Robbo: Premiership Roos ‘shocked, but not surprised’ at ex-teammate Dean Laidley’s struggles

As news of former North Melbourne defender Dean Laidley’s arrest filtered through to his ex-teammates, offers of support were a common theme. Most were shocked, but some weren’t that surprised, Mark Robinson writes.

Mobile phones started pinging early Monday morning among the group of North Melbourne premiership players.

There was no judgment in their messages, only concern and offers of support for their mate, Dean Laidley

“What can I do to help?” was the common theme.

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Dean Laidley celebrates the Roos 1996 premiership with teammates.

Many of them woke to a photo of Laidley in women’s clothes and another that appeared to be a police mug shot showing their former teammate without the long, blonde wig but with dishevelled hair and smudged makeup.

Of course, most were shocked. But some weren’t that surprised.

Among football people there’s always been some curiosity about Laidley’s private life.

It’s been more rumour and mischievous speculation, but the weekend’s events seemed to reveal a dark side.

His fetish for women’s clothes, if that’s what he has, is entirely Laidley’s business. Some people may be disturbed by it, and it’s attracted a heavy dose of ridicule on social media. But others wouldn’t be critical. He likes dressing up as woman? No worries. Move on.

Other elements, as alleged, are more alarming.

Stalking a person is illegal, creepy and carries more than a hint of intimidation.

This was the second time in a month Laidley had allegedly undertaken such behaviour, police said.

If he is convicted of stalking he will face the consequences.

Police mug shot of Dean Laidley.

A picture that was circulating widely on Twitter.

For now, Laidley sits in a cell, and concerns for his wellbeing are widespread.

Friends have been worried about his behaviour and lifestyle choices in recent times. Certainly some of the speculation being peddled on social media, if true, gives those friends a shuddering reality check.

The AFL Players’ Association and the AFL Coaches’ Association are rallying behind the former player and coach.

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It’s not known if the players’ association, which does enormous work for troubled former players, was aware of Laidley’s situation.

It has been noted before with other fallen sportspeople, in fact for every person whose life is spiralling downwards, that it’s up to the individual involved to accept the help being offered.

What can you do if he or she doesn’t want it?

One view yesterday from someone close to him — not a former teammate — was that jail might be some sort of refuge for Laidley. He didn’t ask for bail, perhaps because he wanted to break the cycle of the life he was living.

That in itself seemed like a cry for help.

Laidley once coached his beloved Roos.

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Still, the prevailing view about the man his teammates called “Tunnel’’ is he can be socially awkward or shy, perhaps a bit weird, but is essentially good-hearted.

His confidence in his understanding of football is evident, and a conversation with Laidley about the game is riveting and educational.

The Kangaroos premiership teams of 1996 and 1999 are an intriguing group.

They don’t see each other or talk as much they’d like to, but when the sirens are wailing for any of them, they come running.

They did yesterday.

Laidley has a lawyer, Dee Giannopoulos, but the club will also offer them legal and welfare assistance.

One irony is Laidley, who is coach of Maribyrnong Park Football Club, which is affiliated in the Essendon District Football League, is working in a business involving mentoring and leadership, which includes in the prison system.

Dean Laidley coaching Maribyrnong Park in the EDFL. Picture: Jamie Morey

Originally published as Robbo: Premiership Roos ‘shocked, but not surprised’ at ex-teammate Dean Laidley’s struggles