The Soda Room podcast: Kellie Gardner and Jeremy Finlayson on her terminal cancer diagnosis
Kellie Gardner thought she was through her year of bowel cancer hell. But then she and her fiance, Port star Jeremy Finlayson, received devastating news.
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Kellie Gardner and her fiance, Port Adelaide AFL star Jeremy Finlayson, thought they were through the worst of it.
They even went to Hawaii at the end of the 2022 football season to celebrate the fact Kellie, 27, had come through a horror year of chemotherapy, radiation and surgeries after being diagnosed with bowel cancer 12 months earlier.
The intensive treatment appeared to have worked and her doctors were reasonably confident they had removed the cancer and that it would not come back.
But then, in January, the nightmare returned. While relaxing with family in Port Lincoln over Christmas, Kellie felt a tightening of her chest.
She thought it was Covid-19 but decided to get it checked.
Her Covid-19 PCR test came back negative, so doctors ordered a CT scan that revealed a mass about the size of a tennis ball in her chest cavity.
A couple of weeks later, in mid-January, a bronchoscopy confirmed the pair’s worst fears – the cancer that had started in Kellie’s colon had metastasised and spread to her lungs.
And so, on Tuesday, the mother of 17-month-old Sophia will start another round of crippling treatment for stage 4 cancer, which doctors have told her is terminal.
The news has rocked the couple, their extended families and the Port Adelaide Football Club.
But today, in an exclusive sit-down for Mark Soderstrom’s The Soda Room podcast, the young couple have spoken about their determination to continue fighting, and of their hope that their story will help inspire others.
In the wake of January’s diagnoses, Jeremy and Kellie have postponed their October wedding.
They don’t talk about the future much anymore, but are determined to get through their next challenge so Sophia can have a normal childhood.
They also hope to one day provide her with a sibling.
They know IVF is unlikely to be an option until 12 or 18 months after Kellie’s next round of chemotherapy but are open to the ideas of surrogacy and egg donation.
“I would do it this year if I could, but obviously I can’t bring up a newborn right now, but, yeah, (having another baby is the goal)” Kellie says.
In the meantime, the couple are on a mission to raise awareness about cancer, especially bowel cancer, and want to remove the stigma around poo.
They want people to start talking openly about their poo, especially if they think something unusual is happening with their digestive system.
The federal government sends out bowel cancer testing kits to all Australians aged over 50, but Kellie and Jeremy have urged people not to wait until they hit that milestone.
Kellie was just 25 when she was first diagnosed, but they believe the cancer had probably been growing for three or four years before it was detected.
“If I had got it checked,” Kellie says. “If I had got all of my tummy problems checked and not just been thinking I had a lactose intolerance like every other Joe, Dick and Harry these days. If I had got it checked.”
Jeremy, 26, picks up her train of thought.
“So, her first one (cancer) was three to four years and then this one came back in six months,” he says.
“That just shows how quickly it can come back – that’s why you’ve got to get the first one real quick.”
Kellie has been open about her health battles on social media, has started signing off on her Instagram posts with “XOXO check your poo”.
She’s also proud to have heard of people using her story as a way to convince their doctors to offer them a colonoscopy, and wants to quash the notion that bowel cancer is a disease that only affects the elderly.
“You hear cancer and you attach it to a 60-year-old,” Kellie says.
“You don’t attach it to a 25-year-old who is quite healthy, who runs marathons and who just had a baby.
“I was a fit, young mum. You just don’t attach it to that.” As Kellie begins her treatment this week, Jeremy is recovering from an operation after an ankle syndesmosis injury at training last week.
But he says Kellie’s health battle inspires him to get back on the field as early as possible. And he says he’d do anything to bear some of the pain she’s about to endure.
“I’d take Kell’s stuff over this little ankle – I’d take if off her,” he says. “Wouldn’t even think twice.”
KELLIE GARDNER AND JEREMY FINLAYSON SPEAK TO MARK SODERSTROM IN THE SODA ROOM
The Soda Room is presented in collaboration with the Sunday Mail.
Below is an edited transcript of the podcast – listen in full in the player above. or go here.
MS: Kellie, Jeremy, welcome along. You guys are going through a really challenging time in your life together as a young couple. Tell us a little bit about what’s happened just recently over the past month.
KG: Yeah. Okay. So obviously, we know a lot of people know about what’s happened last year. So on December 22, was the day that it all happened. I had tight chest, thought I had COVID. Went in to get a special little concoction that people with immune compromised get to have. They obviously did my PCR, nothing came back so they did a CT just to be safe because you can’t ever be too safe with a stage four cancer patient. (That) showed up with a quite a large mass. In terms of size, I would say just a bit bigger than a tennis ball in my chest cavity. (They) scan me three or four times more after that. It looked like pneumonia, which would make sense with the tight chest I had. They sent all that off to my specialists. They weren’t convinced there was anything that I should be worried about. So they let me stay in Port Lincoln, which is where I was for Christmas with my family. And let me stay there for the week for the Christmas, enjoy the period. When we came back, I saw a lung doctor, he referred me to a surgeon to perform a bronchoscopy, which is a camera down the lungs or airways. Went into both sides, thought they could see a mucus plug … he got really excited thinking that I had pneumonia and he could just suck that out. It started bleeding. So they took a biopsy of it and it came back as cancer which means that my cancer that was in my colon had metastasised and spread to my lungs.
MS: So Sophia was born in August. So she was three and a half months old (when Kellie was first diagnosed with cancer in November, 2021). You get the move here to Port Adelaide from GWS. Within 10 days of moving back you get this diagnosis. What was the trigger? Why did you end up at the doctor’s Kell?
KG: So well obviously being post-partum. There’s lots of things that are happening with your body especially down the bottom half. In terms of like abdominals and whatnot. 10 days post-partum, I had a complete blockage in my bowel. I thought I was constipated because I was too scared to go to the toilet because you genuinely think everything’s gonna fall out. Turns out, I know now, obviously, I still didn’t know for quite some time, but I know now that I had a tumour completely blocking my colon. We were quite fine for three months, but I just had an urgency, a real urgency to go to the loo and couldn’t get any.. well I could pass it all, but not very much. And it was very, very often to the point that Jeremy started joking about needing a porta loo on a trailer while we’re driving. Because I kept asking him to pull over into like, just random, random places just so that I could go, and then I go sit down and nothing happened anyway. One day, I got really angry at him because it wasn’t a joke anymore. So then he was like, let’s go see a doctor then. And I was very lucky. I got a female doctor that took me really seriously really instantly. And she had me seeing a specialist within a few days. And he had me booked in the following week.
MS: I’m just trying to think as a parent you have your kids and you’re starting that whole journey in life. You’ve moved cities and all this. And then you find out that sort of information. Have you guys, being so young? How do you deal with it?
KG: In terms of coping, after getting this diagnosis, it was we were just in denial to be honest, like, you hear cancer and you attach it to a 60-year old. You don’t attach it to a 25 year old, quite healthy, run marathons just had a baby so clearly not many health problems. Like I was a fit young mum. You just don’t attach it to that. I was an angry woman.
MS: Understandably, yeah. Was that the main emotion, anger?
KG: It was. I was angry. That was probably about my main emotion. The other was scared. Not for myself. But for Sophia and Jezz.
MS: Jeremy is a big powerful man who’s used to physically being in control on a football field. How do you deal with that situation when you’ve, you know, you’re looking at Kell and you’ve got Sophie... How do you deal with that?
JF: I just try and be the rock I guess. Like, Kellie can’t work. So there’s one income gone. I’m the only income. We’ve got to raise our child. And we’ve got to still go on with life. I was actually talking to a couple of people at the club the other day, all my focus is that purpose. So the purpose is to get out there round one. So Kellie can sit in the grandstand and watch me play footy. (So we can) raise Soph. Soph can go to school. She can live a life. So I think that’s where I just come down to and just giving them the best opportunity at life I guess. That’s my role.
MS: So when you discover that this cancer has moved into the lung, what essentially do they tell you? What have you been told now to expect now that you’re about to start this treatment next week?
KG: So previously, it was about cure, now it’s about control and management. It was always stage four, but now it’s terminal. Obviously, life expectancy can be longer, like they haven’t given me a ‘like you’ve got six months to live make the most of it’ sort of thing. But obviously it’s spread to a new main function of your body, rather than just in the lymph nodes. Now, it’s all about controlling, managing that to a point that they can then do radiotherapy, possibly resect. I don’t need all of my two lungs to survive. No, I won’t run another marathon, but I don’t need my whole lung. They can cut off a lobe, which is what I want so badly. But yeah, so it’s just all about managing.
MS: Kellie, you sort of remind me of a little powerful pocket rocket. You know what I mean. You seem like you’re a force. Do you guys talk about the future?
KG: We did. Not so much anymore.
JF: It’s hard. Now. We’ve been going through fertility stuff. We do talk about the future a bit like trying to make Soph a sister or brother but …
MS: So you’ve been thinking about for Sophia to extend the family if that’s possible?
KG: Yeah, we’ve gone down every avenue. So I’ve just actually this week had a fertility appointment, got my bloods taken … I would do it this year, if I could. Obviously, I can’t bring up a newborn right now. But yeah,
MS: Jeremy, how do you feel? I mean, you’ve got surgery (to repair an injured syndesmosis). When we’re talking about what Kellie’s got to face from next week, I mean, just giving your ankle and your foot tided up it must put things into perspective for you. Because as a footballer when you get injured, it’s bloody shattering. But I can only imagine now because of what you’ve seen and seen how strong your partner is.. does it put all that other stuff into perspective?
JF: Everyone’s coming up yesterday saying, oh, sorry. So I was just like, there are worse off people than me like it’s just a little ankle. It just comes back to that purpose of why I want to play footy. if they say six weeks I’ll make it three. Just stuff like that. Just so Kell can come and sit there when she’s not feeling the greatest. Just to come to a game and watch us here at Adelaide Oval. Even if I’m not playing, We’ll still drag her out. I know that makes her happy.
MS: You two are wise beyond your years. There’s no doubt because obviously what you’ve been through and I can imagine partnership-wise you must lean on each other unbelievably well. Tell us about Kellie, Jeremy. Tell me about what you see.
JF: She’s just a super human I guess. Just for someone who go through what she’s done. And then hit it head on... I know what I’d be doing, I’d be curled up in bed and sorry for myself, but she wants to get out there and help people and like she’s fighting for a life really.
MS: Are you scared, Kell?
KG: Yeah. Yeah, of course, I am. Like I was probably more scared at the initial diagnosis... 18 months ago. But now it’s more so I’m scared to walk into treatment. Because I know what it’s going to be like, well, to an extent. I know, that chair is going to it’s gonna be hard to sit in the chair. But in terms of being scared for the future, and yeah, yes, yes. But no, because I’d put so much trust in my medical team. I know there’s so many alternative things out there. And if I’m not okay, I know that he still will be with Soph, so …
MS: I know you’re very keen to share your story. Because of the opportunities you can provide for other people …
KG: It already has and it just makes me so goddamn happy. I’ve had people reach out and say they’ve showed my Instagram for example, as much as that sounds strange, like a social media page to the doctor and have been, well she’s 26. So if she’s been able to have a colonoscopy, why can’t I. And they’ve used me as almost like an advocate for them to then be given a referral to have a colonoscopy. Maybe not got the greatest of news but because of me telling my story they’ve checked, like checked in they’ve made sure they listen to their body. They’ve use me as yeah, as I said, as an advocate and they’ve gotten what they want out of their doctors. And it makes me so happy that they’ve caught things either at an early stage or court, something that wasn’t too much of a big deal, but knowing that they’ve that, because of me sharing my story is the only reason they’ve pushed to get themselves checked.
It makes me so proud and so happy.
MS: It seems like you’re on a mission. What is your mission?
KG: I just want everyone to get the same treatment that I have through my through my journey. I hope no one ever has to go through what I’m going through. But to have a doctor that believes their symptoms or trusts that they need more further medical help. I just want them to know that it’s so much more common in younger people to get these medical issues. Use me, I don’t care, throw my Instagram... get your doctor to ring me, I’ll make sure they get you a colonoscopy or whatever it is that you need.
MS: Is there a reluctance from doctors to...
KG: 100 per cent, it’s an old person’s disease? It is it’s a 60-year-old person’s disease
MS: It’s like you’re on a mission to normalise poo chat?
KG: I signed off one of my updates the other day with you know, the Gossip Girl XOXO, I signed off XOXO check your poo and that is my new sign off.
MS: Jeremy, I was asking you before you know about Kell and what you think but to hear her talking about this goal or this path that you’re going on to help other people? Does it blow your mind that this is this is your fiance?
JF: Yeah, well, I’m still in denial. Yeah, it’s all happening. Me listening to her, it’s like she works for the cancer council or something. but I’ve always been in denial since she got diagnosed the first 18 months ago. I’ve been in denial and still am because we’re so young. I actually don’t know how she can do it, really.
MS: So you go through this stage of... Do you know, sort of time frames.
KG: So I’ve got a 12 week block, and then we reassess, 12 week block, reassess. So everything’s gonna be 12 week blocks now, which is so much more manageable than thinking like, what am I going to be doing in October? Yeah. Which is when we’re meant to be getting married.
MS: I was about to say, I know what you’re going to be doing in October.
KG: No, we’re postponing. We can’t even think about it.. it’s just, it’s just not an expense that is important to us. Like we’re basically married now. What’s, what’s it gonna change besides a piece of papers being signed? So we’ll postpone it. We don’t know what the side effects are. I’ve never done this drug before to different chemo.
MS: If you could tell the world a message from everything that you’ve been through, what would it be?
KG: Listen to your gut. If you think something’s wrong, get it checked. If you think something is wrong, even if it’s just a dark spot on your skin, go get it checked even if it’s a bruise, doesn’t matter you got it checked. it doesn’t even have to be cancer related, just anything get it checked. That’s what medical professionals are there for that is their job. Use them
MS: Guys, I can’t thank you enough for having the courage to share your story. I’m inspired by both of you and particularly you Kell, because it’s like what Jeremy said. I think if I was in a similar situation, I’ll be rolled up in the corner like you mentioned Jeremy
KG: And I do sometimes but it’s normal. It’s not often. But obviously if I’m not feeling great if I’m hating the world, the easiest way is to block myself off. So Sophia doesn’t see it. I refuse to show motion in front of her. I don’t want her to have to see that. She’s a baby. She’s innocent, she’s naive, she doesn’t need to …
MS: Kell you appear like a force of nature. Obviously, you’ve got this really strong powerful message you want to get across. And if this in some small way can help you do that. I’m glad that we’ve been able to do that but you just keep doing what you’re doing because you are making an enormous difference in people’s lives. It’s an absolute pleasure to have you guys on here and Jeremy, best of luck (with your injury).
JF: I’ll take Kell’s stuff over this little ankle. I’d take it off her … Yep, wouldn’t even think twice. (Pause) It’ll be right. Hit it head on, hey.
Originally published as The Soda Room podcast: Kellie Gardner and Jeremy Finlayson on her terminal cancer diagnosis
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