Ann Wason Moore shares public service annoucement for people thinking of getting veneers

Ann Wason Moore has issued a public service announcement when it comes to getting your teeth done as others say “people’s faces are really starting to scare me”.

No one likes superficial stereotypes, but as Australians we really are the lucky country.

From the image of the bronzed Aussie to a widespread belief that we’re all fit, healthy and good-looking, I’m willing for that myth to perpetuate.

But when you break it down to a city level, the picture isn’t quite so pretty.

The Gold Coast becomes just blondes, bikinis and budgie-smugglers, with a truckload of fake tan and tribal tatts, plus pumped-up lips, boobs and male muscles.

It’s not just the GC either, last year AI program Midjourney depicted stereotypes from across the country.

The Sydney female ‘model’ looked straight out of the 1980s, complete with shoulder pads and statement earrings, while the Melbourne man looked like a scarf-wearing hipster who would 100 per cent mansplain your favourite movie.

Meanwhile, the man and woman from Brisbane both looked appropriately boring, the guy from Adelaide looked to be born in the same year as most of its residents, 1846, and the dude from Perth looked like the embodiment of an ick.

But the truth is that, these days, no matter where you live in Australia, there is something even more artificial than these AI stereotypes.

Veneers.

Melbournbe man AI.

Maybe I’m just long in the tooth, but what the heck has happened to people’s teeth?

Waiting for a coffee at The Oxley in Nobby’s Beach on the weekend, I was blinded by the glare coming off the choppers of some customers.

Not only were their teeth ridiculously white, they also seemed absurdly large for their own mouths. Now, I wholeheartedly approve of anyone doing whatever makes them feel better about themselves - I dye my hair, I have previously worn coloured contacts and I’ve also dabbled in Botox. So you do you, boo.

However, I do think it’s time to issue a public service announcement when it comes to getting your teeth done, because people are not getting the best bang for their buck (teeth).

And it’s not just me who has noticed this proliferation of fake veneers, which are essentially coverings that fit over the front surfaces of slightly filed-down natural teeth.

Search #veneers on Instagram and you’ll find 3.6 million posts, while on TikTok the same hashtag has accrued billions of views.

The podcast Ride recently discussed this ever-growing trend with a spot-on assessment from co-hosts Mary Beth Barone and Benito Skinner.

“People’s faces are really starting to scare me,” they said.

“You are beautiful just the way you are. Your lips don’t need to look like they’re trying to escape.

“And those veneers are kicking your ass.

“You know, you don’t wear veneers, veneers wear you. It’s like dog walking, people are getting dog-walked by their veneers.”

And sadly, the veneer bark is just as bad as the over-bite.

Ann Wason Moore shares public service annoucement for people thinking of getting veneers

Vice-chair of the Australian Dental Association’s oral health committee, Dr Gavin Quek, last year confirmed that dental professionals in Australia have observed growing demand for cosmetic dentistry procedures, including porcelain veneers.

While there are plenty of dentists who offer this service right here at home, there is also a growing trend towards dental tourism. In fact, glowing white veneers in the UK are now dubbed ‘Turkey teeth’, given that so many fly there for cheap cosmetic work.

Over here, we’re more likely to head to south-east Asia, but there have been horror stories from all of these dental destinations, with patients telling tales of teeth filed down to nubs and veneers falling off their face.

Even when it’s all done perfectly, many patients don’t realise the ongoing cost. With an initial outlay of $400 up to $1000 per veneer, they also must be replaced after 10 to 15 years.

But also, just as Ross Geller was once told on Friends, I miss the old human teeth.

Would I like a little glow up on mine after decades of coffee and red wine consumption? Heck yes. But would I want piano teeth? Well, nobody wants to get played like that.

And while I’ll have a laugh about superficial Aussie stereotypes, sometimes I find the uniformity of a certain segment of guys and girls in this city a little freaky.

It’s hard to smile about that … even if your teeth do fit your face.