WTF: Durry disgust, Daz delusion, Stretch’s success
A man has smoke coming out of his ears after purchasing a pack of Winnie Blues at his local supermarket “forced” him to the black market.
Geelong
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They’re the little – and sometimes not so little – things that can really irk us … and they’re back! A new slot, on a new page with the same old problems that have us all saying, woah, that’s frustrating!
DURRY DISGUST
A man has smoke coming out of his ears after purchasing a pack of Winnie Blues at his local supermarket “forced” him to the black market.
A reader contacted WTF to vent his frustration with the federal government after his darts of choice weren’t quite up to scratch.
To set the scene, he said he entered a Leopold supermarket with the intention to purchase a 25 pack of Winfield Blue Supreme. That’s when his frustration began.
“I was told that I can no longer purchase these cigarettes in 25s, but can in 20s,” he said.
“When the attendant handed me a packet of 20s, the cigarette packet did not state ‘blue’ and when I asked the attendant about this, they stated there is a code on their drawers; where they store their cigarettes that identify ‘blue’.”
It only got worse when our saddened smoker sparked one up.
“When I opened the pack of 20s Winfield made by British Tobacco the taste of these cigarettes had completely changed,” he said.
According to keen gasper, the change in flavour could stem from recently implemented law that banned ingredients that make darts taste better.
As a “direct result,” the cigarettes now “taste like s---” to him, which has “forced” him to the “black market” for “untampered” Winnies, something he blames on the honourable “idiot” Mark Butler – otherwise known as the Albanese government’s health minister.
REALLY, DAZ?
If you needed further proof of just how in touch missing in action MP Darren Cheeseman is with his South Barwon electorate, look no further than last Thursday’s parliamentary question time.
Cheeseman rose from his seat next to fellow exiled Labor MP Will Fowles to press Premier Jacinta Allan on an issue that we here at WTF have not once heard being front of mind among his constituents.
That is, other than its ridiculously high $34bn price tag – and that’s just for stage one.
“With the federal election now out of the way, is there any remaining impediments to delivering (the) suburban rail loop,” he asked, without any sense of shame.
He then linked the project to “unlocking future housing” and asked why that was important.
Liberal MP Richard Riordan, whose seat of Polwarth neighbours South Barwon, was having none of it.
“Mr Cheeseman used the goodwill and trust of the people of South Barwon to help prop up the broke and heartless state Labor government that is taxing the regions to pay for infrastructure in Melbourne,” he said
POTHOLE FIXED
When news broke that a pothole the size of Tasmania was greeting visitors from the Apple Isle, it was a sure bet that Geelong’s “back to basics” mayor would be on the scene in a jiffy.
Sure enough, Stretch Kontelj posted a striking selfie taken at the intersection of Seabeach Pde and St Georges Rd, with an accompanying message.
“It’s indeed busted and broken,” he confirmed.
He quickly pointed out that the road in question was the responsibility of the state government.
“Notwithstanding, I will write to both the Department of Transport and to the local member Ella George MP to advocate for an urgent fix,” he added.
“As the gateway to Geelong for Spirit of Tasmania commuters, this roadway is so far below satisfactory that it must get priority focus.
“We need (to) get this road redeveloped as a matter of urgency.”
In a world where bureaucratic red tape often sees even the most menial task take months, our mayor was claiming victory less than a fortnight later.
And the reason for the swift fix?
“It shows the power of community advocacy,” he explained.
“I plan to visit the site in coming days to inspect first hand the quality of the work and improved functionality.”
We keenly await the appraisal (and selfie).
WORST NIGHTMARE
Here’s something to keep you up at night.
A motorist travelling south along Thompsons Rd in Norlane found themselves in a predicament that could only be described as one’s worst nightmare.
Somehow, their blue hatchback became stuck between the boomgates after they went down.
“When will Geelong get rid of unsafe level crossings?” the poster wrote.
After checking the state’s balance book, not soon.
Originally published as WTF: Durry disgust, Daz delusion, Stretch’s success
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