Darius, Kayla Boyd find harmony after a difficult period in relationship

A STABLE future was not always a certainty for Brisbane Broncos captain Darius Boyd and his wife Kayla. Now they reveal how their relationship has survived - and their hopes to grow their family.

Kayla and Darius Boyd enjoys a quiet moment in their home.

As Darius and Kayla Boyd sit together on their white linen couch in their newly built Hendra home, there is a settled feeling between them, a contentment that is impossible to hide.

They look to each other warmly and laugh as they explain they bought the second white couch for the living room after Darius vetoed the twin millennial pink chairs Kayla had originally purchased – “no pink” was his one firm input into Kayla’s designer masterpiece.

Darius grabs some dog treats and rushes off to bribe their two dogs – Charlie, an eight-year-old silky terrier, and Boss, a one-year-old french bulldog – who are fighting for attention behind the expansive glass wall that separates the lounge from the back patio.

Life seems just about perfect for the 31-year-old captain of the Brisbane Broncos and Kayla, 30, a popular Instagram influencer, brand ambassador and women’s empowerment coach. They are relaxed, happy and laughing about expanding their young family.

It was hard for the pair to imagine they could ever arrive at this place. They have faced more adversity than most couples in the past few years; a miscarriage, revelations of infidelity, public backlash following an abortion, as well as the loss of Darius’ beloved grandmother Delphine. All of which followed Darius’ very public battle with depression.

They know they nearly didn’t make it and believe the reasons their relationship has survived has been the help of therapists and learning to properly communicate with each other.

Kayla says there’s a support, an open line of communication, that didn’t exist before.

“We never used to talk. I wouldn’t even get a boo out of him in the past. Obviously, communication is the biggest thing in a relationship and we just didn’t have that before,” she says.

They both see their own individual therapists and talk through everything.

“If you’re struggling and going through a really hard time, and you’re not talking about it, of course any relationship is going to have issues,” she says.

“He’s almost like my therapist these days. He’s so positive. We are just there for each other.”

Their black-painted timber home stands out on the quiet street of old Queenslander houses, but the neighbours have welcomed them warmly since construction was finished at the start of this year, sending over baked goods and pausing to chat rugby league while out walking their dogs.

Inside, it is a mix of crisp white and timber, but there’s still a homely feeling.

Darius glances at the dozen family photos with their three-year-old daughter Willow Kamila Boyd, crowded on the mantelpiece. His eyes light up as he talks about the next five years, a future they both hope will include baby number two, a sibling for Willow, who has already made it perfectly clear she wants a sister.

“My life now is my dream,” says Darius. “That might sound stupid, but I love where I live, I love our house, I love our family. If I didn’t get anything else, I’d be happy.”

Back in 2014, while playing for the Newcastle Knights, from the outside it looked like Darius had it all. A gorgeous wife and a stellar footy career. The fullback, who made his debut for the Broncos at 18, was an Australian and Queensland State of Origin representative, and in 2010 he was both Dally M Fullback of the Year and Clive Churchill medallist.

But behind closed doors it was a different story.

He was struggling to cope with debilitating depression. His personal life was falling apart.

The turning point was the day Kayla walked out on him. Left alone in their Newcastle home, he realised he needed help. Diagnosed with depression, he checked himself into a Sydney mental health facility and that 21-day stint began his steady recovery. The couple reunited, and the following year Kayla gave birth to Willow. Darius returned to the Brisbane Broncos in 2016 and was made captain in 2017.

But they faced more difficulties. In 2016 Kayla had a miscarriage, a week after her grandmother’s death. And when just four months later she again fell pregnant, she wasn’t ready. She admitted publicly she had decided to terminate the pregnancy, a decision that provoked immense backlash, which she found difficult to cope with. Around the same time, during a television interview, she revealed Darius had been unfaithful early in their relationship, back in 2014 when the league star hit rock bottom.

The pair’s willingness to reveal their struggles so publicly has always been part of who they are.

“In order to change and put the past behind you, that (speaking publicly about their struggles) was kind of how we had to do that. It was about being honest and truthful and speaking our truths and that’s how we’ve been able to move forward,” Kayla says.

Darius’ redemption story has become somewhat of a rugby league legend and has led to his work helping others fight the black dog.

The typically shy fullback, who let very few into his inner circle, has become a campaigner for mental health, an open book about his struggle, running Battling the Blues seminars to help others do the same.

“I always say I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t put my hand up and ask for some help, a lot of help from Kayla, a mental health clinic, obviously I wouldn’t have Willow around, I wouldn’t be the captain of the club, I wouldn’t be a leader,” Darius says. “Everyone makes mistakes and there are things I’m not proud of, but at the end of the day I can’t change it, but I can help others not make them, or get through them.”

The work is something he plans to continue after he retires and Kayla hopes in the future they can run joint mental health seminars together alongside her women empowerment events. As well as her ambassadorship roles with David Jones, Brisbane Racing Club and fashion and eauty brands, Kayla runs a successful blog and, under the brand name Find Your Fierce, is building her empire through a series of sellout women’s empowerment events which are about to expand to Sydney, Newcastle and Melbourne.

Kayla’s ambitious nature was one of the reasons Darius fell in love with her eight years ago. They were both 22 at the time. Kayla Heathcote was working in real estate on the Gold Coast and they spotted each other in a nightclub in April 2010. They spent the Christmas break together and after a summer of love she moved to Wollongong to live with Darius. They married in Mission Beach in far north Queensland in 2012.

“As a woman, regardless of what your partner or husband does as a career, it’s so important to have something for yourself,” Kayla says. “Darius always says to me ‘you can’t do everything’ and sometimes I do bite off more than I can chew. But I’d rather be busy. He also says that’s what he loved about me when he first met me, so I feel like I have to continue being that way.”

Darius interrupts: “It’s her greatest strength and also her downfall sometimes. She’s so keen that she sometimes takes on too much or gives herself a four-week deadline when it takes eight weeks to do.”

Social media is a big part of Kayla’s business, garnering a community of close to 50,000 followers on Instagram. While she’s happy to share her life on the platform, it’s a space where she’s fiercely protective of her husband. Darius doesn’t use social media and the most he sees of any post-game analysis is a glimpse of the back page at a cafe during their routine recovery breakfast dates.

Darius and Willow Boyd.

“I’ve had people email me about him or message me about him and how he’s been playing and I try not to tell him about it,” she says.

Respect for each other’s careers and their strong partnership extends to their approach to parenting. Kayla drops Willow to day care in the morning and Darius picks her up. One cooks dinner (they are both good cooks) while the other bathes Willow and tucks her into bed. On his days off, or the morning of game day, they go for breakfast, at either Harveys on James St or Miss Jones on Brunswick St, before taking Willow out for a family activity.

They feel the time is right to expand their family. Darius says he always wanted two children and Kayla wanted three. They’re “actively trying”, Darius says with a laugh. Kayla looks to him and adds: “maybe it will happen in the off season, who knows.” Less distractions, she contemplates.

Darius grew up on the Gold Coast as the only child to a single mother Rochelle Boyd. When he was 15 he moved in with his grandmother Delphine Boyd when his mother Rochelle’s mental health battles took hold. Kayla too was an only child, growing up in Wellington in New Zealand, and they both dream of giving Willow the big family neither of them had.

That’s been an added push for Darius, who never knew his father, to reconnect with his mother, whom he was estranged from for eight years until 2014, when his therapists advised him to reach out.

“It’s really good. I think for a long time I thought I didn’t need it. I was pretty angry with what happened with her when I was younger. She had her mental health battles which I didn’t understand when I was 15 or 16 what she was going through,” he says. “It’s a different relationship. It’s not mother and son anymore. I feel like I’m helping being in her life and vice versa. I want Willow to have more of a family.

“My mum did a great job until I was 15. She put food on the table, a roof over my head, took me to all my sporting carnivals and to school, Christmas presents, she did everything she could. Obviously mental health struck her down and now I feel I can repay the favour and help her out when she’s not doing the greatest.

“We drop in for half an hour with Willow just to spend time. She doesn’t say it but I’m sure it brightens her day.”

Darius Boyd in action for the Broncos. Picture: AAP/Dave Hunt

This year Darius decided to retire from representative football after not being selected for the Queensland team. He had for a decade carried the weight of Queensland and Australia.

It was a decision he might not have been able to make a few years ago. But things have changed since then, and Willow is a big part of that.

Darius points to the centre of the collection of photo frames to one of him holding Willow on the hallowed turf of Suncorp Stadium after a Broncos home game.

“I want her to remember me playing. That’s why I’ve got that photo there,” he says.

Willow’s neat play table sits next to the couch. She is a creative girl, a bright spark who Kayla describes as “an entertainer” who loves her weekly ballet class. She’s already a footy fan, telling her daycare mates that “Daddy’s a Bronco” and attending games in her Broncos-themed dress cheering “go Corey” in the stands – to the delight of try-scoring machine Corey Oates.

“Rugby league is something that has given me so much, but at the end of the day it is just a game and that’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learnt out of everything. If it finished tomorrow, for whatever reason, I’d be happy and proud and life moves on,” Darius says. “What I’ve learnt is just to put people around you, supporting you.”

He isn’t sure how many years he has left in the game. A little longer now that he doesn’t have representative football racking up his tally of games in a year. He’s already felt the improvements in his body.

“I’m a bit nervous because it’s a bit of the unknown,” Darius says. “I’m working towards life after football now. I have been for the last three years. I never actually had a proper job apart from rugby league which is the daunting part because that’s the unknown, but at the same time I’m excited.”

There’s work with Fox Sports, joint mental health seminars with Kayla and, having finished building their Hendra home early this year, more building projects. There are also thoughts of a holiday home, up or down the coast.

But one thing he’s certain of is that helping the game, and the Brisbane Broncos, won’t end when he leaves the field for the last time.

It’s little surprise, particularly to Kayla, that Darius is a finalist for the 2018 Ken Stephen Medal at this week’s Dally M Awards for his contributions off the field.

And he knows the one certainty is that Kayla will be there cheering the loudest if he wins.

“A few years ago I probably had no hope of a future and didn’t know what it looked like, but now it’s something I’m really excited for,” he says. “I’m really looking forward to my future.”

If you or someone you know needs help with depression, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14

Originally published as Darius, Kayla Boyd find harmony after a difficult period in relationship