Real reason Gold Coast Titans player Ash Taylor nearly quit football and $1m a season contract

Ash Taylor has revealed the devastating truth behind his seven-month exodus, how he nearly quit the game - along with a $1m a season contract - and how online trolls tortured his grieving young family, as they suffered in silence.

“PEOPLE forget I’m human too.”

Grappling with the silent grief of two miscarriages as online trolls targeted his already hurting family, Titans’ marquee player Ash Taylor has admitted for the first time he was ready to turn his back on a $1 million-a-year deal.

While pay-cheque pressure played a role in the star’s disintegrating performances on the field, Taylor reveals it was heartache on the home front that almost caused him to walk away from the game he loved.

Today, Oscar, a fat-cheeked forward in the making at nine-weeks-old, is comfortably cradled in one arm, the other free to fidget with the footy that comes so easily to hand.

Partner Montana Stenner is at his side, tugging a teeny Titans jersey over their son’s wildly waving arms.

“It was hard, when he was going through it and I was pregnant at the time as well,” Stenner admits of Ash’s controversial exodus from rugby league, seven months after the star took personal leave to deal with mental health issues.

“You could tell he wasn’t enjoying it … he used to love going to training and exercising, but he got to a point where he was just deflated. He didn’t want to be there.

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Ash Taylor with his baby Oscar. Picture: Jerad Williams

“We had a few problems even trying to fall pregnant, that happened the year before, and it was all building up, and then Ash started having problems on the field and it exploded.”

Ash and Montana fell in love four years ago. A family was always on the cards.

“I wanted kids young, so I could grow up with them … and they could help me grow up too,” Ash says.

“We started trying early,” Montana continues.

“Everyone said, ‘You’ll fall pregnant easily, you’re young’ but we tried for a year and nothing was happening. I fell pregnant, then I had a miscarriage.

“(It turned out I had) polycystic ovaries, so I went and saw a specialist and they put me on medication. I feel pregnant six months later and then we had another miscarriage.

“I was shattered. Obviously Ash still had to go to training and put on a happy face, go to games and put on a happy face.”

As the young family struggled, the pressure was building on the field as fans accused Taylor of dropping the ball.

“People were messaging my partner and my family about my performance,” he says.

“That’s when it crosses a line. You can message me all you want because I take it as part of the job, but there’s no need to bring my family into it.”

“It was complete strangers on Instagram,” Stenner says. “Things like, ‘tell your boyfriend he’s the s***est bloke’, were sent to me to try and get to him.

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Ash Taylor with his partner Montana and their baby Oscar. Picture: Jerad Williams

“I’m so defensive of anyone I love. I just wanted to go back at them but there was no point. They don’t listen.

“People think (football players) are not people. They can say whatever they want to them, do whatever they want and it’s like they’re just a robot.”

Ash kept tight-lipped, his teammates unaware he was barely treading water.

“That’s anyone’s mentality – to try not let too many people know your personal business,” he says.

“It wasn’t until I opened up that people started to realise it’s just a game of footy.

“I mean it’s a job and yes we get paid good money, but at the end of the day we’re human.

“I’m sure everyone makes mistakes in their jobs and you don’t see me messaging their families saying you’re doing a s*** job, you should do this and this.

“At the end of the day you’ve got to stand up. That’s what I’m going to start doing now, speaking my opinion.”

There wasn’t a specific moment when he realised he wasn’t OK, he says. “It just boiled over.”

“Most guys don’t like talking about their feelings; they let their actions speak louder than their words, but in this case I needed to use my words or the outcome could have been very different than what it is now.

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Ashley Taylor is seen during the Gold Coast Titans training session on the Gold Coast, Wednesday, June 26, 2019. (AAP Image/Dave Hunt)

“It was like a chain reaction. My manager brought it up with me, asking if I was actually going OK because he could tell something was off. It wasn’t until I told him and then told Montana and then my family then I had to tell the coach and the Titans what was going on.

“I had to tell my story about six different times to six different people to try and get the right help.

“I just told them what was happening in my life and that I couldn’t take it all at once.

“I needed to take time away from it all to try and escape if you want to call it that. To try and get back on the right track.

“I wasn’t playing like I know I can play. I wasn’t the person I knew I could be. There was a lot of pressure and it all got to me at once.

“I went back home – St George out west – for four or five days, spoke to a few of my uncles, my mum and dad, and I came back and got the help I needed.”

When the couple fell pregnant a third time they barely dared to hope.

“I didn’t think I told too many people. We were pretty excited when we first found out about (the other pregnancies) and then had to tell family what had happened,” Taylor says.

“We were scared it was going to happen again.”

They were due a happy end.

“We were just waiting the whole time for something to go wrong, but we breezed the whole way through,” Stenner says.

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Oscar at nine weeks old. Picture: Jerad Williams

“We didn’t quite make it to 40 weeks. I had been due on Christmas Day but I got induced.”

Ash was in the delivery room, if not exactly on the frontline, when Oscar was born in December.

“I cut the cord. Lucky Montana’s mum was there to help – it was a team effort,” he says.

Montana laughs: “He had no idea what he was in for. He was sitting in the corner, hiding behind my mum.”

Fatherhood has been “a life changer” for Ash, even if afternoon nappy duty involves a degree of trial and error.

“It makes me a lot happier knowing that I have a little one to play for now. I have to set the pathway for him, set him up for long after I finish footy.

“I can’t wait until I can take him on the field and he’s running around having fun, but for now I’ll just take the smiles whenever I get them.

Knowing his two biggest fans will be on the sidelines, Taylor is optimistic this year will be different.

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Ash Taylor is optimistic about the year ahead. Pics Adam Head

Stenner, who made the trek to Perth last week for the NRL Nines, plans on being at as many games as she can.

“I’m doing what I love for footy, but I have a new love now and I want to be proud of both,” Taylor says.

“It’s a whole new meaning now. I’m playing for somebody instead of just playing the game for the game.”

Taylor says his story could have had a very different ending.

“It’s a tough gig for any footy player, it’s not an easy sport. Everyone’s big, strong, has the ability to win a competition.

“People just have to realise that, if you aren’t playing your best footy every week, there’s 13 players on the field and individuals are going to make mistakes.

“We copped it on the chin last year, but this year we want to stand up and have good performances.

“I’ve seen a fair few family and friends commit suicide because they didn’t ask for help. There’s been too many in my community where I’m from.

“Speaking up … it’s a challenge, but it has to be done, to get this story out there. I hope it helps somebody. I hope it gets through to at least one person.”

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