‘It’s not a nightmare, it’s real life’: Mum Karen Lynch speaks on the unexpected death of her son William Pfeiffer

SA mum-of-three Karen Lynch had no idea when she left on a girl’s trip that her world would never be the same again.

William Pfeiffer, who died suddenly in his sleep at 14, with his mum, Karen Lynch on her wedding day. Picture: Simon Bills

When Karen Lynch received a call from her mum while away on a girls trip, she had no idea her entire world would change.

“She couldn’t speak at the time so a paramedic had to get on the phone and tell me” Ms Lynch told The Advertiser.

Her “happy and healthy” 14-year-old son, William Pfeiffer, who was staying with her parents along with his siblings, Harry and Grace, had fallen asleep the night before and never woke up.

“I just fell to the ground,” the 44-year-old mum said.

“My whole world shattered, it was the worst moment of my life. It was just awful. My heart is broken.”

William Pfeiffer with his siblings, older brother Harry Pfeiffer and sister Grace Lynch, and mum Karen Lynch. Picture: Jackie Wood

William Pfeiffer (right) with his brother Harry. Picture: Supplied

The day after her son died police came to Ms Lynch’s house in Queenstown to drop off a brochure for the Red Tree Foundation — a grief counselling service initiative by SIDS and Kids SA.

Since the family have been attending the service.

“It’s the most horrible thing you could ever go through,” Ms Lynch said.

“You don’t just lose them once, you lose them everyday when you wake up and realise it’s still not just a nightmare and it’s still real.

“Everything about life changes, everything, even you become a new person. Who I look at in the mirror is a completely different person to who I was the today before he died.

“We’ve had to learn … what our new normal is. It’s just so heartbreaking, it’s the hardest thing that I’ll ever do.”

Ms Lynch said losing her son William (pictured) was the hardest thing she’ll ever go through. Picture: Simon Bills

Following William’s death his family used the Red Tree Foundation’s counselling service. Picture: Supplied

In 2022 the state government committed $800,000 over four years to SIDS and Kids SA to expand its Red Tree Foundation grief counselling service.

The funding has allowed the organisation to offer support to families affected by the unexpected death of a child aged up to 17 years – previously the age limit was six years, leaving many families experiencing unimaginable grief without the support they need, which would’ve included Ms Lynch and her family.

“If I had to pay for three of us to have grief counselling, I couldn’t afford it,” Ms Lynch said.

“I’d be having to choose between who needed it the most at the end.

“So the fact that there is a service that can help … it means we can access a grief counselling service, because doing it on our own … none of us know how to deal with it.”

Demian and Hayley Wolf at the Gawler Hospital after the birth of their stillborn son Zen. Picture: Supplied

The last thing Ms Lynch said to her son, who died on August 20 2023, was ‘I love you mate’.

“He said ‘I love you too’,” she said.

For Hayley and Demian Wolf who lost their son Zen in April 2023 after a stillbirth at 38 weeks and three days, Red Tree Foundation has been a blessing.

“When we lost our son, it was completely unexpected,” Mr Wolf said.

“She felt movement that morning but by the time she had her prenatal check-up at lunchtime, there was no heartbeat. Hayley had to be induced to give birth.”

Ms Wolf said she felt “so blessed to have access to this organisation”.

“Red Tree Foundation have had the tools and experience to help us navigate one of the worst experiences you can go through.”

Demian and Hayley Wolf have used the Red Tree Foundation counselling services to navigate the grief of losing their son. Picture: Supplied

Between July 1 2022 and March 31 2024, the families of 316 babies, children and teens have been referred to the Red Tree Foundation.

Last year alone the foundation was able to offer 2099 counselling sessions, a 73 per cent increase on the 1210 sessions provided in 2020.

“The unexpected loss of a child is unimaginable and my heart breaks for any family going through this,” Health Minister Chris Picton said.

“It is incredibly important for families to be able to access bereavement counselling without delay and I’m proud that our government is helping many more families receive the support they need.”

Red Tree Foundation CEO Liza Jankowski said they are proud to offer free bereavement support to any parent who is affected by the sudden death of a child, from conception to 17 years of age.

“The response to the expanded services has been phenomenal,” she said.

“The additional funding has allowed us to help even more families, ensuring that support is always available for those who seek it.”

For more informaiton about the Red Tree Foundation, click here.

Originally published as ‘It’s not a nightmare, it’s real life’: Mum Karen Lynch speaks on the unexpected death of her son William Pfeiffer