The Gold Coast’s history might have been very different if it had been given one of these names

As we celebrate the 60th anniversary of the naming of the Gold Coast, consider how different things could have turned out for our city if it had instead been called any of these other appalling proposed names

WHAT’S in a name?

The dawn of 2019 brought with it not only the annual list of most popular baby names, from high-class Charlotte to bogan Abcde (pronounced Absidee), but also the news that this year marks the 60th anniversary of our city being named the Gold Coast.

And just like Abcde is more likely to become a stripper than Charlotte, I wonder what part nominative determinism has played in our city’s development.

Where would we be if we remained named the South Coast?

It seems such a weak, washed-out moniker … less a home for hotels and high-rises, more a town of motels.

Personally, I would refuse to live in a city named for its geographical location in relation to Brisbane.

Especially the south side of Brisbane.

If I wanted to live in the arse end of Brisbane, I’d live in, well, Brisbane. Maybe Logan at a pinch. (Or is that at a pucker?)

Names are important. How they look, how they sound, how they can be twisted.

Choosing the right name for your baby has never been more important. Picture: Alex Coppel.

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I refused to name my own daughter Charlotte as I was concerned pairing it with Moore would lead to Harlot Whore.

No? Just me?

And while my maiden name Wason has given me plenty of strife (FYI it rhymes with Mason), I chose to keep it when I became a Moore wife.

Ann Moore is just too blunt, but softening it to Annie Moore sounds too much like “enema’’.

No? Just me?

At the very least, I didn’t want people singing “You don’t bring me flowers, Annie Moore’’.

But it’s nothing compared to a friend of a friend with the absolutely unforgettable title of BJ Hardick.

Poor bugger, Facebook keeps deleting his profile because they think he’s a Russian sex worker.

He had to submit his birth certificate to prove he is, in fact, Mr Hardick.

Actually, he’s Dr Hardick.

That’s right, he’s a bone doctor.

But back to the Gold Coast. As a name, it just feels right.

We’re flashy, shiny, glittery, a little gaudy and worth every cent our tourists spend here.

Would the Gold Coast have done so well if was still called South Coast? Picture Glenn Hampson

Funnily enough, the name was at first considered derogatory.

The South Coast (such a bad name) was super popular with returned servicemen post-World War II. However, inflated prices for real estate led to the nickname of “Gold Coast’’ from 1950.

So … apparently nothing has changed?

But as the tourism industry grew in the 1950s, local businesses began to adopt the term in their names, and on October 23, 1958, the South Coast Town Council was renamed Gold Coast Town Council. We were proclaimed a city less than one year later.

Bless.

I can’t even think now of what else we could possibly be called. The Sunshine Coast has a nice ring to it, but some little country town has already taken it.

My husband suggests “Trevor’’, which I must admit I quite like.

Yet it’s no longer our name but the celebration of it that is now contentious.

Councillor Dawn Crichlow disagrees with mayor Tom Tate’s plans to celebrate the city’s 60th birthday. Picture: Jerad Williams

Still, the fact that our proposed 60th birthday party is itself now a subject of controversy seems only fitting.

Mayor Tom Tate announced the party plans for the city’s diamond jubilee with support from some of the state’s most powerful figures, but veteran Southport councillor Dawn Crichlow – no stranger to the headlines herself – considers it self-indulgent and something the council has no business doing.

But that’s exactly how it should be.

We’re a city which has never been interested in fence-sitting or people pleasing. We are what we are, love us or leave us.

This is the Gold Coast – go big or go home.

Or to Brisbane.