to me “I can’t believe we are finally husband and wife, I love you so much”.

“Also in our speech on our wedding day he was talking about me and there was a part when he said when I’m with you it feels like I’m in heaven.

“That is something that helps me get through each day knowing how happy he was.

“A lot of people say don’t you wish you didn’t have to go through all of this pain and emotion but I would never give it back for anything because I got to experience all those beautiful moments with him and I would never trade that in relation to my pain.”