Mt Gambier suicides of Clarice Simmonds and Kumari Armener highlight SA’s silent mental health pandemic
Ella Simmonds lost her mother and younger sister to suicide within four months. She details the pain, grief, anger and her plea for more help for those in need.
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Everyday, Ella Simmonds wakes up to a world without her mother and sister.
In November last year, the 19-year-old lost her mother Kumari Armener to suicide.
Four months later, her younger sister Clarice Simmonds, 16, also took her own life.
“I didn’t process what was happening, people would say to me ‘I’m so sorry’, and my initial thought was ‘why?’,” Ella said.
“I was living in my own world of denial, I still am to be honest.”
Ella is sharing her story as part of The Advertiser’s Can We Talk campaign that calls attention to rising suicide rates throughout South Australia.
She believes education, tailored treatment options and more regional resources could make all the difference.
On November 26 last year, Mrs Armener was reported missing from Mt Gambier in the state’s South-East.
Ella was living in southwest Victoria and returned to Mt Gambier following the news of her mother’s disappearance.
The next day, the 38-year-old’s body was found about 30km northwest of the regional hub.
Ella doesn’t recall much in the days that followed and described her experience as having an emotional block.
“The only thing I remember is all of these people messaging and showing up to the house,” she said.
Mrs Armener was a well-known and respected member of the community.
She was born in Sri Lanka, but grew up in the South Australian country town of Millicent, before moving her family to Mt Gambier around 15 years ago.
The mother of six owned a local delivery business, contracting her services out to various merchants throughout the city.
Ella said one of her fondest memories was joining her mother on delivery runs.
“When I got my driver’s licence, I would keep her company and we would just chat,” she said.
In her off time, Mrs Armener enjoyed keeping fit and was a regular visitor to the Little Blue Lake.
“We would also swim there during summer, she liked being outside and in nature,” Ella said.
No one knew the severity of Mrs Armener’s struggle.
“She had been admitted to hospital … you could tell stuff was getting a bit hard for her, but we didn’t realise the extent,” Ella said.
Ella didn’t see Mrs Armener for a number of weeks before her death, but the pair would exchange frequent text messages.
“She showed more interest and the last message was about our dog, Cooma,” Ella said.
“I’ve heard this is common, once a person has made the decision.”
Ella has a particularly special memento of her mother: her Koolie puppy, Fly.
“Fly was born on the last day I spoke to Mum … my best friend was selling her and I said ‘I need that dog’,” Ella said.
Ella split her time between Victoria and Mt Gambier, to support her siblings and stepfather, Jason Spehr.
During this period, Ella saw Clarice more often, but nothing alerted her to her sister’s extreme turmoil and Clarice died on March 13 this year at the age of 16.
Ella experienced similar feelings of denial, but channelled the emotion she did feel into anger.
“I was more angry than upset, Clarice had been let down by everyone,” Ella said.
“I think I was partially angry at her too, I couldn’t help but think ‘Why did she do this?’”
Clarice was born in Adelaide, but spent most of her childhood and early adolescence in Mt Gambier.
In the first years of her high schooling, Clarice was bullied and the conflict became physical.
On one occasion Ella stepped in to break up an altercation – her actions a testament to the bond the sisters shared.
“She was the girly-girl and I was more tom-boy … we would butt heads when we were younger, but as we got older we got closer and clicked well,” Ella said.
“She would cut my hair in our bathroom, one time she even gave me a Dora The Explorer fringe.”
Clarice also practised her hairdressing skills on her own head, donating her hair in support of her aunty who was diagnosed with breast cancer.
“She pulled it off and was actually really skilled,” Ella said.
Clarice was the artistic child of the family and from a young age, she trained in callisthenics and developed a passion for drawing, painting and singing.
Similar to her mother, Clarice was in higher spirits in the days before her death.
“We would go run the dogs … she claimed to hate Cooma, but she would always go to sleep with him by her side,” Ella said,
“She nicknamed him Coomy, I call him that now.”
The deaths of her mother and sister raised many questions for Ella.
Both Mrs Armener and Clarice were prescribed medication to assist with their mental health, but Ella believes this was the wrong approach to their treatment.
“It’s not one-size-fits all, just because they can send you home with medication doesn’t mean it’s going to make everything better,” Ella said.
Ella also expressed concerns about mental health education and resources in regional areas.
“You would think there would be more options, being the second biggest city in the state – if there is, it’s private and it costs an arm and a leg,” she said.
“There also needs to be more mental health education and counsellors in schools.
“So many people don’t understand what they are feeling or don’t think it’s a problem … that’s the issue.”
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Originally published as Mt Gambier suicides of Clarice Simmonds and Kumari Armener highlight SA’s silent mental health pandemic
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