Ann Wason Moore: Clasically Aussie problems that you need to look out for

Forget the raging Australia Day date debate – these are the problems you really need to look out for on January 26, writes Ann Wason Moore.

As the Australia Day date debate rages on, let’s not forget that we can all agree on one thing:

Love of this country.

Of course, defining what that love and this country mean is all but impossible, but our common ground is that this is our home.

And while I personally would love to see the date change so we can just get on with the celebrations (and respect the validity of others’ feelings), this year already has me suffering from rage burnout.

So rather than engage in any arguments, instead I’m going to focus on educating my fellow countrymen and women on a few points that every Aussie should know … and yet don’t.

And yes, I appreciate the irony of saying that, given I still bear the last vestiges of an American accent after three decades.

Regardless, consider these pro tips as a True Blue Aussie test … and may you pass with flying colours.

The delightful Morbakka fenneri, otherwise known as a Moreton Bay Stinger. Picture: Supplied.

1. WHAT TO DO WHEN STINGERS/SNAKES/SPIDERS STRIKE

We just learned this one the hard way.

Swimming in the Maroochy River, my son was stung by a Morbakka fenneri – otherwise known as a Moreton Bay Stinger.

It’s technically a kind of box jellyfish, but not the deadly kind. Although apparently it can sometimes cause irukandji effects and it caused a significant and painful sting that left a nasty welt for days.

However, what was most shocking of all was not the sting, nor my own ignorance of what to do, but the lifesaver’s cluelessness.

First he decided it was a bluebottle – it was not, we saw it. Then he told us to rinse off under freshwater and, if we wanted, we could walk 800m to the club and get some ice. Um, thanks?

However, further research showed you should actually rinse off with seawater and then pour some vinegar on the site. Fortunately for all concerned, urinating on my 17-year-old child was not an option.

With marine stingers swarming in early this season, I’d suggest families and clubbies alike get acquainted with the FAQs, because the bad boys of the ocean are rapidly moving south from FNQ as our oceans warm.

Given our complete lack of awareness of stinger first aid, I’ve since studied up on snake and spider bites and now might not ever leave my house again.

Before downing a cool beer, maybe give the lid a good wipe-down. Picture: Generated by Gemini AI.

2. HOW TO PROTECT YOUR BEER

One of the hottest topics at any Aussie barbecue is how to keep your drink cold.

Do you go for an old-school foam stubby cooler? Or do you take it to new levels of tech with an insulated metal holder? Or perhaps you stick to the most trusted method and just drink fast?

Turns out, we’re focusing on the wrong risks.

A bottle shop worker posted on social media that the first thing we should all do is give our drink a good wipe down.

“I’m constantly removing cans of beer from the fridge (with) mould … on the packaging, bottoms, sides, and most importantly – the tops,” they wrote.

“The manager just puts it back on the shelf and, if you’re lucky, it might have gotten a quick rinse under the sink.

“Always inspect the products you buy, especially if they’re in a fridge and even more so if the fridge seems condensationy (sic).”

And that’s not all:

“Rodent pee and cockroach poop on can tops is more of a common occurrence than people realise. Basically assume some pest has used all cans as a toilet.”

Cheers, mate!

There’s nothing worse than a plugger blowout. Picture: iStock.

3. HOW TO FIX A THONG

There’s nothing worse than a plugger blowout.

You’re walking along, thongs snug on your feet, when pop – one of the straps just lets go like Elsa.

Rather than risk a third-degree burn from the blazing bitumen or sizzling sand, you can rebuild if you remember this tip.

Always keep a bread tie or tag handy in your pocket, wallet or back of the phone and use it to reinforce the plug so it no longer slips through the hole of your trusty thong.

FYI a large safety pin also works if your bakery only uses cardboard bread tags.

It’s important to know your sandbanks from your inshore gutters.

4. HOW TO READ A BEACH

Reading is, indeed, fundamental.

While the safest play is to always simply swim between the flags, every Aussie should also understand basic beach elements.

Know your sandbanks from your inshore gutters, know how to identify rip currents and what to do if you’re caught in one.

Most importantly, understand that our ocean is a complex and powerful force. And, just like Australia itself, the most dangerous action you can take is to underestimate it.