Jobe Watson reveals ‘overbearing pain’ of Essendon drugs saga and having to return 2012 Brownlow Medal after ban

Jobe Watson has opened up on the ‘overbearing pain’ of the Essendon drugs saga, the toll it took on his football and how he felt returning his Brownlow Medal.

Former Essendon captain Jobe Watson became so disorientated on the field at the height of the supplements scandal that he felt he couldn’t play football anymore.

Watson has revealed the toughest time of the whole saga came midway through the 2015 season when it was announced that WADA was appealing the AFL Tribunal’s not guilty finding.

“Once that news came down it really felt like it was going to be something that wasn’t finished,” Watson says.

ESSENDON’S DRUG SAGA UNPACKED MORE THAN A DECADE ON

Jobe Watson talks to the media at the Pullman Hotel on March 31, 2015. Picture: Quinn Rooney/Getty Images.

“Then I remember playing after that news sort of came out and I said to Neil Craig, who was at the football club at the time as the football manager, I said: ‘I can’t see things when I am out on the ground, I am finding it very difficult’.

“The clarity and the ability to read the game and play was always the thing that came easiest for me but I I said, ‘I can’t make decisions out there, I can’t sort of see what I am supposed to be doing’.

“He sort of said, ‘Do you want to keep playing?’ I said, ‘I don’t know how I can perform when I am like this’.

“I think that was perhaps a reflection of the mental toll that had started to manifest itself. I ended up having shoulder surgery and missing a large portion of the season after that.”

Watson has opened up about the traumatic time in his life in an interview with Hamish McLachlan for his Unfiltered series which will be aired on Channel 7 at 9.30pm Wednesday.

The son of former Bombers legend Tim was disqualified for the 2016 season after WADA won its appeal handing out bans to 34 Essendon players.

Watson moved overseas and revealed he considered not returning from New York but realised it would be a “terrible way to finish your career by running away from your problems.”

He played 20 games in 2017 before announcing his retirement after 220 games.

Watson was also forced to hand back his 2012 Brownlow Medal, something which has taken him years to get over but is now “comfortable” with it.

“There are two parts to it, there is a feeling of reminding myself of that moment when I knew I had to give it back and that period, that is still something I can recognise and I can transport myself to that moment,” Watson said.

Watson retired in 2017. Picture:Wayne Ludbey

“I remember having to draft the letter to say that I was handing it back and I remember I drove down to the farm with my mum, in the car with her and it came on over the radio and she was asking me about it and I said, ‘I can’t really talk about it’.

“Then I think about the award in 2012 and the enjoyment that I had, the celebration that I had, the memories that I had.

“There are memories which are really painful about it and then there is now a reflection, being able to move on from it and understand that it was just an award and how I view it is more important than what other people think about it.

“I am at a stage now where I am really comfortable about it, I can joke about it, laugh about it, it doesn’t have an overbearing pain, it’s not something that is painful.

“There is a level of uncomfortableness sometimes but there is an overwhelming feeling that it was a really happy, enjoyable reflection of the work that I put into my career and I got to celebrate that with family and friends and it provided a lot of joy for people around me.”

Originally published as Jobe Watson reveals ‘overbearing pain’ of Essendon drugs saga and having to return 2012 Brownlow Medal after ban