Opinion: Gold Coast Bulletin’s Alexandria Utting discusses have lost our manners

HAS being more connected made us more out of touch than ever? In recent years, I’ve become a real RSVP ‘yes’ first, decide whether to attend later kind of girl. Have we become a rude society?

Etiquette expert, The Lindy Charm School for Girls headmistress Chrissy Keepence says responding to an invitation and sticking to it shows “respect” for yourself and the person who has taken the time to invite you. Picture: iStock.

HAS being more connected made us more out of touch than ever?

In recent years, I’ve become a real RSVP ‘yes’ first, decide whether to attend later kind of girl.

The advent of the Facebook event has made it so easy to commit but even easier to double book, get busy or just not turn up because staying at home seems more appealing.

I almost always say I can go even if I might not be able to make it because I feel like I won’t get another chance to respond before a notification, email, text or phone call pops up on my phone to distract me.

I couldn’t count the times I’ve had to cancel at the last minute or rush out and buy a present because I’ve forgotten I’m meant to be somewhere in an hour.

I can’t even remember the last time I got an invitation in the post.

But whenever I have, I’ve treated that little paper card differently, writing the date on the calendar and making sure I have a present wrapped well in advance.

It wasn’t until I heard about eight-year-old Mia, who invited her whole class to her birthday party and of the people who actually bothered to RSVP only two came to the party, that I realised my tendency to tentatively respond ‘yes’ was a pretty low act.

Etiquette expert, The Lindy Charm School for Girls headmistress Chrissy Keepence says responding to an invitation and sticking to it shows “respect” for yourself and the person who has taken the time to invite you.

She says even though social media has “watered down” birthday party, baby shower and even wedding invites, it doesn’t make not following through on a commitment to attend any less rude.

“Social media is so quick and fast and then it’s gone. Nothing lingers in your mind, in your heart and thoughts anymore,” she says.

“Whatever the medium, the underlying thing is it’s good manners to respond ... It’s really rude to not turn up when you’ve said you will. If you’re letting them know five minutes before or three days before you can’t go, at least they’re not left wondering."
Thankfully, this tale has a happy ending.
This weekend, Mia is having another party where what seems like half the Gold Coast will celebrate with her.
And as for me, I’m going to buy a diary and from now on let my ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and my ‘no’ be ‘no’ when I’m next asked to please respond.