Why men-only private clubs give me the ick

Women are now being allowed to do this – the only problem is they don’t want to be anywhere near it.

Frances Whiting. Picture: Mark Calleja

It was Groucho Marx who once famously said he wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have him.

I was reminded of Groucho’s words recently when I read that one of Australia’s oldest, men-only private clubs, Melbourne’s Savage Club, has – very reluctantly – said they will now welcome women into their dining rooms. Or, as they call we gals, “Lady Guests”.

And you know what? I don’t want to be a “Lady Guest”. Somehow that term gives me what the young people would call the “ick”. I also polled several of my Lady Friends, and they said it gave them the ick too. In fact, one of my Lady Friends said it was right up there with “moist”.

The Savage Club in Melbourne.

Now, The Savage Club describes itself as “the home of bohemian Melbourne for well over a century that provides a place for artists, intellectuals and business leaders to share ideas and good company”. Another member said the club was based on “bohemianism, free love, and frugality”.

It’s not that bohemian though, is it? Because it seems that the “good company” does not include women.

In a survey of the club’s members conducted last year, only two per cent of respondents – four men in total – voted in favour of allowing the womenfolk in.

Not as full, card-carrying members anyway. They can, however, now spend their money there, with the club recently voting for a six-month “mixed dining” trial … those crazy, free loving, intellectual bohemians.

It seems that these tough economic times have caught up with the club, with its current president recently penning a letter to its members to illustrate its falling economic fortunes.

“Dear Brother Savages,” he wrote, “sadly, the Dining Room usage, particularly on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, has diminished to such a level that it has become uneconomic and dispiriting for staff members.”

The solution? Well desperate times call for desperate measures – enter the Lady Guests who will now be allowed to eat in a specially reserved “alcove”, but only on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and presumably in a cordoned-off area so as not to allow any of those pesky female pheromones to waft into the club and frighten the Savages. Or for any of that “free love” to occur – keep those Lady Guests and their wily ways well away from us bohemians and free thinkers, thank you very much.

The Australian Club in Melbourne.

Now, the Savages are not alone in their desire to keep the women at home where they belong, tending to the crops and spinning the flax. Across Australia several male-only clubs have faced the same dilemma.

The Australian Club, also in Melbourne, voted against allowing female members in 2022, while Brisbane’s Tattersalls Club does now allow female membership – but only after losing a legal challenge. In London, only three females thus far have made the grade into the very fancy Garrick Club since it allowed Lady Guests in last year – and one of them is Dame Judi Dench, so that’s how high that particular bar is set.

In the meantime, I do realise that by writing this I have forever ruined my own chances of becoming a Lady Guest at the Savage Club, but I think I’m with Groucho on this one. I am sobbing into my needlework as we speak.

Originally published as Why men-only private clubs give me the ick