Crash v Etheridge in the great Ashes debate: Three-day shootouts, why ‘Baz’ hates Bazball
Robert ‘Crash’ Craddock dons the gloves to spar with English journalist John Etheridge over the biggest and spiciest topics heading into the Ashes.
England fancy their chances this Ashes – Australia see a different story.
With so much rhetoric filling the air, the time has come to distil fact from fiction.
CODE Sports’ Robert Craddock and The London Sun’s John Etheridge have covered more than 40 Ashes series and have clashing views on many key aspects of the summer.
Here we let them loose to sort out their many differences.
CRASH: Fancy England having just one warm-up game then playing a Perth Test. Your batsmen will be ducking and diving like Prince Andrew on the first morning?
JOHN: Or Andrew Mountbatten Windsor as we must now call him! Having only one warm-up match against the England second team is a concern, especially as it is at Lilac Hill, where the bounce is very low compared to the Optus Stadium.
I remember games in the past at Lilac Hill – full house, booze flowing with an old Dennis Lillee or young Ricky Ponting playing. There won’t be a soul in the ground this time.
Since Baz McCullum and Ben Stokes took over the team, England have had five overseas tours, always prepared in the same low-key way and won the First Test each time.
They reckon that, if they played an Aussie team, they couldn’t guarantee decent-quality opposition. They also believe minimum prep at the start ensures the players are not knackered come the Fourth and Fifth Tests.
CRASH: Every former England cricketer we meet has this obsession about the wicked-nasty-hostile Australian media. Are we really that bad?
JOHN: I’ve always felt this stuff about the whole of Australia ganging up on the touring Poms is exaggerated. Every England cricketer seems to tell stories about being sledged by the immigration officer on arrival in Australia. It’s mainly nonsense but makes good after-dinner material.
Sure, the Aussie media will back their boys but, if England start to win, they’ll soon climb into the home team. It just hasn’t happened very often over the last 40 years! I think England are more worried about Starc and Hazlewood than what’s in the papers or online.
CRASH:I just can’t believe Mark Wood could possibly be cherry ripe for the Ashes when his last game of cricket was February 26 ... Ange Postecoglou has had about three jobs since then?
JOHN: When Wood played at Headingley in 2023, it was his first Test in seven months and he immediately took a five-for. He doesn’t need many overs to get revved up. I don’t think Usman Khawaja will sleep easily at the prospect of facing the world’s fastest bowler. Remember that 94.6mph thunderbolt?
As for Ange. Well, his 39 days at Nottingham Forest is even less time that it will take for England to regain the Ashes. Maybe he can apply for the Aussie cricket job when Andrew McDonald disappears into the sunset.
CRASH: Settle ... but Ange does love his cricket. I liked the fact Baz McCullum has banned his England team from making negative statements. That would have rendered dear old Graham Gooch speechless?
JOHN: Leave Goochie alone! He’s actually very funny.
CRASH: That may be the case but god he gave some hangdog press conferences. He looked so sad that just listening to him talk made me want to burst into tears. England have to start thinking positively to win this series.
JOHN: There’ll be plenty of phony war chat from both teams leading into the First Test and then throughout the series. Good intentions about saying nothing disappear in the heat of battle and, anyway, a bit of needle on and off the field adds to the drama.
Baz doesn’t like the phrase Bazball. But the Aussies hate it even more, as though they own the copyright on attacking cricket. They even tried it with a lad called Sam Konstas. I’ve just looked him up – he averages 16 in ten Test innings.
CRASH: That’s actually a fair point. One of the reasons Australia does not like Bazball is that it’s a bit like someone stealing your apple pie recipe and coming back with a dish which was a bit more deluxe than yours. There is that vibe. That is why Australia is so desperate to bring it down. Because we like to think we own the copyright on attacking cricket.
Serious question. England’s 50 over team just went belly up on seaming decks in New Zealand. Bazball just doesn’t work on green decks. Is that a worry?
JOHN: England’s top-order was blown away by the Kiwis and you can guarantee there’ll be sporting pitches in the Ashes. Some of the Tests will be three-day shoot outs. The big question is – will the struggles of Ben Duckett, Joe Root, Jamie Smith and Jacob Bethell impact their performances in the Ashes? Or are white-ball, one-day failures in New Zealand three weeks before a red-ball Test series in Australia irrelevant?
England believe the likes of Mark Wood, Jofra Archer, Gus Atkinson, Brydon Carse and Josh Tongue have the firepower to inflict plenty of damage on Australia’s batting. Pat Cummins is obviously a huge loss for Australia.
CRASH: Cummins is probably the best big moment modern cricketer Australia has ever had with the possible exception of Shane Warne. His calmness is also underrated. And his batting. I reckon he will play two Tests maximum this series and none back-to-back.
CRASH: Who is the one England player who will surprise us?
JOHN: Think Joe Root will score his first Ashes century in Australia. Would that be a surprise?
CRASH: That thump you heard was me hitting the floor. But seriously, I sense we can all see this coming. It’s not as if Root has been terrible in Australia. He averages 35. For most batsmen that is a mild pass mark. I also sense the century drought will end this series. If I could have one bet it will be that Root will make one score of 150 or more. When he does reach three figures enough will never be enough.
CRASH: What do you make of Ben Stokes, the person and the captain? Australians are still trying to figure him out?
JOHN: He’s a talisman, inspiring leader with a hint of menace. He’ll support his players but they know not to mess with him. He captains aggressively but occasionally gets it wrong – like his declaration on day one of the Ashes opener at Edgbaston in 2023. The biggest worry, though, is that he’ll overbowl himself and get injured again.
CRASH: Five Tests in seven weeks is a brutal assignment. Someone may have to save Stokes from himself. He’s just such a warrior.
I’m staggered by Harry Brook’s record. And he just walks and talks like a winner. Is he as good as we think he is?
JOHN: Yeah, he’s super-talented and is capable of shots that take the breath away. He’s key to England’s chances. But he must learn to be a little more game smart at times. He was leading England to an apparently-certain win over India at the Oval in August but then attempted a wild slog, let go of his bat and was caught at mid-off for 111. England lost by six runs. Australia will bounce him a lot because the grounds are big and they think he’ll go for the hook and be caught on the boundary.
CRASH: I feel sorry for young spinner Shoaib Bashir ... maybe I have missed something but the poor kid just seems out of his depth? Overseas off-spinners have got terrible records in Australia.
JOHN: He’s still work in progress, for sure. He can extract turn and bounce at times but he lacks control. He might not even play in the first couple of Tests – England could go in with Will Jacks, who is a much better batsman and can bowl some off-spin. Or four seamers if Stokes can’t bowl much.
CRASH: Stuart Broad is sort of like a cult villain in Australia and will be everywhere as a commentator – what’s he like as a bloke and a commentator?
JOHN: One impressive thing about ‘the 39-year-old former medium-pacer’ (as the Courier Mail might call him) is that he doesn’t just turn up and wing it. He does a lot of research and has made a real attempt to learn how TV works. He’s articulate, looks good on camera and is not afraid to say things. The viewers will love him.
CRASH: So who are we tipping?
JOHN: I’ll go Australia 3-2. Can’t see any draws – England don’t do draws! It will be close and a potential cracker of a series with non-stop action. Don’t blink otherwise you’ll miss something. Have to fancy the Aussies – just – because they are so difficult to beat at home.
CRASH: I can’t believe this but I agree with that scoreline. For me the winning team will be the one which shores up its short suit. Australia’s weakness is batting. If you knew the openers were going to average 40 each Australia wins.
I like the fact both teams have soft spots. Australia could grow old quickly. It’s fascinating.
We never seem to get close Ashes series in Australia. Fasten your seat belts old boy … this could be it.
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