Carlton’s Mia Austin opens up on her family’s unimaginable pain, and how she found strength in footy
While Carlton’s Mia Austin is experiencing all the highs on the footy field, the Blue is also balancing unimaginable family heartache. She opens up on the strength she’s found in footy, as her younger brother and cousin watch from above.
“Benny” Austin was Mia’s “little buddy”.
He was to be front and square with the entire Austin crew on Saturday night when she and Carlton play against the Brisbane Lions for an AFL Women’s grand final berth.
A Collingwood supporter, Ben, but a proud cousin in a Blues scarf when it came to the women’s game.
On Christmas Day, Ben should be playing backyard cricket, ever the competitor – even with family.
As a footy player, he was “scrawny”, but never shirked a contest.
Instead Ben, just 17, was late last month struck in the neck by a cricket ball while training in the nets at Ferntree Gully. Tragically, he passed away.
He was wearing a helmet but the position of the strike was, as his father described, “a freak accident”.
Just two days after his funeral, Mia is on the ride of her football life amid a period of her family’s deepest heartache and unimaginable tragedy.
Ben was farewelled in front of thousands on Thursday at Melbourne’s iconic Junction Oval.
The Melbourne marathon – a distance they had always dreamt of running together – would have gone right past there.
“He was just such a good kid … he was my little buddy,” Mia said this week.
“An absolute sports fanatic – he loved it – and I love my sports too, so we always bonded over that. There was backyard cricket on most Christmases.
“He always wanted to run a marathon and I said I would do that with him. We bonded over our sports and he was just the best kid.
“He loved his footy. Wasn’t short of energy. He was only a scrawny kid, but he would get in there, take hits and keep getting up.
“So polite, best manners, and would always put other people before him. He was such a good kid who had the world at his fingertips.”
Mia and her younger brother, Tyson, were having dinner on the Tuesday night Ben was at training in Melbourne’s outer-east when a text from their dad, Dave, pinged her phone.
His tone was evident, even in words on a screen, and indicated the sense of emergency.
Maybe he’d been hacked, she thought, like he had been recently. It couldn’t be real.
They rushed to the Monash Children’s Hospital in Clayton, where they spent the next four days as what Mia says felt like “hundreds of people came to say goodbye” to her treasured cousin and mate.
“The impact he had on so many people is just huge,” she said.
“Even being so public, it made it hard, but it’s nice that his legacy is out there and if it can stop it happening to someone else with proper protection, that’s great.
“It’s such a one in a million chance, but it can still happen.”
During one of the toughest moments of their lives, Mia and the Austin family are finding some semblance of solace in the idea that Ben isn’t alone.
In April of 2020, Mia said goodbye to her little brother, Jack, just days shy of his 12th birthday after life’s toughest one-on-one contest — cancer.
Five years later, the family found themselves back at the same hospital – the Monash Children’s – farewelling another close loved one far too soon.
Brothers Dave (Mia’s dad) and Jace (Ben’s dad) have both lost a son well before time.
But for the Austin family, there’s something in the boys – who should both have been 17 – being together again.
“As brothers coming through the same thing, they’ve found peace in the fact that they’re up there together and are back together. That’s almost a silver lining in it all,” Mia said with a tear.
Then comes a laugh.
“I reckon Jack would be up there probably burning a house down and Ben would be trying to stop him. Something like that.
“We’ve said that Ben’s probably been sent up there to stop Jack from destroying everything.”
Jack’s passing five years ago saw Mia channel her energy into football. She wasn’t sure what she’d do without him. No one did.
But amid life’s deepest anguish – now, twice – she sees a depth of perspective far beyond her own 20 years.
“I was only 16 (when Jack died), so I was all-in and used my energy … I wasn’t in a great place for a little bit and then thought, I’m going to shift my energy into this,” she said.
“And it’s gotten me here, which is unreal.
“It’s just to find the good in the things that you can and controlling the controllables, and looking after each other as a family.
“We’ve had such good support from everyone – friends, family, the footy and cricket communities have been unbelievable.”
The forward had been out of the team at various stages this season, playing just four home-and-away games before the Blues – who finished fifth – embarked on their first finals campaign since 2020.
She was OK with that. She’d worked hard, watched on with her family – including Ben’s parents Jace and Tracey – as the team donned black armbands in his honour in the final round against West Coast in a gesture she says overwhelmed them.
When Carlton coach Mathew Buck called her in after that game, deep in grief, she wasn’t sure what the meeting would hold.
“I always had that little bit of hope that maybe (I could earn a return), and I thought, ‘I’m just going to keep pushing and see what happens’,” she said.
“Got the call-up (to play) from Bucky not expecting it at all. A couple of tears were shed, but now it does make it feel worth it. It’s so special to be a part of it.
“A little part of me knew that it would never be the same when you’re not out there ... he gave me the news and I was so excited. I called mum, dad, the family and said, ‘You’re not going to believe it’.
“We’d had a tough week, so it was a bit of good news and something to look forward to.”
Buck knew she had been through plenty in the lead-up, but credited the young Blue for her “professional” approach to training so well that she truly earned her deserved recall.
She booted a goal in that elimination final against West Coast, kissed her wristband that bears Ben’s name and pointed to the boys in the sky.
“You know your teammates always have your back, but I feel like here, it’s genuine. Everyone genuinely cares and loves for each other so much,” Mia said.
“On the field, when I kicked my goal, I didn’t expect to cry but I also didn’t expect the emotion of all the teammates and everyone (coming to me). They all knew how much it meant and it was so special.
“It meant so much.”
When the Blues steamrolled Hawthorn in a semi-final last Saturday night, it was Mia who kicked the opening goal with the entire family in the stands.
Ben would have been there, like he was in Round 6, Blues scarf on.
It’s not lost on Mia to be balancing one of the most difficult periods in her life with the most exciting on the field.
“It’s just been (about) spending a lot of time with the family,” she said.
“It was just nice to lean on each other and have that support. I came in to training the day after we’d found out about Ben and tried to keep it on the downlow. I just wanted to get through training and it was a good distraction.
“I love being around the team, they just make you feel better. They got around me a lot. It’s just the love and support that helps you get through it.
“What we’re doing out there is just so fun and exciting. A little element of it, too, is that Benny was a great footy player, cricketer – he could have been anything. He loved coming down and watching my games.
“A little part of it is for him. To go out there and play with him by my side. It makes it worth it.”
The Brisbane Lions – a two-time AFLW premiership outfit – await on Saturday night in a preliminary final at Springfield, but the Blues say they feel like they’ve got something special in their midst.
Pre-game will see Austin pumping Ben’s favourite song – the New Radicals “You Get What You Give”.
“You’ve got the music in you”, it declares.
“This world is gonna pull through … you’ve got a reason to live.”
“I have that on and it’s just nice to think of him like he’s still here,” Mia said.
“I know how much he loves his footy.
“It’s really been one extreme to the other. Such a tragic thing to happen, but on the flip side we’re doing something so incredible and amazing.”
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