Ann Wason Moore on Easter, and the horrible new trend of Easter gifts

There’s a few magical reasons why Easter is better than Christmas, writes Ann Wason Moore. But there’s one new trend threatening to ruin its perfection — Easter gifts.

HERE’S a hot take: Easter beats Christmas.

Don’t believe me? Just ask my wallet.

All of the chocolate in the world (or at least in Woolworths) doesn’t add up to a fraction of my Yuletide outlay.

Besides, as far as public holidays go, Easter provides just as many days off but — far more importantly — they always sandwich a weekend. Instead of a random Tuesday, Wednesday situation, Easter guarantees a sweet four-day holiday.

Traditional handpainted Easter eggs. (Photo by Tobias SCHWARZ / AFP)

Even better, it’s time off during the best season of the year. I’d call it “autumn’’ but anyone who has lived on the Gold Coast for more than five minutes knows that season does not exist.

The truth is that we have only three weather classifications: warm, really warm and I-want-to-die-it’s-so-hot-and-humid.

Christmas clearly belongs in the last category.

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There’s also way less stress about creating the “perfect Easter’’.

Actually, there is zero stress because you’re not obliged to spend the day with extended family. By all means you can if you want, but why would you?

December 25 might be when Jesus was born, but the first Sunday after the ecclesiastical full moon that occurs on or soonest after March 21 is when he rose again from the dead. (Photo by GALI TIBBON / AFP)

Easter is a day for a relaxed barbecue, or a weekend camping trip, or even just a day on the couch gorging yourself with off-brand chocolate while simultaneously bingeing on Netflix. Oh hey! Look at that … I just defined an actual Perfect Easter.

Even religion is on my side.

Really, Christmas is just a big birthday party, but Easter is like the world’s greatest comeback story.

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After all, December 25 might be when Jesus was born, but the first Sunday after the ecclesiastical full moon that occurs on or soonest after March 21 is when he rose again from the dead.

What’s not to love about Easter?

See, that’s another great thing about Easter. It keeps us on our toes. Nobody knows when it’s going to be until the next year’s calendar is printed. That’s a gift in itself.

However, it’s important for us Easter traditionalists to be on guard against those who seek to change our customs and rituals (ie the barbecue and alcohol).

There is a movement gathering strength that seeks to elevate this holiday beyond the status of “chocolate and food fest’’ that it currently enjoys (and boy, do we enjoy it).

I’m talking about Easter gifts.

When did this start? Isn’t chocolate gift enough?

Yet suddenly I find myself being suckered into buying non-edible items for my children.

I understand that some parents would prefer not to feed their kids junk food, and so instead purchase a small present instead. But that is certainly not my situation.

I have absolutely no issue in stocking the fridge with Cadbury Creme Eggs, if for no other reason than I can then eat them all once the kids are back at school.

I can’t even say that the kids are pressuring these Easter purchases. Talking to other parents, it seems we’re all under the same power of this festive groupthink. We don’t know why we’re buying extra gifts, but we all are. And we’re all purchasing the same thing: pyjamas.

What can I say? I can’t resist a cute bunny onesie. Last year I bought one for each child, plus the dog.

But this year, I think I’ve gone too far. I’ve bought my husband pyjamas. Llama pyjamas. He’s not going to like it. I don’t even think I’m going to like it. Although I might like posting it to social media.

This festive madness must end here. Otherwise, before we know it, Easter will have transformed into a giant family-only pyjama party.

God help us.

No, really. God … help us.

Send us a sign that the Easter holiday should remain the domain of those devoted to chocolate, barbecues and good times. Let it not be spoiled by the guilt-laden demands of gift-giving.

Oh, look at that. There’s a sale on spirits at the bottle shop.

Amen.