Amy Staunton’s sister Emily shares heartbreak of entering motherhood while mourning her sister’s loss

Amy Staunton tragically drowned three years ago and now her sister shares the heartbreak of losing her sibling while entering motherhood and why she’s still sending her text messages.

There isn’t a single day that goes by that Emily Staunton doesn’t miss her little sister.

Three years ago her world was turned upside down after her fearless “mini me” Amy, 17, drowned in a freak accident while celebrating on New Year’s Eve, 2021.

Now preparing to welcome her first child, a boy, in March, Emily is suffering from a grief that comes not only from losing Amy, but mourning the experiences that she’ll never have.

“The big thing that gets me is that he’s never going to meet his aunty, she’ll never meet her nephew (...) it kills me everyday,” she said.

“She was capable of anything, like, the world was her oyster and her life was just beginning.

“The birthday just gone for Amy, she would have been 20. And it’s something you struggle to wrap your head around sometimes, like they should still be here.”

Amy Staunton went missing on New Year’s Eve 2021 and her body was found the next day, New Year’s day 2022. Pictures: Supplied

Amy with her horse Dexter which she bought as a foal. Picture: Supplied

Amy was celebrating New Year’s Eve on the River Murray with family friends when she fell from their private barge near Swan Reach hours before midnight.

She had been swimming moments before tragedy struck and was seated in the space left by an open-gate on the fenced-in vessel with her feet hanging in front of her.

Emily had decided to stay home that night, waking in the early hours of the morning to police at the door telling her that while a search was under way, she should prepare for the worst.

“It was almost like my heart instantly turned to black in that moment ‘cause I knew that she was gone,” she said.

“You never expect to be that person that the police come and knock on your door at one o’clock in the morning to tell you your loved ones (missing or) dead.

“It’s your worst nightmare. It plays over and over again in my head everyday.”

After 16 hours of searching, divers tragically recovered Amy’s body from the river on New Year’s Day, 2022.

Amy with her cherished horse Elliot just days before she died. Picture: Supplied

The first few months that followed were “hell” for the now 29-year-old who struggled both mentally and physically to come to terms with Amy’s death.

“I isolated myself, I locked myself away. I slept for days and days, weeks even,” she said.

“I was either overeating or undereating, there was no consistency.

“All my friends and I drifted apart. I became really bitter, I had a lot of hatred and anger.”

Some of the text messages sent by Amy Staunton’s big sister Emily in the two years since she has died. Supplied by Emily

Her way of coping was by sending text messages to Amy, often about how much she wished they could be together.

“Miss you baby girl. This world is so cruel, I hate this universe so much. You were too young to leave, you still had your whole life ahead of you …” one text read.

“Not being able to talk to you or see your face or give you a hug f***ing kills me. You weren’t just my sister, you were my best friend and I hate that the universe has taken you away from us. Seriously, just need you more than ever,” she wrote in another.

She also joined sibling loss support groups online, finding comfort in knowing that she wasn’t “alone in this pain you feel.”

Amy as a toddler with older siblings Alex and Emily. Picture: Supplied

But sibling grief is “one of the most neglected” and often overlooked by that of surviving parents, partners and children.

“Siblings are often the forgotten mourners,” she said.

“Its usually the parents or the partners or the children of that person (that take precedence).

“Everyone says to be there for your mum, be there for your dad and you do but who’s there to look after you?”

Talking about Amy is bittersweet, stirring both tears and laughter from Emily who can’t help but smile recalling the times they spent together and the inside jokes that only they could understand.

Amy was adored by her big sister from the moment she was born. Picture: Supplied

Not a day goes by where Emily doesn’t think of her baby sister. Picture: Supplied by family

Despite being almost 10 years apart in age, they were as thick as thieves with Emily helping raise her little sister after their parents separated.

“We were best friends, but worst enemies,” she laughed.

“It was just me, mum and Amy for a while and it was good. She was my mini-me, she was my shadow.

“She was like my own child, my sister all-in-one. She was fierce, loyal, she was so brave. She was basically everything you want to be in a person.”

A testament to their everlasting bond is the tattoo of a purple horse – Amy’s favourite animal and colour – on Emily’s right arm with the script “sisters forever.”

Emily has vowed to keep her sister’s memory alive. Picture Brett Hartwig

While she’s learnt to live with the grief, each day is still an uphill battle.

But the upcoming birth of her son has been a blessing, giving both Emily and her mum, Jennifer, a new lease on life.

“I remember when I found out I was pregnant, I (told) my mum I was pregnant and she said, you know what, this baby has given me something to live for again and likewise.”

And although they won’t meet, her son will grow up with stories of Amy who would be “pretty stoked” to be his “cool aunty.”

“Even though he never knew her, he will always know her because I still talk about her like she’s still here and I’m always going to do that because at the end of the day she’s still here in my heart,” she said.

“I refuse to let her legacy die. I refuse to let her name go unsaid because she deserves to be recognised, she shouldn’t be forgotten.”

Originally published as Amy Staunton’s sister Emily shares heartbreak of entering motherhood while mourning her sister’s loss